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Clips from Insecure - Insecure as Fuck (S01E01)

"- Are you single? - Uh, I don't think that's appropriate."
Insecure
"Yeah, she's single."
Insecure
"(kids laughing)"
Insecure
"Okay, since you guys are so interested in my personal life,"
Insecure
"here it is... I'm 28, actually 29,"
Insecure
"'cause today's my birthday."
Insecure
"I work in the nonprofit world because I like to give back."
Insecure
"and I did this to my hair on purpose."
Insecure
"So, I hope that covers everything."
Insecure
"Does anybody actually have any questions about We Got Y'all?"
Insecure
"- Why ain't you married? - I'm just not right now."
Insecure
"My dad said ain't nobody checkin'"
Insecure
"for bitter-ass black women anymore."
Insecure
"(mocking) Sorry."
Insecure
"That... that's okay. And tell your dad"
Insecure
"that black women aren't bitter."
Insecure
"They're just tired of being expected to settle for less."
Insecure
"Her outfit settled for less."
Insecure
"(kids laughing)"
Insecure
"Woman's voice: My boss founded a nonprofit"
Insecure
"but she didn't hire anybody from the hood."
Insecure
"I'm torn between the Booker T. method"
Insecure
"and the DuBois method."
Insecure
"for people of color?"
Insecure
"In 2016? That's what you're talking about?"
Insecure
"Woman's voice: I've been here five years and they think"
Insecure
"I'm the token with all the answers."
Insecure
"Let's just ask Issa."
Insecure
"Issa, what's on fleek?"
Insecure
"I don't know what that means."
Insecure
"Issa's voice: I know what that shit means."
Insecure
"But being aggressively passive is what I do best."
Insecure
"I used to keep a journal to vent."
Insecure
"Now I just write raps."
Insecure
"♪ Go, shawty, it's my birthday ♪"
Insecure
"♪ But no one cares because I'm not having a party ♪"
Insecure
"♪ 'Cause I'm feeling sorry for my... self. ♪"
Insecure
"(chimes)"
Insecure
"(music playing)"
Insecure
"♪ I can't help myself ♪"
Insecure
"- ♪ You found my weakest spot... ♪ - _"
Insecure
"♪ Oh, look, nigga, guess you're still single ♪"
Insecure
"♪ Couldn't find another bitch to make your toes tingle ♪"
Insecure
"♪ Hot shit. ♪"
Insecure
"Issa's voice: How different would my life be"
Insecure
"Maybe I'd be more like my best friend, Molly."
Insecure
"She's like the Will Smith of corporate."
Insecure
"So, they want us to be more environmentally responsible."
Insecure
"But it's like, seriously, why do we need trees?"
Insecure
"(all laughing)"
Insecure
"Issa's voice: White people looove Molly."
Insecure
"Black people also looove Molly."
Insecure
"Domino, bitch!"
Insecure
"Wait. You got the LaVinci family to settle?"
Insecure
"- Yep. - No frickin' way. How?"
Insecure
"His inheritance was already guaranteed."
Insecure
"God, that's unbelievable. Please, please teach me your ways."
Insecure
"- (phone chimes) - One day."
Insecure
"I love it."
Insecure
"So sweet. What are you gonna write back?"
Insecure
"I think I'm just gonna call him"
Insecure
"'cause, I mean, hey means I wanna talk, right?"
Insecure
"Yeah, sure, I think it could."
Insecure
"- (phone chimes) - _"
Insecure
"What'd he say?"
Insecure
"He... he must be texting me from a meeting."
Insecure
"You know, he's a product engineer,"
Insecure
"so he's probably engineering shit as we speak."
Insecure
"You know, I do."
Insecure
"We've only been on three dates, but he's so different."
Insecure
"- You know? - Totally."
Insecure
"Me and Jamal are always talking"
Insecure
"about how we're not each other's types,"
Insecure
"but, I don't know, it works."
Insecure
"(laughs) Girl, Jamal is frontin'."
Insecure
"Niggas love Asians and Latinas"
Insecure
"and Indians and white chicks and mixed chicks."
Insecure
"But you know what, if they are not checkin' for me,"
Insecure
"I ain't checkin' for them."
Insecure
"Jamal said I was his first."
Insecure
"We were just going with the flow."
Insecure
"It came out of nowhere, 'cause, personally,"
Insecure
"I thought we were having a good time."
Insecure
"Wait? Whose idea was it to go with the flow?"
Insecure
"Oh, it was mutual."
Insecure
"Mm."
Insecure
"Okay, bitch, it was his, but I was cool with it."
Insecure
"- So, yeah. - Absolutely."
Insecure
"And then he was also, like, calling me every day"
Insecure
"and sending me text messages."
Insecure
"- Oh, damn. - Right?"
Insecure
"Sorry. I'm not looking for a relationship right now."
Insecure
"He did not sad face you. I will slap you right..."
Insecure
"bish... whaat?"
Insecure
"Can we eat? I'm hungry as fuck, okay?"
Insecure
"Have you ever tried, like, the raw meat?"
Insecure
"Not that raw meat, but you know what I'm sayin'."
Insecure
"But, like, the food. (giggles)"
Insecure
"You okay?"
Insecure
"Yeah, girl. You know what, this is your birthday."
Insecure
"I don't wanna make this about me. No."
Insecure
"Girl, stop. What's going on?"
Insecure
"It's, like, it doesn't matter what I do, Issa."
Insecure
"Oh, I didn't think you were into me."
Insecure
"Wait to have sex. Lose interest."
Insecure
"I'm a grown-ass woman. I did not sign up for that bullshit."
Insecure
"I think your pussy's broken."
Insecure
"- What? - No, I read about it."
Insecure
"It's, like, pussies breaking everywhere."
Insecure
"I think your pussy's sad. It's had enough."
Insecure
"And if it could talk, it would make that sad Marge Simpson groan."
Insecure
"(groans)"
Insecure
"Yes, that's it! That's your pussy!"
Insecure
"You're an asshole. Fuck you, Issa."
Insecure
"They're gonna kick us out this restaurant."
Insecure
"- Are you ladies ready? - Uh, no."
Insecure
"Can you give us, like, two minutes?"
Insecure
"- We're just, you know. - All right."
Insecure
"- She not gonna come back for hours. - Her broke pussy talking."
Insecure
"Where's the broken pussy? Choose number four."
Insecure
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