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Clips from King of the Hill - Jumpin' Crack Bass (S02E02)

"You'll show me how to catch a wide-mouthed bass with a rock of crack."
King of the Hill
"Well, hold on a second."
King of the Hill
"You see, the fish won't take the bait anymore."
King of the Hill
"- The ecosystem is changed and... - I've made my ruling."
King of the Hill
"Either you reel one in tomorrow, or the two of you..."
King of the Hill
"are gonna spend the next 24 months making Texas State license plates."
King of the Hill
"No, sir, Your Honor."
King of the Hill
"I'm making progress here. I can feel it."
King of the Hill
"Hold on to her, Dale. Don't let her go."
King of the Hill
"- Thank you, Lord. - Well, I'll be!"
King of the Hill
"Looks like you boys were telling the truth after all."
King of the Hill
"- Gribble, this fish is frozen. - I caught it. That's my position."
King of the Hill
"You obviously bought this at a grocery store."
King of the Hill
"You try something like that again, I'll double your sentence."
King of the Hill
"why the hell did you buy a frozen bass?"
King of the Hill
"I had a coupon."
King of the Hill
"All right. Five more minutes and that's it."
King of the Hill
"I got to be at a lethal injection by midnight."
King of the Hill
"Get your butt off the cooler, Duke. His Honor wants a pudding."
King of the Hill
"Hank, don't do it."
King of the Hill
"I'm not cheating now, Dale."
King of the Hill
"Using cheater bait was cheating."
King of the Hill
"I got greedy."
King of the Hill
"I'm no better than that lazy greaseball who tried to steal my truck."
King of the Hill
"Let's face the facts. We're going to prison."
King of the Hill
"Well, time's up. Start rowing, Duke."
King of the Hill
"That's it! I'm going fishing."
King of the Hill
"Dad, who is gonna take care of me?"
King of the Hill
"Somebody's trying to steal my truck. Hey! Get out of there!"
King of the Hill
"You ain't going nowhere. I'm placing you under citizen's arrest."
King of the Hill
"Rights?"
King of the Hill
"What the..."
King of the Hill
"Finally, a judge with some common sense."
King of the Hill
"Dad, what are you looking for? Are you looking for chicken?"
King of the Hill
"- It's right here. Chicken. - I'm looking for my dang fishing shears."
King of the Hill
"Why don't you guys call that stuff Cheater bait."
King of the Hill
"Dang, Boomhauer! She's a beauty."
King of the Hill
"Say, "Cheese to meet you.""
King of the Hill
"Okay, catch and release. Time to throw her back."
King of the Hill
"Give you something to do."
King of the Hill
"You guys may be catching fish..."
King of the Hill
"- You looking to go for a swim, Bill? - No."
King of the Hill
"So, we're all meeting at the pharmacy to get aloe vera for Bill's back."
King of the Hill
"I'm going trout of business. I can't compete with the Mega Lo Mart."
King of the Hill
"Maybe vanilla."
King of the Hill
"Well, I got $20."
King of the Hill
"Come on, darling. Time to get wet."
King of the Hill
"It's kind of starting to bother me."
King of the Hill
"- I'll have what he's having. - Dale? What are you doing here?"
King of the Hill
"This is all my fault. I got you started on that ginseng tea..."
King of the Hill
"Next case. Misters Gribble and Hill."
King of the Hill
"This must be a typo."
King of the Hill
"We've already tried to cheat. He'll double our sentence."
King of the Hill
"She ain't pretty, but she's a bass all right! You're free to go."
King of the Hill
"I also have the authority to kick your ass..."
King of the Hill
"If I don't get out on the lake..."
King of the Hill
"All right, fella, there you go. Tell your friends:"
King of the Hill
"Well, thanks."
King of the Hill
"but the bottom line is still the same."
King of the Hill
"Like, remember that time I started building you a clubhouse..."
King of the Hill
"Now, don't get me wrong, Jack."
King of the Hill
"Now, there's a man who loves to fish."
King of the Hill
"She's the most beautiful fish I ever caught, I tell you what!"
King of the Hill
"Yep, I'm bothered. I had better get on the lake."
King of the Hill
"Nice to see you again, Mr. Hill. I assume you are the arresting citizen."
King of the Hill
"is sitting in the boat for five hours doing nothing."
King of the Hill
"Why don't you call first?"
King of the Hill
"You just said you had a little left."
King of the Hill
"or that pushy gal that's trying to get into the Citadel..."
King of the Hill
"v. Layaway Ray's bait shop."
King of the Hill
"I hate Mega Lo Mart. People go there just to save a nickel..."
King of the Hill
"Hey, G!"
King of the Hill
"And all we'll have to dream about is the last time we went fishing."
King of the Hill
"He."
King of the Hill
"- They spit it out like poison. I don't get it. - I get it."
King of the Hill
"You don't think about taxes or traffic..."
King of the Hill
"Oh, great!"
King of the Hill
"I want to express the court's appreciation to Mr. Hank Hill..."
King of the Hill
"You were holding my truck for evidence."
King of the Hill
"Oh, yeah. Check it out."
King of the Hill
"- Were you abused as a child? - What? No!"
King of the Hill
"I followed you. Every twist and every turn."
King of the Hill
"Not my President. I voted for Dole."
King of the Hill
"quite successfully I might add, as fish bait."
King of the Hill
"some illegal substances, but I was using them..."
King of the Hill
"I'm willing to give you a chance to prove you're not a liar."
King of the Hill
"Fidelity Mutual Insurance..."
King of the Hill
"Dale, you giblet-head, if you were gonna cheat..."
King of the Hill
""Plenty more where that came from.""
King of the Hill