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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S03E03)

"Because I can change the date for you on that Omicron Spacemaster."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, okay, damn guy."
Archer (2009)
"It's the Omicron Spymaster."
Archer (2009)
"And, Riley, do I have to kill everyone myself? Huh? Oh."
Archer (2009)
"But even still, Riley, you gotta be quicker."
Archer (2009)
"No, you just killed, like, 10 pirates."
Archer (2009)
"RILEY: Looks like they're surrendering. Why?"
Archer (2009)
"I do. What if this is a ruse? It's not a ruse."
Archer (2009)
"Do they speak English?"
Archer (2009)
"Excuse me? Sorry, hi, I'm Noah."
Archer (2009)
"No, I'm a bajak budak. ARCHER: Okay."
Archer (2009)
"It's sort of a-- I guess the nearest translation is "slave-pirate"?"
Archer (2009)
"They don't, though. They're just surrendering the ship to you."
Archer (2009)
"If you kill the old captain, you become the new captain."
Archer (2009)
"You don't think of pirates as having a lot of rules..."
Archer (2009)
"...but they do and that's a big one."
Archer (2009)
"What is--? What am I seeing?"
Archer (2009)
"NOAH: Oh, the women always throw a huge feast when we return to port."
Archer (2009)
"No. No, we're totally feasting. Say that."
Archer (2009)
"I'm gonna be a pirate king."
Archer (2009)
"Think he would dare to do that."
Archer (2009)
"Malory, he can't be found. I mean, if he's even still, um..."
Archer (2009)
"Katya!"
Archer (2009)
"You don't want that either."
Archer (2009)
"By tending bar and banging newlyweds?"
Archer (2009)
"Let's go, kid. Call you back, 1930s."
Archer (2009)
"You come try. I gotta choke down this gag reflex."
Archer (2009)
"A ruse, you big dumb idiot."
Archer (2009)
"So are we gonna make some cooch chili or what?"
Archer (2009)
"What the--? What the holy--? What in holy hell are you doing?"
Archer (2009)
"Looking good, girl."
Archer (2009)
"They're not candy bars, jackass, they're survival rations."
Archer (2009)
"Which you're floating on, and not getting shit out of a shark in."
Archer (2009)
"It doesn't. Raft's pretty bobby."
Archer (2009)
"...who I think invented the radio."
Archer (2009)
"Over."
Archer (2009)
"Don't just sit there sweating like a gigantic cheese."
Archer (2009)
"I told you. I'm not going back there. Well, you say that."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: I'm sorry."
Archer (2009)
"The Omicron Spacemaster."
Archer (2009)
"Splashless urinal cakes have been pretty good to us."
Archer (2009)
"But we can't do any of that "mail somebody a finger" shit--"
Archer (2009)
"What the hell, damn guy?"
Archer (2009)
"Um, dickhead? Takes one to know one."
Archer (2009)
"Ow! Come on, that was right in my fricking ear. Sorry, I know that hurts."
Archer (2009)
"Wow, if the 5-year-old me knew that, he would get a huge boner."
Archer (2009)
"No idea why I said that."
Archer (2009)
"All they have to do-- Who cares why?"
Archer (2009)
"Tending bar. Or not."
Archer (2009)
"You wanna try and make me, Rip? No, I don't."
Archer (2009)
"...so you can forget about getting Carvel. Oh."
Archer (2009)
"Unless you've got Navy SEALs stuffed in your pants--"
Archer (2009)
"Seriously, what the hell, Riley? I didn't know you were making a move."
Archer (2009)
"I kill you."
Archer (2009)
"RILEY: Hey, come on. Happens to me kind of a lot."
Archer (2009)
"Say something before they change their minds."
Archer (2009)
"Manhunter? Now, if that's not the pot calling the kettle black."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, I'm not, I'm a mess. I'm worried half to death about Sterling, and--"
Archer (2009)
"After I shaved and stuff, I took a pretty long nap, so--"
Archer (2009)
"Damn, I can barely hold her level. Want me to help steer or--?"
Archer (2009)
"I think you mean "premature.""
Archer (2009)
"Wait, what? I saved you from a shark, Rip."
Archer (2009)
"Sort of following up on his thing about the middle of nowhere. How?"
