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Clips from Seinfeld - The Maid (S09E09)

"You have 57 messages."
Seinfeld
"Message one."
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"Message two."
Seinfeld
"Hey, it's George. Listen, I-"
Seinfeld
"Message four."
Seinfeld
"Kramer."
Seinfeld
"Hello?"
Seinfeld
"- Well, Cindy, the place looks great. - Thanks, Jerry. Gotta run."
Seinfeld
"Okay, I'll see you."
Seinfeld
"All right."
Seinfeld
"Fooling around with your maid. That is a wise decision."
Seinfeld
"Elaine, do you think I would go willy-nilly into a situation..."
Seinfeld
"...so obviously fraught with potential complications?"
Seinfeld
"You're paying a woman to come to your house and sleep with you."
Seinfeld
"No. I pay her to clean."
Seinfeld
"The rest is-"
Seinfeld
"What? A health plan?"
Seinfeld
"But the point is, we have our personal relationship..."
Seinfeld
"They're separate and I think somewhat sophisticated."
Seinfeld
"- So you consider this a relationship? - Yes, I do."
Seinfeld
"- Where did you go? - The store."
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"- Cleaning supplies? - And gum."
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"...than diddling the maid and then chewing some gum."
Seinfeld
"She's not a maid. She might be a newswoman."
Seinfeld
"Well, I just saw Madeline off."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, she's in a cab and on her way."
Seinfeld
"I miss her already."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Kramer, what was it you were having faxed..."
Seinfeld
"...to my house every 30 seconds?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I signed up for a food delivery service, Now We're Cooking."
Seinfeld
"It's a play on words."
Seinfeld
"You know, they're faxing me the menus from some restaurants."
Seinfeld
"- Which ones? - Well, all of them."
Seinfeld
"That's the deluxe package."
Seinfeld
"- So this is never gonna stop? - Well, it better not."
Seinfeld
"I paid for the whole year."
Seinfeld
"- So should I pick those up later? - You can pick them up right now."
Seinfeld
"I wonder if anyone knows he's here."
Seinfeld
"If he just disappeared..."
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"...would anybody notice?"
Seinfeld
"All right, Miss Benes. All finished. Here's your new number."
Seinfeld
"I thought 646 was just for new numbers."
Seinfeld
"This is a new number."
Seinfeld
"No, no, no. It's not a new number."
Seinfeld
"It's just a changed number."
Seinfeld
"See, it's not different, it's the same, just changed."
Seinfeld
"Look, I work for the phone company."
Seinfeld
"I've had a lot of experience with semantics."
Seinfeld
"So don't try to lure me into some maze of circular logic."
Seinfeld
"You know, I could have killed you and no one would have known."
Seinfeld
"I could have killed you, and no one would have known."
Seinfeld
"Kramer, you're still on the phone?"
Seinfeld
"Madeline and I are watching Quincy together."
Seinfeld
"...as it is does there?"
Seinfeld
"Jerry's teasing."
Seinfeld
"Oh, oh, commercial."
Seinfeld
"Oh, you're going to the bathroom? Yeah, I'll go too."
Seinfeld
"Madeline stays here."
Seinfeld
"Hey, T-Bone."
Seinfeld
"No, no T-Bone."
Seinfeld
"No. There's no T-Bone."
Seinfeld
"Because Neil Watkins from Accounting is T-Bone."
Seinfeld
"All right."
Seinfeld
"Oh, hey, listen, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"Laundry's piling up there. You might wanna tell your girlfriend."
Seinfeld
"Your girlfriend is doing your laundry?"
Seinfeld
"He's sleeping with his maid."
Seinfeld
"I've done that."
Seinfeld
"- Did you ever eat an ostrich burger? - No."
Seinfeld
"No, I'm not. Here you go."
Seinfeld
"- Six-four-six? - It's a new area code."
Seinfeld
"What area? New Jersey?"
Seinfeld
"And then they added one to the middle number."
Seinfeld
"It's the same."
Seinfeld
"Do I have to dial a 1 first?"
Seinfeld
"I'm really kind of seeing somebody."
Seinfeld
"Yeah? Well, so am I."
Seinfeld
"It's T-Bone."
Seinfeld
"The thing is, I'm supposed to be T-Bone."
Seinfeld
"You're not a T-Bone. You're a perfect George."
Seinfeld
"What? Now, you listen to me."
Seinfeld
"He's jumping up and down like some kind of monkey."
Seinfeld
"Hey, what was the name of that-"
Seinfeld
"That monkey that could read sign language?"
Seinfeld
"All right, you can have T-Bone. Stop crying."
Seinfeld
"I'm not crying."
Seinfeld
"And I shouldn't have said that about your wife."
Seinfeld
"Please accept my apologies."
Seinfeld
"Okay, everybody, I have an announcement to make."
Seinfeld
"From now on, I will be known as-"
Seinfeld
"Koko, the monkey."
Seinfeld
"- What? - Koko."
Seinfeld
"Did something happen to Mrs. Krantz?"
Seinfeld
"- Oh, I'm so sorry. - Thank you."
Seinfeld
"...did she by any chance have a 212 phone number?"
Seinfeld
"I can't find my earring."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, it's in your closet. - No, no, no. I looked."
Seinfeld
"- Thanks, buddy. - Where you going?"
Seinfeld
"I'm getting out of town. I'm gonna visit Madeline for the weekend."
Seinfeld
"This place is looking kind of messy. What happened to Cindy?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, she's here. She's just didn't get around to it."
Seinfeld
"Hi, Kramer."
Seinfeld
"Thanks, Jerry. Bye."
Seinfeld
"Well, what's the matter?"
Seinfeld
"What did I just pay for?"
Seinfeld
"You're a john."
Seinfeld
"Well, it's probably the most intelligent ape there is."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"So how's Cindy the maid?"
Seinfeld
"Everything's going great, except basically, I'm paying for sex."
Seinfeld
"Tell me about it. I went out with a girl last week."
Seinfeld
"She's coming over and not cleaning. It's like I'm seeing a prostitute."
Seinfeld
"- How much you pay this maid? - Forty."
Seinfeld
"Forty? I'm paying 60 to my maid."
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"She doesn't do laundry and I'm getting nothing."
Seinfeld
"- All right. - Once she pinched my ass..."
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"...but I don't know what that was."
Seinfeld
"Hey, hey, hey."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, you wouldn't believe what it's like down there."
Seinfeld
"Taxi cab drivers are insane. You know, everybody is in a hurry."
Seinfeld
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