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Clips from The Office - Weight Loss (S05E05)

"From this point forward, you will not use the bathroom."
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"This summer, corporate is sponsoring"
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"Whichever branch loses the most weight"
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"gets three extra vacation days."
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"I'm taking my dumplings."
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"Right on that black platform. This way. Step it up."
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"the first time Angela sees me naked."
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"Okay, everybody, get used to this,"
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"You all need to learn some portion control."
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"All right, got it. 2,210 pounds."
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"I mean, not... Not close to 200."
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"Yeah."
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"All I had this weekend to eat"
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"Here's what I used to look like."
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"(DOOR OPENS)"
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"Did you see Holly's butt?"
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"Because most of the time, friends don't talk about other friends' butts."
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"I... I know."
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"But what have you learned about her?"
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"I learned that she has read Lonesome Dove three times."
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"I just said it because I haven't had much luck lately"
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"You have a cell phone charger?"
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"I have everything."
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"Under my Angerela"
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"Pam! Pam! Hey."
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"I took a lot from other poems."
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"And Pam's always said she doesn't want a long engagement."
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"Dunder Mifflin. This is Ronni."
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"JIM: I don't really know Ronni."
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"Sorry I'm late. I accidently switched my alarm clock setting"
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"No, I just... Please sit down."
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"I am on the third day of my cleanse diet."
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"I just bought some bikinis online, size two. So..."
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"Hi, can I help you?"
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"Good to see you. Who's your daddy?"
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"No, you don't. Come on. Let's go in."
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"he led us to believe that he was the father,"
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"Hey, Oscar."
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"That's his ex."
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"Yeah, she is. And clinically insane."
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"Okay."
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"Thank you, Holly."
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"Wait, back up."
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"I'm sorry."
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"since my little lady has such particular, impossible-to-perceive taste,"
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"scuba diving wedding in the Bahamas"
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"Hurry, we have to make this fast."
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"All right, I am connecting."
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"Lunch with a girl from my hall. Uh-huh."
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"I'm trying to get some work done."
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"Pam! Say hi! Say hi to Pam!"
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"a beam of light in this dark, dark office."
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"(WHISPERING) Not really so much."
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"colored paperclips that I like so much."
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"We are following Pam to the supply shelf."
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"Still good. You guys lost a pound."
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"I was on an IV for two days at the hospital."
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"Yes, I've replaced Angela as head of the Party Planning Committee."
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"I once went 28 years without having sex."
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"And then again for seven years."
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"we are all going to die of obesity."
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"So how much are we going to lose?"
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"No. My doctor wants me to gain weight."
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"How? How are we going to do this?"
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"I don't want you to end up with a surprise pregnancy like me."
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""There has to be a rainbow,"
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"on top of a monsoon."
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"All I care about is that we're going to"
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"spend the rest of our lives together."
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"(EXCLAIMS)"
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"Does anyone want to dance?"
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"crying about her roommate stealing her soy milk."
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"I don't like cake anymore."
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"You know what we should do?"
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"We should have a party and not invite them."
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"Yeah?"
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"Not that guy who murdered his mother."
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"Also Kevin. You know what?"
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"We're pretty much done here today."
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"Wish me luck. Good luck."
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"Holly doesn't need luck."
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"DWIGHT: Party's over! You're so busted!"
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"You said fruit, Michael."
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"The bad news is, we're not doing very well,"
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"we may actually get a whole month off."
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"What? Oh, nothing."
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"It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me"
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"That wasrt a tapeworm."
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"RYAN: That's really funny. Yeah."
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"Jim!"
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"I've even started volunteering, giving back to the community."
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"I don't need a judge to tell me to keep my community clean."
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"All right. All right."
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"This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life."
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"I got a red wine stain on my favorite shirt."
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"You sabotaged me."
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"You sabotaged me, man!"
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"We only have a few weeks left"
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"and most of you are just as fat as the day we began."
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"How much weight have you lost, Dwight?"
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"Um..."
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"I was in my mid-20s and I was going through a lot of stuff."
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"Pick me up around 8:00?"
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"(STAMMERING)"
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"Listen, I'm really sorry about what I said before."
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"But you know what? I want to make it up to you."
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"(SIGHS)"
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"(SIGHS)"
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"Dieting is only half of it. Mmm-hmm. Saunas."
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"And exercise."
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"Although I know everybody loves going to the gym."
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"Oh, my God."
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"My ex-girlfriend, she's right behind you."
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"Really? Where? Just hide me."
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"Actually, kind of, yes."
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"I just didn't like eating dinner that early."
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"What happened?"
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"Yeah, I took your purse. What are you worried about?"
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"Why, hello, everybody."
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"I'm so glad that I bought instead of rented."
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