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Clips from The Simpsons - The Telltale Head (S01E01)

"Wait! I think I hear something."
The Simpsons
"Five-finger discount, man."
The Simpsons
"If anyone has any information, please dial "O" and ask for the police."
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"Can you think of a better way for Daddy to spend his hard-won 50 bucks?"
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"Wait a minute."
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"Okay. It all started Sunday morning."
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"I seemed to have struck a chord with you today, Homer."
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"I pulled a few boners."
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"No, Dad. This whole thing was my fault."
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"The answers to deep theological questions."
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"What? Those cute little monkeys?"
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"a free slide whistle just like Sideshow Bob's."
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"Get your butts down here right now!"
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"- The head! - Kill him!"
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"I'm just tying to get a little goodness into the family."
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"and yet, at this very moment,"
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"I think I hear something... not human."
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"Well, okay."
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"to bring you this special news bulletin."
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"Yea!"
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"Uh-uh. I know what those movies are like."
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"You'll just get a lot of bad ideas."
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"- Can you blame him? - No. No, I can't."
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"Hey, Bart, where are you going?"
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"- Oh, I am, am I? - Shut up."
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"He's a good kid. Quit giving him the third degree."
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"came West in 1838."
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"No matter how tempting it might be,"
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"- Kill Homer! - Let's kill this guy!"
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"- Ready for inspection, Mom. - Very nice, Maggie."
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"Well, all right. Go ahead."
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"I have 50 bucks riding on this game."
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"- Will there be cavemen in heaven? - Certainly not."
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"Homer, were you planning on sitting in the car till the game was over?"
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"For the last time, Bart, yes!"
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"- Please, be seated, Homer. - Yeah, sit down, Homer."
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"- Hey, hot dog! - What?"
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"- Yeah. Only saps pay to see movies. - Hey, Bart, come on!"
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"Don't you kids take anything. I'm watching you."
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"- Go on, Bart. - But that guy founded Springfield."
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"He built our first hospital out of logs and mud."
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"in the great blizzard of '48."
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"So..."
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"Hey! Hey, you! Hey! Hey, you!"
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"Jebediah once killed a bear with his bare hands."
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"Dad, can I talk to you about something?"
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"We now go to Police Chief Wiggum at City Hall."
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"That number again,"O.""
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"I gotta go!"
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"-Allright. Allright. - Allright, already."
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"Good going, son."
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"Um, ma'am, what if you're a really good person,"
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"But, guys, come on. Don't you remember history class?"
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"Sure, boy. What's on your mind?"
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"Nice dismount, man."
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"...the 40, the 30, the 20, the 10. Touchdown!"
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"But remember-- Most lynch mobs aren't this nice."
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"Will it be waiting for you in heaven?"
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"You guys are sneakin' in?"
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"You know, when you look up at clouds in the sky,"
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"I'm glad you asked, son. Being popular is the most important thing in the world."
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"What have I done?"
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"with the courage to stand up and admit he's made a mistake."
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"Oh, come on. Loosen up, babe."
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"Where is it? The game! Where is it?"
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"No. Stop it!"
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"- Didn't hurt. - Oh, yeah? Well, do it again."
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"- Thanks. - Psst. Coast is clear."
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"and your leg gets gangrene, and it has to be amputated."
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"Sure would cheese everybody off."
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"but you're in a really, really bad fight..."
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"- Homer! - No, no, no! We stink. We stink."
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"they start looking like stuff."
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"A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center."
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"So, like, sometimes you could do stuff you think is pretty bad..."
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"There's nobody here but you and me."
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"-Ahh! -... got Wolodarsky open in the end zone."
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"You don't need an introduction. You're the worst kid in school."
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"so other kids will like you better?"
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"- No, they don't. - Yeah, they do."
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"Then run along, you little scamp."
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"- You do? - Yeah, that'd be cool."
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"Nah. Might land on my face and end up looking like you."
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"- Maybe. - Can you believe this, Homer? Homer?"
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"- Catch it. Catch it. - It's complete. Touchdown!"
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"This here's Kearny, and I'm Jimbo."
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"- You're not talking about killing anyone, are you? - No."
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"Like that one over there looks just like a cherry bomb."
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"Were you going to listen to rock music in Sunday school?"
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"- Are you? - No!"
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"I wish someone really would cut his ugly old head off."
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"You little punk!"
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"All right!"
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"Hey, you're right. And look at that one."
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"What's this? A personal stereo."
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"Hey, man, leave the kid alone. I like him."
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"- I mean, without the head, of course. - Oh, yeah."
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"- So what's your name, man? - I'm Bart Simpson."
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"Oh, Doctor, we got a barnburner here."
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"It looks like a guy with a switchblade stuck in his back."
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"- Does not. - Does too."
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"- You do? - Yeah, you're witty."
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"- You do? - Yeah, you're witty."
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"- Bart! - Whoa! Are you talking to me?"
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"This could be the most remarkable comeback since Lazarus rose from the dead."
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"Yeah, that one looks like a school bus..."
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"That one looks just like the statue of our town founder, Jebediah Springfield."
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"Laza who?"
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"going over a cliff in flames, with kids inside screaming."
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"Come on, everybody. We're late."
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"Bart. Bart?"
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"Bart, I want you to promise me you'll pay attention in Sunday school."
The Simpsons