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Clips from The Office - The Job (S03E03)

"Check it out."
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"I opened up a Word document on his computer"
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"and put an address at the top."
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"I've read some of it."
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"Even for the Internet, it's pretty shocking."
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"There they are, the accounting department."
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"I shall miss your humility and your promptly printed checks."
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"No. Not at all. I haven't talked to Jan since we broke up."
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"And I think if she had something to say, she would have called me."
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"Maybe you should talk to her before... No, no, no, no."
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"There's nothing she can do to stop it now. I already sold my condo."
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"Michael. KEVIN: What?"
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"Yes. Why... Who gave you that advice?"
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"Yeah, Michael, you should never... I..."
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"...sell your condo. I have to buy another place."
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"I sold it on eBay. The buyer was very motivated as was I."
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"Sold in record time."
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"No, Dwight,"
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"No, no. Not Michael. Me. I'm taking his job."
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"Jim, Jim, Jim."
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"Oh, hey, Dwight."
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"And the sheets are made of fire. Can I change rooms?"
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"Sorry, we're all booked up. Hell convention in town."
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"The co-owner. With Satan. Okay."
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"Just so I understand it, in your wildest fantasy,"
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"you are in Hell and you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the Devil."
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"Yeah, but I haven't told you my salary yet. Go."
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"Once I am officially regional manager,"
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"So I will need a new number two."
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"My ideal choice?"
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"But he is unavailable, fictional, and overqualified."
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"at the interview."
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"Who is D. Abramson?"
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"I'm... I'm great. It's good to see you."
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"Why privately?"
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"I just... I don't..."
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"I don't like the way that we left things."
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"Okay, sure. Fine. Why don't you wait in my office?"
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"I have some important business matters to take care of."
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"Pam, DEFCON 10. Houston, we have a problem."
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"What do you want me to do? I may need some immediate assistance."
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"What about Meredith? No."
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"She's an alternate."
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"So, how you been? I'm good."
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"Good. Good. Good."
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"Yeah."
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"Sorry to drop by unexpectedly. I..."
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"I tried calling, but I kept getting voicemail. Weird."
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"Yeah. I didn't get both of your messages."
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"So, Michael needs us in the conference room."
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"Hey, before I leave tonight,"
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"for our interviews tomorrow?"
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"After you ended everything with us, I went on a vacation"
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"to kind of clear my mind. Sounds good. Sounds fun."
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"It was. Yeah, it was good."
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"I think I should just..."
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"I... I feel good about myself for the first time in a really long time,"
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"and I miss you."
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"I want us to get back together."
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"DEFCON 20."
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"She wants to get back together. What are you going to do?"
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"I don't know. That's why you're here. Help me. Please."
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"KAREN: Would you want to get back together with her?"
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"No. No."
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"What do I do? Just don't get back together with her."
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"What if she makes me?"
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"ANGELA: How can she make you get back together with her?"
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"This was a terrible relationship."
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"I wasn't. You're so much happier now."
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"You are absolutely right."
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"I need to go in there and tell her that we can't be together."
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"PAM: Right."
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"I'm in a very good place right now. Okay."
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"MICHAEL: Jan is in a different place right now."
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"And it is a sign of maturity to give people second chances."
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"Oh, my God."
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"Oh, my God. Can you believe that? Unbelievable."
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"No, it's fine."
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"In my experience,"
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"guys are way more attracted to the back of you than to the front."
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"I love fake boobs."
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"So, there are a lot of things I would like to do differently."
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"First stop, priorities."
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"Excuse me, boob enhancement."
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"That would be shallow. And this is the opposite of shallow."
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"This is emotionally magnificent."
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"Okay, everyone, listen up!"
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"All right, you guys, see you later. Wish us luck."
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"Good luck, you guys."
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"PAM: I'm happy for him. I hope he gets the job."
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"I really just want him to be happy."
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"And I know that sounds cliche,"
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"Maybe I'm being cliche. I don't care because I am what I am."
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"That's Popeye."
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"I am going to begin this process"
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"with a simple test of intelligence and mental dexterity."
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"What is the best color? White."
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"You make a chair, but you don't sit on it."
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"What is the capital of Maine?"
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"The capital of Maine is Montpelier, Vermont,"
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"which is near Ithaca, New York where I went to Cornell."
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"Should not be a problem."
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"I minored in history in the Ivy League school which I attended."
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"But in another way,"
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"Because I have something no one else has, my brain,"
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"which I use to my advantage when advantageous."
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"Time! No, you failed. Damn it!"
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"Hey, thank you so much for driving me down for my interview."
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"Totally. No problem."
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"tomorrow night at a friend's house. Oh, wow. That sounds fun."
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"Is your friend named Karen, too? What did she accomplish?"
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"Oh. Because I'm going to get the job."
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"Wait, wait a second. Oh."
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"Let me check one more thing. Okay."
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"Very good."
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"All right, well, I have to get back."
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"But I will see you in New York tomorrow, right?"
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"Good luck with your interview. Thank you."
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"So I guess we're getting back together. What happened?"
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"Two weeks ago, I was in the worst relationship of my life."
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