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Clips from Insecure - Insecure as Fuck (S01E01)

"Now, why don't you go home and get you some of that good birthday ass?"
Insecure
"Yes, Lawrence. How you doin' there?"
Insecure
"Actually, I'm thinking about ending things with Lawrence."
Insecure
"I'm sorry, what was that? Did you not just see me"
Insecure
"We don't do anything. Like, there's no excitement."
Insecure
"It's just too comfortable."
Insecure
"Okay, wait. Are you guys fighting or what?"
Insecure
"No, I wish."
Insecure
"Sometimes I wish he'd just slap the shit out of me out of angry passion."
Insecure
"Not really, but kinda."
Insecure
"No, seriously. I'm starting to resent him."
Insecure
"Like, I spent my entire 20s"
Insecure
"with a dude that I'm not even gonna end up with."
Insecure
"Well, I mean, you're still 29."
Insecure
"You got one more year."
Insecure
"- Bitch, you're right. - I know."
Insecure
"I don't have time for the bullshit anymore."
Insecure
"- Wait, what are you saying? - I'm breaking up with him tonight."
Insecure
"- Bitch, no you're not. - Yeah, you're right I'm not."
Insecure
"- 'Course I'm not. - I know you."
Insecure
"- Hey. Happy birthday, babe. - Thank you."
Insecure
"- I bombed the interview. - Jeez, Lawrence."
Insecure
"I... I just got nervous,"
Insecure
"I didn't talk about anything I could bring to the table."
Insecure
"I just spit words out."
Insecure
"I'm sure it wasn't that bad."
Insecure
"No, I literally spit on him, all right?"
Insecure
"Then I spilled hot coffee all over his desk."
Insecure
"Never mind, then."
Insecure
"Hey, I'm sorry for ruining your birthday."
Insecure
"All right? But can we, you know, do a Redbox movie"
Insecure
"and just stay in?"
Insecure
"I promise I'll make it up to you."
Insecure
"Come on, hmm?"
Insecure
"Hmm? Mm-wah! All right, thanks."
Insecure
"Let me finish watching this video and then we can go to 7-Eleven."
Insecure
"Man on TV: You want pecs? You want abs?"
Insecure
"So stop making excuses and do it."
Insecure
"- Make it happen. - It's not gonna happen..."
Insecure
"by sittin' on your ass!"
Insecure
"What did you want to rent?"
Insecure
"- You know what, you pick. - _"
Insecure
"Man: I wish I could come through that screening"
Insecure
"- pump the fuck out of your lazy ass. - _"
Insecure
"And these poor, poor children"
Insecure
"need our guidance more than anything."
Insecure
"They were so intent on not acknowledging"
Insecure
"the burdens that face them every day."
Insecure
"They focused mostly on Issa's love life,"
Insecure
"which I have to say served as a great icebreaker."
Insecure
"(all laugh)"
Insecure
"Ahem, Thomas Jefferson Middle School statistics"
Insecure
"state that 40% will not graduate high school"
Insecure
"and 20% will become teen parents."
Insecure
"(fading) We absolutely have to intervene."
Insecure
"(echoing) Educated black women are highly unlikely to get married"
Insecure
"the more education they have."
Insecure
"On the bright side, many black women are work-focused"
Insecure
"and find happiness in their careers."
Insecure
"- (heart beating) - But, then, there is a small percentage"
Insecure
"of pathetic women who have neither."
Insecure
"You're wrong!"
Insecure
"What is she wrong about, Issa?"
Insecure
"What do you think we need to do"
Insecure
"to help these kids?"
Insecure
"Well, stop treating them like they're all the same, for one."
Insecure
"They already get enough of that."
Insecure
"I think these kids need permission to explore on their own."
Insecure
"Okay, well, where does We Got Y'all fit in?"
Insecure
"Right, uh..."
Insecure
"nothing's gonna change for these kids"
Insecure
"if they're stuck in the same shitty place."
Insecure
"They need to know that there's more out there for them."
Insecure
"on building a program for the kids outside of the school."
Insecure
"Great. Work with Frieda."
Insecure
"Have a proposal to me by Monday."
Insecure
"- All right, Ken and Patricia... - Love it."
Insecure
"...tell me about San Pedro Middle School."
Insecure
"- Ken: Last year, we had black and white. - (phone buzzing)"
Insecure
"We didn't want to spend a lot on the brochures, but..."
Insecure
"_"
Insecure
"- Good job. - Thanks."
Insecure
"Diane: I just was not expecting it!"
Insecure
"I walk in, and, first of all, he was being shady."
Insecure
"All night I had no idea what was going on."
Insecure
"- And I go into the house... - Hey, guys."
Insecure
"(screams)"
Insecure
"Molly, I got engaged. He proposed last night!"
Insecure
"Wow. Oh, my God."
Insecure
"I'm so happy for you."
Insecure
"- Congratulations. - Thank you."
Insecure
"- Finish the story. Finish the story. - Okay, okay."
Insecure
"So, um, okay. So, where was I?"
Insecure
"I walked in and my favorite flowers are, like, everywhere."
Insecure
"And he had these little notes"
Insecure
"that were, like, tied to balloons."
Insecure
"Balloons. Wow, for real?"
Insecure
"Girl, that... that is crazy. Balloons."
Insecure
"Yeah, they were, like, tied to my friends and family... sorry."
Insecure
"- Wow, balloons. - Man: That's insane. You deserve it."
Insecure
"(phone rings)"
Insecure
"Hi, girl."
Insecure
"It is never happening for me."
Insecure
"Diane got engaged."
Insecure
"- To her black boyfriend? - Yes!"
Insecure
"That wife others up with a quickness."
Insecure
"Right? And they don't even have to be that cute."
Insecure
"You know, I'm not trying to be shady, but why does she deserve"
Insecure
"to get married, and I don't?"
Insecure
"Girl, stop. Who says you don't deserve to be married?"
Insecure
"Okay, listen, I promise Jesus isn't conspiring"
Insecure
"against you and your pussy."
Insecure
"- You need to go out tonight. - No."
Insecure
"I'm taking you out. Be ready by 8:00. Bye."
Insecure
"Wait..."
Insecure
"Issa? Issa?"
Insecure
"♪ Lavish, lavish ♪"
Insecure
"♪ Welcome to the life of the rich and the fly ♪"
Insecure
"♪ Got a 9-inch dick that'll fuck your mind up ♪"
Insecure
"♪ I'm a bad-ass kid 'bout to tear shit up... ♪"
Insecure
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