Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from New Girl - Fancyman Part 1 (S01E01)

"that you're smarter? - First, Kate is a duchess."
New Girl
"And whip-smart, by all accounts. Second of all, don't be so prideful."
New Girl
"Look, man, there's nothing wrong with being the second smartest. Let me take that back."
New Girl
"- Jess is a teacher of children. - You memorize facts."
New Girl
"- That doesn't make you smart. - Okay, well, maybe..."
New Girl
"but I'm definitely smarter than you. Whew."
New Girl
"Glutes are done. I'm gonna go to the stairwell. Work on my calves."
New Girl
"- Come with? - Hell, no."
New Girl
"You sure?"
New Girl
"I need to grovel. I hate groveling."
New Girl
"I would've lasted two seconds in the court of the Sun King."
New Girl
"I think about that all the time."
New Girl
"- You do? - Know how much I grovel on a daily basis?"
New Girl
"It is literally obscene. But come the weekend..."
New Girl
"I'm the one who's filling up my cart with Fila, Nautica, impulse Fila, Hilfiger..."
New Girl
"CK, BR leather cuff, and more Fila. - This is the problem, Jess."
New Girl
"It's rich people. We are right where they want us, Jess."
New Girl
"- Yeah. - The reason I got rid of my phone."
New Girl
"You were denied a cell phone because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost."
New Girl
"- It doesn't matter. - You weigh more than your credit score."
New Girl
"I'm here now, and I'm loving it. I'm the guy with no phone."
New Girl
"I mean, right now, I'm writing a letter to my friend Kev..."
New Girl
"seeing if he wants to party with me this Friday."
New Girl
""What up, Kev? You in? Nick Miller.""
New Girl
"Yeah, Nick, he might pull the funding from the school so I'm a bit..."
New Girl
"Blame your period. I've actually done this before."
New Girl
"I mean, both parties knew that I was lying, obviously..."
New Girl
"but it didn't matter because they knew that I had utterly humiliated myself."
New Girl
"And at the end of the day, they respected that."
New Girl
"I'm sorry, I just feel like someone should suggest a simple apology."
New Girl
"I know that's not where we're headed, but I'm just gonna go on record and say..."
New Girl
"I think you should apologize, like a human."
New Girl
"No, no, I'm going with Nick because I don't think I have to apologize."
New Girl
"Yeah, just so march into his office and say, "Hey, Mr. Fancyman..."
New Girl
"you can't tell me what to do."
New Girl
"Your money doesn't own me." And then throw away your phone."
New Girl
"I'll throw my phone in the fiery chasm where he keeps his poor people."
New Girl
"Actually, scratch that. My mom's got your number in case of emergency."
New Girl
"I want her to think that I can bring something to the table."
New Girl
"I care about this girl, Elvin. I want her to be my girlfriend."
New Girl
"She sees me, all she sees is a part-time nanny. That's a..."
New Girl
"- You are a part-time nanny. - I want her to think I'm smart."
New Girl
"What about fake glasses? It worked for me."
New Girl
"- I wanna practice it. - Why are you listening to Nick?"
New Girl
"- It's a horrible idea. - Ghost Protocol, man."
New Girl
"You're using my phone. It's not Ghost Protocol. It's you using my phone."
New Girl
"This is a group call. I'm talking in my living room and it happens to go into that box."
New Girl
"I'm gonna start with a quote against Social Darwinism..."
New Girl
"discuss the Gilded Age, the robber barons, the Great Society..."
New Girl
"how we ended up with a huge wealth disparity in this country..."
New Girl
"- Bad finish. - What is that?"
New Girl
"- Are you driving a lawn mower? - No, I just..."
New Girl
"Come on! - My car."
New Girl
"Look, this is a great opportunity. You need to ask yourself..."
New Girl
"where are you even going?"
New Girl
"- Buy a new car. - You don't need a car."
New Girl
"Oh, my car stalled out. Can you guys come and help me push it?"
