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Clips from Married with Children - My Mom, the Mom (S03E03)

"Hey, Peg."
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"Listen."
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"I had to."
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"One of your shirts reached out of the hamper,"
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"and demanded to be taken to the airport."
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"Two months ago, I bought 20 pair of socks."
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"I can't."
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"They're the socks I got married in."
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"Or was it Geraldo?"
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"Fine, but I'll be watching you."
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""We may be nerds, but at least we're not poor. Ha ha.""
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"and misspelled "ha ha.""
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"It's Kelly, Al."
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"Our spelling bee winner should be here any second."
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"Dad, please, go easy on her."
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"Kelly!"
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"Oh, yeah."
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"Principal Wicker's been out to get me"
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"I have to join the tap club."
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"Way to go, Supermom."
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"I close a couple of deals, and I go home."
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"I need school. I belong there."
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"Look, there's two things that Bundys don't do:"
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"and then after that, I'll see your principal."
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"Steve's mother used to twist, twist, and tuck."
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"They can't let go, can they?"
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"How come Al has so many socks?"
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"[TAPPING FOOTSTEPS]"
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"[MASCULINELY] He wants to be friends."
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"Kelly's principal"
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"Really?"
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"Well, I'm gonna shuffle off, shuffle off,"
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"I went into Mrs. Wicker's office"
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"and had it out with her man-to-man."
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"Boy, I'm hungry. What do we got in the fridge?"
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"I tap."
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"There's this guy."
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"you're not smart enough to get an equivalency diploma,"
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"Now you."
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"Nerd, geek, dweeb, da-weeb, nerd, dork."
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"Now with me."
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"Well, we're gonna be feeling mighty good come showtime."
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"Bring it home, baby!"
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"Kelly!"
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"You can have fun in those shoes."
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"See, your problem is"
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"you're not tuned in to the true spirit of tap"
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"But they'll be sorry someday,"
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"So crawl, crawl, you paupers, and kiss my--"
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"Uh-- What?"
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"Al, she dances like a horse."
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"My goodness, that Newberger boy"
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"Try saying something nice to Principal Wicker."
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"You're looking less ugly tonight."
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"like spit through a trumpet."
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"Now I have a red and a green one."
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"I know you're up to something."
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"It's a signal, isn't it?"
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"It means "a year before we strike.""
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"Hi, Kel."
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"Gee,"
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"are your front teeth starting to protrude?"
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"Hey, Bruno, look."
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"so, you know..."
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"fizzing his way across the stage?"
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"Uh-oh, Newberger's talking to somebody."
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"HOST: And now, the Ganaywick sisters"
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"Listen, Kel,"
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"if it makes you feel any better,"
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"very, very funny."
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"go through with this, are you?"
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"Before our next act, please, please remember,"
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"* I get a fever That's so hard to bear *"
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"* You give me fever *"
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"* Fever *"
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"* In the morning *"
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"* Fever all through the night *"
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"My little girl's up there."
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"* Never know how much I care *"
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"* I get a fever That's so hard to bear *"
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"* Fever when you Hold me tight *"
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"* Sun lights up the daytime *"
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"* When you kiss me *"
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"* Everybody's got the fever *"
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"Oh, no!"
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"[PEG EXHALES]"
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""Cher to wed 21-year-old alien.""
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"Well, good for her!"
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"Oh, good."
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"I caught you on a break."
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"Last night I saw a bright star shining in the East."
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"Peg..."
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"Did you do our laundry?"
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"grabbed me around the windpipe,"
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"Stupid shirt."
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"If it was that easy, I would've been gone years ago."
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"Now, look, Peg."
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"Now I got 20 swinging singles"
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"with only one complete pair."
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"Then wear them."
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"The evil socks."
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"I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd get upset,"
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"but I traded your socks and the family cow"
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"for these magic beans."
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"Something's going on here, Peg."
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"Something dark, something deep, something sinister,"
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"so I know a woman's behind it."
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"Now, I called all my friends,"
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"and their socks are disappearing too,"
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"and their wives claim they don't know either."
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"So level with me, Peg."
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"What is Oprah telling you to do with our socks?"
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"Sell a shoe, Al."
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"All the guys are losing their socks"
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"while the girls in Home Ec giggle fiendishly?"
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"Mom, big news in school today."
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"Now, apparently, all the gangs banded together"
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"and attacked their bus."
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"They couldn't figure out why, but it seems that someone"
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"spray-painted a slogan on the side of the bus that said,"
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