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Clips from The Detour - The Birth (S02E02)

"I got you your own copy, mi amigo."
The Detour
"Sorry it had to come to this."
The Detour
"It's about time."
The Detour
"Am I a bastard yet or what?"
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"Give me her name! I've asked you for hours on end."
The Detour
"- That sounds great. - Fine."
The Detour
"and put Shrek's feet on."
The Detour
"and you squish it all down at the bottom?"
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"What's up, Gene?"
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"Who's Pedro?"
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"Some dumb-ass Mexican. I don't know."
The Detour
"So you're rich? Famous?"
The Detour
"What?"
The Detour
"- No! - She's probably deaf."
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"Hey, this guy's Nate, too! Two Nates!"
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"Baby! She's having a baby!"
The Detour
"You have 19 new messages."
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"Seriously?!"
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"- Let's go! - Okay, let's go."
The Detour
"Hear that, Double D's? I'm coming for you, babies?"
The Detour
"Owwww!"
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"Hello, Robin."
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"No, no, no, no. I want to wait for their dad to get here."
The Detour
"Who's he supposed to be?"
The Detour
"Damn it."
The Detour
"- Get off. Get off. Get off. - I'm sitting on it."
The Detour
"Hey! Hey!"
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"Oh, screw you, man. It's my bike."
The Detour
"- Ohh! - I'm so sorry."
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"- I'm sorry. - It's okay."
The Detour
"Oh, look at my son."
The Detour
"Think about it, Nate."
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"Hey! If you ever look at my son on the potty, I will break you."
The Detour
"Besides, the Double D's aren't coming early, okay?"
The Detour
"Don Cherry Parker."
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"I got a baby on the way... two of them."
The Detour
"I'm Nate! Hey, he said my name!"
The Detour
"Get out of the way... now!"
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"Could be."
The Detour
"Aaah-ha-ha ow!"
The Detour
"I'm coming, babies! I'm coming for you!"
The Detour
"That Syrian man taught me so much about me, my body..."
The Detour
"I do. I do."
The Detour
"- I love "Jared." - You do?"
The Detour
"I have a son!"
The Detour
"The girl, as I suspected, she's not mine."
The Detour
"It's supposed to be scary, okay?"
The Detour
"Whoo!"
The Detour
"Nate!"
The Detour
"Hope to see you there."
The Detour
"I'll just... I'll hold it."
The Detour
"It's my bike. I just forgot the combo for the lock."
The Detour
"- Wait! That's my bike! - Yeah, next time,"
The Detour
"No. No. No, no! Please."
The Detour
"Judge, I got a DNA test in a sealed thing here."
The Detour
"- What? No, come on. It's cute. - It's gross."
The Detour
"Scared the shit out of me!"
The Detour
"I hate Halloween."
The Detour
"No, no. It's okay, it's okay."
The Detour
"It's a lot scarier with it plugged in, but..."
The Detour
"Founding mother of birth control?"
The Detour
"You are such a..."
The Detour
"I couldn't find a cab."
The Detour
"Yeah, I know. I know. But he looks so much like me."
The Detour
"Oh, shoot. Oh, baby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
The Detour
"No! You did not just fall asl..."
The Detour
"It's from some dumb-ass movie these kids all think is funny."
The Detour
"No! Stop!"
The Detour
"It's time for these babies to come out."
The Detour
"Buddy! Hey!"
The Detour
"No, it's a Goddamn artery!"
The Detour
"- They're like their dad. - It's true."
The Detour
"I was 11... innocent but curious."
The Detour
"You can cut the bullshit babe-in-the-woods routine."
The Detour
"Cut... the Goddamn cuffs."
The Detour
"Aaah! Oh!"
The Detour
"Mm, oxygen is not getting to the boy's brain."
The Detour
"I'm sorry. Do you know this man?"
The Detour
"He's too fat to be fake."
The Detour
"Yeah, it's hilarious, right?"
The Detour
"Hey, did you know, these seats, they recline?"
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"What the hell is this?"
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"Listen to me... He is not your son."
The Detour
"Look, you need official proof, Mr. Camacho."
The Detour
"Sexy Muslim Santa Claus?"
The Detour
"a parenthood right now."
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"It suits you so well."
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"She went home. She's got school tomorrow."
The Detour
"It doesn't make any sense,"
The Detour
"'cause I never drive without my driving gloves."
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"I'm a side sleeper. He's a side sleeper."
The Detour
"Is she, like, missing a leg or something?"
The Detour
"Hey, you like this getup, or what?"
The Detour
"I..."
The Detour
"All right, drink up! It's Halloween!"
The Detour
"That's not how ambulances work, buddy. Call a cab."
The Detour
"It's so true."
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"I d... I did. They're so busy tonight."
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"I had one drink. I swear."
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"I don't care. I don't care. I'm just glad you're here."
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"He reads his phone on the potty. I read my phone on the potty."
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"What the hell is your problem, pal?"
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"Relax... ing with candy is what you should be doing"
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"Hi. It's me. Sorry. I didn't know who else to call."
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"- Yeah, let's go! - I need your keys, though, okay?"
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"This vehicle's for transporting sick and injured only."
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"Sorry, nanita."
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"It's not! It's mine! I stole it!"
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"Yeah."
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"so... hey, I know... don't go out."
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"No! It's a public bench!"
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"You're gonna be a terrible father."
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"Is that real or fake?"
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"Get some candy."
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"I just want my babies to meet a sober, vibrant man"
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"It's one drink! I promise!"
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"- Boo! - Oh, Jesus Christ!"
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