New Girl
"Yeah, yeah, we'll be down in a few minutes."
New Girl
"Hey, can I help you? - What? Oh, hi."
New Girl
"Uh..."
New Girl
"Mr. Schiller."
New Girl
"- How'd you know I was here? - Driving by, I saw you."
New Girl
"My office is right here."
New Girl
"Oh. Oh."
New Girl
"What a coincidence. I had no idea."
New Girl
"- Weird. - What's wrong with the car?"
New Girl
"- The guy sounds like a matinee idol. - Shut up, Schmidt."
New Girl
"I'm just pushing it to the nearest gas station. It's a mile away, so I'm fine."
New Girl
"I know a guy. He'll be here in 10."
New Girl
"- Oh, no, Mr. Schiller. - Russell."
New Girl
"I can take care of myself. It's how I was raised."
New Girl
"I wasn't raised with money. When something broke, we pretended it worked."
New Girl
"Some of my best memories are pushing this car around on family vacations."
New Girl
"Okay."
New Girl
"Oh, yeah, tow truck's on the way."
New Girl
"Look, that's very nice and generous of you, but I really... I mean, I need my car and..."
New Girl
"Here, let me help you."
New Girl
"Take mine."
New Girl
"- What? - Take mine."
New Girl
"- Here. - No."
New Girl
"- Come on, take mine. - I don't know how to drive cars that work."
New Girl
"Drop it off tomorrow. I'm having a party."
New Girl
"Cookout. Come on over anytime. Come on."
New Girl
"Thank you so much. This is amazing. I will return it washed tomorrow."
New Girl
"- Do you think it's a superhero? - No. I think it's Jess and some weird guy."
New Girl
"- Miss Day? - Jess. You can call me Jess."
New Girl
"Great. I'll see you tomorrow, Jess."
New Girl
"Go is the one on the right. The one on the left is stop."
New Girl
"Thanks."
New Girl
"- What kind of car? An SL? Push ignition? - We are the 99 percent. We are the 99..."
New Girl
"- ...percent. - Push ignition?"
New Girl
"Tell me it's not a hybrid."
New Girl
"And then he gives me his car, just hands me the keys. It's, like, so, ugh..."
New Girl
"Rich people, they're always giving you their cars. It's like "let them eat cars.""
New Girl
"You know what he's doing. He's taking back the power."
New Girl
"So I have to go to his cookout, and instead of standing up to him..."
New Girl
"I have to grovel. - Just a thought."
New Girl
"What if he likes you?"
New Girl
"Sweet? No."
New Girl
"- Why? - Because he's the type of guy..."
New Girl
"who has a linen closet and a towel warmer. You know me."
New Girl
"I'm only attracted to guys who are afraid of success..."
New Girl
"and think someone famous stole their idea. I like an underdog."
New Girl
"Can I say something you're not gonna like?"
New Girl
"- No. - Maybe Russell intimidates you..."
New Girl
"because you wouldn't take care of him. He'd take care of you..."
New Girl
"and that just terrifies you. - Uh, no."
New Girl
"Spencer wore jellies."
New Girl
"How many pounds in a metric ton?"
New Girl
"Two thousand two hundred and four point six. Next."
New Girl
"- In 1948, Albert became the first what... - American monkey in space. Let's go."
New Girl
"You didn't actually know what a Mesopotamia is."
New Girl
"Of course I know what Mesopotamia is. Don't be crazy."
New Girl
"Look, there's Mesopotamia."
New Girl
"I'm gonna have to draw on your hatred of rich people for this, okay?"
New Girl
"- Hate me up. - Well, for starters, look at this place."
New Girl
"- I know. Ugh. - I'm betting at one point there was a moat."
New Girl
"- Rich boy punk. - Heh, heh."
New Girl
"NICK This hallway is excessive. It's braggy."
New Girl
"I guess everyone's out back."
New Girl
Show more clips