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Clips from The Big Bang Theory (2007) - The Matrimonial Metric (S11E11)

"about our wedding plans?"
The Big Bang Theory (2007)
"I'll avoid talking to our friends entirely"
The Big Bang Theory (2007)
"but I was Bernadette's maid of honor,"
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"and I think she kind of expects it."
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"just maybe you can help me change the subject."
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"No, that's my code word. Get your own."
The Big Bang Theory (2007)
"Rhinos are my least favorite animals at the zoo."
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"You know, I don't know how I feel"
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"the Wolowitz line ends here."
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"How did you know we did?"
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"Two months of bed rest-- it's kind of rough."
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"She's actually been keeping herself busy"
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"Oh, right. Yeah, oh, yeah."
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"Did you know that we've been thinking"
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"No, no. No, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry."
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"I'm gonna need some help."
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"Someone baby-proofed the front door."
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"♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪"
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"is pushing for my brother, Georgie, to be my best man,"
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"I already rejected her savior and her LinkedIn invitation."
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"How are we gonna make these decisions"
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"and base it on empirical metrics?"
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"But how do we apply quantitative metrics"
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"people in a wedding party perform very specific functions,"
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"Okay, I see your point."
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"and then design specialized tests for each."
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"involve so much science, I'd have proposed years ago."
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"but you've read a book before."
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"I do. It's something I've been thinking about for a long time."
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"I'm entitled to a pile of fat rice."
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"Well, I would say that this constitutes a catering crisis."
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"You didn't make him feel bad, did you?"
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"Actually, he was laughing."
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"One of my first full sentences was,"
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"Oh, nice. Oh, nice."
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"Someone else go."
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"You were timing me?"
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"How long will it last?"
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"Oh, um..."
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"Well, she's still pulling a commanding lead."
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"We could've done that ourselves."
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"(chuckles) That's what she said."
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"Oh, that has been weighing on me for years."
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"Would you call yourself a loyal and trustworthy friend?"
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"Is it about his special underwear?"
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"You keep things from your husband?"
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"Okay. Here it is."
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"in Leonard's apartment with my phone."
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"What are you two talking about?"
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"Leonard, quick. I need you to get me"
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"Because of the tradition that I cannot see Amy"
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"Please, please see a doctor."
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"Next test. Just wait one second."
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"I'm sorry. Where were we?"
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"Did she ever figure out what that thing on her knee was?"
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"Yes, she does. Damn, you are a thoroughbred."
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"Actually, I was talking about you."
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"Yeah, well, Bernadette's no prize either!"
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"It's about a group of people at dinner,"
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"can't sit next to anyone eating meat,"
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"Amy did. I solved it already."
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"Really? Yeah."
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"KOOTHRAPPALI: No, no, no, no, no."
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"Uh, Aunt Orange can't sit next to the bar"
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"without Ms. Pink saying,"
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"Did Sheldon and Amy give you guys that puzzle, too?"
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"We didn't go inside. He just said,"
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"I got one, too."
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"Hey, are you testing us"
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"And I'm in last?"
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"Don't panic, there's still time."
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"Impressive."
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"I secretly experimented on my friends,"
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"Well, if you really don't want to use your brother,"
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"I'd be your best man."
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"Really?"
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"Plus, it'd be nice."
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"Never really been called the best before."
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"Or a man, for that matter."
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"That's a very generous offer."
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"I-I understand"
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"I believe I owe the three of you an apology."
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"By experimenting on you,"
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"No."
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"I've asked Stuart to be my best man,"
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"You're all still invited to the bachelor party."
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"Uh, he's thinking Costco and the theme is browsing."
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"how could I possibly choose among the three of you?"
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"Is it? Perhaps I said it wrong."
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"You've kind of been training for this your whole life."
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"And if it helps... these two are quitters."
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"Mm, I just talked to Sheldon."
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"No, my best friend didn't ask me to be her maid of honor."
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"which the mother of my children finds oddly appealing."
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"but if you think anyone but me is gonna be your maid of honor,"
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"then you're an idiot because you are my best friend."
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"No one can take that away from me."
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"Although, if you want to be a part"
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"Sold."
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"Well, I thought Halley was gonna be the flower girl."
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"Sorry, Stuart, you're out."
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"Actually, I haven't had the courage to tell her."
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"Uh, yeah. (clears throat)"
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"Although, as maid of honor,"
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"Not that much."
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"Hey, can you do me a favor?"
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"Can we try to avoid talking to our friends tonight"
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"I'll do you one better."
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"It's just, I haven't picked a maid of honor yet,"
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"Ah, understandable."
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"both blonde former waitresses who married beneath them."
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"Penny is my best friend,"
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"So if anyone brings it up tonight,"
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"How about this?"
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"I dominate the conversation so hard,"
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"I don't know."
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"They might see that coming."
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"What if we have a code word?"
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"Ooh, now you're speaking my catamaran."
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"That's my code word for "language.""
The Big Bang Theory (2007)
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