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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - Canning Randy (S06E06)

"[Ted Narrating] No, GNB was not popular."
How I Met Your Mother
"That's why every year they produced a feel-good video to improve the bank's image."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Male Announcer] What makes Goliath National Bank different from other big banks?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I care about our precious earth."
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"I care about old people."
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"I care about high-yield off-shore investments..."
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"and so does Tugboat here."
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"Isn't that right, Tugboat? Yeah."
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"Okay, get that camera outta my face..."
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"before I flip you like a cheese omelet."
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"All you have to do is say "I care about making dreams come true.""
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"First of all, that line makes me sound like a hooker..."
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"and saying it makes me feel like a hooker."
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"Everyone is in this video. Randy's in the video."
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"I don't want to brag, but in 29 takes..."
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"I only threw up thrice."
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"Great."
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"Randy, did you send the Hermanson contracts downtown?"
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"[Chuckling] I did. I sent them downtown."
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"Why are you sayin' it like that? They never arrived at the downtown office."
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"They..."
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"Just to make sure we're on the same page..."
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"is "send them downtown" not an expression for shredding a document?"
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"- You shredded them? - [Stammering] I sent them downtown."
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"You know, down into the shredder."
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"You-You feed the paper in a downwards fashion..."
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"so that's where the expression comes from."
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"That's not an expression! That has never been an expression!"
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"Okay, I can fix this. I am all over this project."
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"I'll say this. There is no quit in that guy."
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"You should fire him."
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"Okay, that... That right there..."
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"That attitude is exactly why I won't be in your video..."
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"because GNB doesn't care."
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"They hand out pink slips like they're hors d'oeuvres."
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"Just last week, I was talking to Arthur."
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"Whoa, whoa. You're wearin' a green tie. No."
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"- I'm wearin' a green tie. - [Bell Dings]"
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"GNB treats their people like they're disposable..."
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"and I will not be a part of that."
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"Marshall Eriksen does not fire people, period."
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"Uh, just want you to know, we are making good progress on this new project."
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"- [Phone Rings] - You gentlemen keep talking."
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"Marshall Eriksen's office."
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"Yeah, I can get that for you. Just a second."
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"Uh, "bank." The "B" stands for bank."
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"Okay, Mother, I'll see you tonight."
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"Oh, yikes. I better get Mr. Messy a napkin."
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"Period!"
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"Just tell me who you slept with."
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"Aha! It's someone we know."
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"- Bill Pepper? - Mm-hmm."
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"Kind of a coincidence there happens to be..."
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"a bill and a pepper shaker here on the table."
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"[Gasps] Any chance you and Bill had a three-way with Fork Napkin?"
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"- Oh, come on! - It's someone we know!"
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"So, I'm assuming you all read the chapters on Greek Revival architecture."
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"- Any questions? - Yes. How do you sleep at night?"
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"- Any questions? - Yes. How do you sleep at night?"
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"What are you doing here?"
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"It was recently made clear to me..."
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"that I don't know the first thing about architecture..."
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"so here I am."
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"Very well then. Let's get started."
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"[Clears Throat] Some examples of Greek Revival architecture..."
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"No."
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"What's the Arcadian?"
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"Oh, it's just this beautiful old building..."
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"that Professor Mosby wants to tear down."
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"What? No. Professor Mosby loves old buildings."
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"He wouldn't do that. Right, Ted?"
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"Getting back to Greek Revival..."
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"- I lost 'em. - Look, you're new at teaching."
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"In my kindergarten class, I have had plenty of troublesome students..."
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"like Johnny Marley."
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"- [Boy Shouting] - [Children Laughing]"
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"Johnny! Johnny!"
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"He and that little stuffed horsey raised all kinds of hell."
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"But I have a simple method for shuttin' down troublemakers."
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"You know that '98 Taurus that's always parked outside?"
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"The one with the really annoying alarm?"
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"[Together, High Voices] Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!"
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"[Low Voices] Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!"
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"Ooh-wee! Ooh-wee! Ooh-wee!"
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"Whoo-oop! Whoo-oop!"
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"Ehh-ehh! Ehh-ehh!"
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"We're familiar with it."
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"Well, when a kid like Johnny acts up in my class..."
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"Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh!"
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"Whoo-oop! Whoo-oop! Whoo-oop!"
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"Ehh-ehh! Ehh-ehh! Ehh!"
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"Shuts 'em right up."
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"Lily, my students are adults, and I treat them that way."
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"I'll just give them more candy and make them a mix CD. Problem solved."
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"Oh, baby, what's wrong?"
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"- [Knocking] - Randy, hey. Have you seen..."
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"Before you get to that, regarding the earlier project I was working on..."
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"Voilà."
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"- That's the Hermanson contract? - The Hermanson contract?"
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"Aw, man, this is the Filbert contract."
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"Anyway, what's your thing?"
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"I need the Filbert contract!"
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"No!"
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"Well, I'll do what I can..."
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"but in my experience, twice shredded is fairly permanent."
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"I'm sorry, Randy..."
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"but this just isn't working out."
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"Marshall popped his cherry!"
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"- [Cork Pops] - Oh!"
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"Come on, Marshall. You have to admit, the guy was a disaster."
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"I mean, it reflected badly on the company."
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"He was an embarrassment, a huge embarrassment."
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"- You slept with Randy! - [Gasps]"
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"- What? - Why it's elementary, my dear "Scherbatson.""
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"Your co-host is getting super popular..."
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"because of her stupid commercial..."
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"Boats! Boats! Boats!"
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"so when you arrived at the GNB party after we left..."
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"Then, from across the not-so-crowded conference room..."
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"your eyes met."
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