Archer (2009)
"Come on, that marriage was doomed. And so are we, if we don't work together here."
Archer (2009)
"No, no, no, we take you back to my island."
Archer (2009)
"I mean, it's gotten to where I had to start sleeping with a fan on."
Archer (2009)
"Whatever. Meaning whom?"
Archer (2009)
"I mean, she-- She can be a steel-clad bitch."
Archer (2009)
"This plane is totally practical."
Archer (2009)
"I doubt that's what Malory had in mind when she gave us the card."
Archer (2009)
"Don't be. I tracked him down. What?"
Archer (2009)
"Name's Rip Riley. Your mother hired me to bring you back, Sterling."
Archer (2009)
"Archer doesn't want to come back, so I don't know how Riley's gonna get him on a plane."
Archer (2009)
"Are you done? Hang on."
Archer (2009)
"Can we have our words, clothes and airplane back?"
Archer (2009)
"Hello, stress. And don't even get me started on my mother."
Archer (2009)
"...I don't eat all those fat, delicious childrens."
Archer (2009)
"CAPTAIN: "Fortress." That is the word. My English so crap."
Archer (2009)
"Wait, what? Yeah."
Archer (2009)
"No, idiot, it changes every time. What is it now?"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, crazy rich. She invented the splashless urinal cake."
Archer (2009)
"The what? What are you--?"
Archer (2009)
"Should I tell them to cancel it, or...? Huh? Uh-- Uh--"
Archer (2009)
"Who doesn't want to be found."
Archer (2009)
"Still what? Alive."
Archer (2009)
"Being looked for by people who don't want to find him."
Archer (2009)
"Outstanding. Riley out."
Archer (2009)
"Wait a minute. Is this a ruse?"
Archer (2009)
"...and when he does, it'll be no thanks to you people..."
Archer (2009)
"If it makes you feel better, I puked most of it up."
Archer (2009)
"Then I'll use a D ration bar and two survival crackers..."
Archer (2009)
"Don't say "rape.""
Archer (2009)
"Looks like an airplane had a baby with a boat. Yeah, I know what a seaplane is."
Archer (2009)
"I mean, the wine's crap, but-- Oh, sorry."
Archer (2009)
"So I bet she'd pay whatever ransom you ask for."
Archer (2009)
"But I have to island-hop to refuel."
Archer (2009)
"And also a bunch of shaving cream and toilet paper. Ha, ha, ha."
Archer (2009)
"No, one pedal fills it with water..."
Archer (2009)
"So excuse me for needing some time to grieve."
Archer (2009)
"I'm Randy, see? So you can just go back to that other guy's mother..."
Archer (2009)
"I didn't run away from home. I'm a grown man."
Archer (2009)
"I think we're gonna be okay. Wait, you didn't put the wheels down."
Archer (2009)
"Ow! I actually have, like, mild tinnitus now."
Archer (2009)
"Well, uh, tell them hands down."
Archer (2009)
"No offense, captain. No, I am who is sorry."
Archer (2009)
"I don't. I'm not really a planner. My process is a little more organic."
Archer (2009)
"Once these idiots figure out they can turn those cannons on the wheelhouse, we're gonna be..."
Archer (2009)
"No. I've got the signal beacon. So?"
Archer (2009)
"Don't ruin your postcoital bliss with a bunch of misplaced guilt."
Archer (2009)
"I'm asking you for the last time to get on that plane."
Archer (2009)
"At least I'm not sky captain of "I ran away from home.""
Archer (2009)
"Hello? Hi, it's the 1930s."
Archer (2009)
"This from million-dollar yacht."
Archer (2009)
"I thought you put it on autopilot. it just maintains course and altitude."
Archer (2009)
"And he hasn't touched any of his bank accounts, so unless he-- Oh."
Archer (2009)
"...then do the Kobe tartare with this '42 Lapin..."
Archer (2009)
"Ha, ha, ha. Is that how you crash a wedding?"
Archer (2009)
"Well, I wouldn't say delighted, but-- I cannot say I miss the bullying."
Archer (2009)
"Barry!"
Archer (2009)
"Uncuff me! Okay. God."
Archer (2009)
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