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Clips from The Simpsons - Go Big or Go Homer (S31E31)

"Yeah! Okay, what you need is an investor,"
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"He gave me five dollars."
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"from the oven into your mouth."
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"Every slice a Jeter."
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"No Scott Brosiuses."
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"It's just slices, hot and fresh."
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"of Homer J. Simpsons."
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"Then it's my pleasure to tell you..."
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"(groans angrily)"
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"No, Mike, don't."
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"Nin..."
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"sitting on your peanut brittle ass"
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"with your turn-of-the-century buzzard face."
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"You smell like Chinese food that someone left"
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"in an old jack-o'-lantern."
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"so stuff your organs back in their jars"
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"you sick, fungused-up, hep-C Dracula!"
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"(gasps)"
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"By the way, he's off his happy pills."
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"You're lucky Mr. Burns's gun was 200 years old."
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"Yeah, but now my doctor says"
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"I can't get shot in the face again."
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"Who's ugly now, pellet-head?"
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"(chuckles mockingly)"
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"Come on, it's okay. Don't cry."
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"I'm not. All the BBs in my head are making it heavy."
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"Mike, this is all my fault."
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"I know you think I'm a great nuclear guy, but I'm not."
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"I caused them."
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"-Huh? No. No. -(BBs clattering)"
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""Go Big or Go Home"--"
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"I was caught shoplifting those from a poster store."
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"Mike, face it, I'm a bad mentor."
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"Not even you."
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"You're the best mentor a lousy bride-banger like me"
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"could ever ask for."
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"And I'm gonna prove it."
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"(tires screech)"
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"Anybody want a slice of pizza"
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"that wasn't sliced from a pizza?"
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"Where'd you get a food truck?"
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"It's all cause of you, mentor, all cause of you. Deal with it."
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"Can't you read a truck, Cookie Puss?"
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"All righty, three slices, please."
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"They'll be ready in 13, 26 and 39 minutes."
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"And don't block the window, sizzle chest."
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"No, no, no, no, no, no. It's all good."
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"and then bet the other 50 on tonight's Lehigh game,"
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"So when I win the bet, I pay back the mob,"
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"You bet on yourself!"
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"as Holy Cross goes on an unanswered 20-point run."
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"(shouts) No, no, no, Lehigh is a lock!"
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"They're undefeated on floors with hockey ice beneath them."
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"Yet again, a man's life hangs by the gossamer thread"
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"of Patriot League basketball."
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"ANNOUNCER: But Lehigh takes the lead with a three"
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"from way behind the arc."
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"ANNOUNCER: But the Crusaders answer"
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"-with a floater in the key! -(cocking guns)"
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"BOTH: Whoo-hoo!"
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"The body bag!"
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"gives Holy Cross the win."
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"(guns clicking)"
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"(dog howling)"
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"HOMER: (gasps) A food truck graveyard."
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"Why are there so many failed ones?"
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"(both gasp)"
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"Homer, I got to tell you one thing."
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"Your boy's not ugly."
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"He's gorgeous."
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"Tell baby Patrick I loved her."
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"All right, do me."
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"gently melting over a single slice of triangular dough."
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"Mmm! Usually a slice is dried out"
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"from sitting under a heat lamp, but this is hot and fresh!"
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"See? This guy has good ideas."
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"And even our gambling operation is in trouble"
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"with the advent of legal online wagering."
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"Too bad you can't take action out of my food truck,"
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"let the betting come to you."
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"Now, do me already!"
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"and the moneyline on Georgetown."
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"Yo, Tony! We're raking it in on the sportsbook."
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"And it was a great idea to sell weed out of this thing also."
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"Homer, you believed in this stagelagoots"
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"when no one else would."
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"You listened to him, nurtured his ideas,"
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"and now he is a success."
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"Truly, you are an excellent mentor."
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"¶ Let ¶"
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"¶ The river run ¶"
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"¶ Come ¶"
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"¶ The new Jerusalem... ¶"
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"Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH"
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"ALL: Sur... prise."
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"but, uh, there's not a baby in sight."
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"at a nuclear power plant."
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"(gobbling)"
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"taking advantage of an old man."
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"(sighs)"
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"What variables can we assume?"
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"You exude amaretto, you freak."
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"How do you know who I am?"
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"-Because of this. -Hmm?"
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"(sighs)"
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"care so much about your job?"
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"He's super dumb. (laughs)"
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"Mike Wegman. This is Maureen."
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"So, Mike, you seem like a sharp tack."
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"you are not a kid-- you are a walkin' potato clock."
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"I'm, uh, just tunin' in to a little college hoops."
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"with a baby on the way, do you have any other dreams?"
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"Every slice is Derek Jeter."
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"Oh, my God, I can't believe you like it."
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"Get this intern out of my office, you nincompoop!"
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"Ho! No one disrespects Homer J. Simpsons."
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"You ain't worthy to squeegee this man's back sweat."
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"MIKE: Yo! Mentor!"
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"("That's Amore" instrumental playing over P.A.)"
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"The boys and I will take a large pie."
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