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Clips from The Office - Conflict Resolution (S02E02)

"I definitely overhear some wedding preparation, but I'm fine with it."
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"So it evens out."
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"Oh, I got the Save-the-Date. Yeah?"
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"but it's my wedding."
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"We're doing ID photos today. Gotta represent."
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"Excuse me."
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"Can you imagine if I was deranged?"
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"And I'm supposed to work there? I'm supposed to..."
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"Since Christmas."
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"So, what, you're having a little spat?"
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"Michael, can I talk to you for a second, please?"
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"Here's how I usually handle this. All I do is listen, you know?"
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"It's like if you write someone a letter when you're really angry,"
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"What do you know about conflict resolution?"
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"Your answer to everything is to get divorced. So..."
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"That was the right decision"
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"Assuming that we don't get downsized."
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"A Mediators Toolchest."
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"Okay. The first style is lose-lose. What's the next one?"
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"You would both lose."
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"and God has a really cute sense of humor."
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"Come on. Seriously, that? I don't like looking at it."
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"who forced the babies into it."
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"Okay, okay, okay. Stop. Stop. Stop."
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"that are win-win. Win."
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"Okay. That is called a compromise."
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"Hey, Angela. I didn't have your zip code."
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"It's not my taste."
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"Well, good. We can throw that one out."
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"I can't do that. You can't do that, huh?"
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"That... Okay."
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"All right. Is that it?"
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"It's all Dwight's."
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"for him to file a grievance against Jim."
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"Why do I have to do everything?"
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"He says Stanley uses his Miracle Whip without asking."
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"Meredith complains that everyone talks too loud in the morning"
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"through March of this year."
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"And did you get what you wanted?"
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"you forget about your problem and you move on?"
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"That is outrageous."
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"Toby, by the way, what does redacted mean?"
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"Yeah. It just means whoever complained came to me later and withdrew it."
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"that were put in the redacted file about six months ago."
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"I volunteer. Did anyone have a problem with me?"
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"All right. Pamela! Come on down!"
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"Let's do it."
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"And... Okay. Just one complaint."
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"I have this kind of big secret about Angela."
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"Ryan never returns my calls. Join the club."
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"Dwight tried to kiss me. What?"
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"Hey, thanks for ratting me out. I didn't do it."
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"in this entire office except Bobblehead Joe."
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"Then why is there a picture of a white man on the door."
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"and that that bugs him."
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"Stanley and I are close, too. We sit close."
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"Just take it."
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"Well, it was redacted."
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"Look, if she wants an invite, maybe she's just trying to be friends."
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"Yeah. Yeah."
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"Okay. Ryan, you told Toby"
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"I know exactly what he's talking about."
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"Solution: Angela, you are to make sexually suggestive remarks to Kevin"
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"that will make him uncomfortable. I accept your decision."
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"Hey, you know what, Dwight? Maybe we should get our photo ID taken together."
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"Perfect."
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"When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life."
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"This came out really well."
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"This is humongous. I am not a security threat."
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"Okay. Calm down. No, you calm down."
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"You know, your ID says you're a security threat."
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"Oh, look, Jim."
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"Transfer. Transfer."
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"Everybody! Transfer! Transfer! Transfer!"
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"Nobody leaves until we work this out."
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"Cage match."
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"Cage matches? Yeah, they work. How could they not work?"
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"This morning I found a bloody glove in my desk drawer,"
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"I think he may be the real murderer."
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"That actually took a while."
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"Every time I typed my name, it said diapers."
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"Yeah. I just moved it an inch every time he went to the bathroom."
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"The Japanese have this thing called shiatsu massage,"
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"I've never had one. They sound awful."
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"Sure you do, Dwight. Sure."
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"Let's get to them later."
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"Hey! Wait. How about a group picture, while you're here?"
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"You mean digital? Yeah. It'll take like two seconds."
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"20 bucks."
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"One, two, three, smile."
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"Try to smile."
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"One, two, three."
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"Okay. All right. One more. Take one more."
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"Okay."
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"It was really hard getting a good picture of 15 people."
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"He would not give me a discount, and eight tries added up."
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"But I'm sort of an expert at Photoshop,"
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"so it turned out fine in the end."
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"You can't outrun your problems."
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"No. 'Cause I'm in a band."
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"Yeah. I mean, it's inevitable."
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"She hears me arranging my social life."
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"And we both have to hear Dwight order deer urine over the Internet."
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"I didn't get mine yet."
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"Oh."
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"There are a few people I decided not to invite,"
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"and that might make things kind of awkward,"
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"And I don't want anyone there who has called me a hussy."
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"Yes, thanks. Fantastic Sams, Adult Cut Plus."
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"Comes with a shampoo and blow-dry."
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"Last year, I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag."
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"I sat at my desk all day"
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"with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch."
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"That's a nice tie."
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"That is... Who makes that? I don't know."
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"Do you mind if I wear that for the photo?"
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"It's like child abuse!"
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"I say, if Jesus saw that, he'd freak out! He'd freak out, Toby!"
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"I mean, on so many levels!"
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"Just letting Oscar vent a little. We would use the break room,"
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