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Clips from Haters Back Off! - Preeching 2 the Chior (S01E01)

"I really need to talk to him. I think... [sighs]"
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"I think Miranda is falling for another guy."
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"Well, you know, Uncle Jim is the first person I think of"
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"for dating advice too, but he's not here."
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"Don't worry, I'm not gonna... touch anything. [chuckles]"
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"[Bethany] Okay, Emily."
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"Is this a show-stopper?"
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"Yes."
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"because I'm gonna wear it tonight for singles night."
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"Why? What's wrong with it?"
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"It's just a little too revealing."
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"But it's a turtleneck, and it's... It's..."
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"No, I just mean it reveals a little too much about your home life."
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"So should I put a scarf with it? Or, like, a hat?"
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"Do whatever you want, Mom."
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"I cannot hold a thought in my head."
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"So... [clears throat]"
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"I've made these conversation cards in case I get tongue-tied."
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"You know what, Emily? Never mind. I'm gonna go practice."
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"Thank you. Thank you."
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"[laughs] "What? Oh, a little bit about me?"
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"I was married once."
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"because I never had the glory moment."
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"- But if not, that's okay, too... " - Nope, nope, nope."
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"Mom, you cannot say that."
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"Um, okay. What about this?"
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"Um... "Keith, does your family have a history of genetic diseases?""
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"- Okay, let me see these cards. - [sighs]"
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"Well, then what am I supposed to say?"
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"Will you go with me?"
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"I am your daughter. I am not going to singles night with you."
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"[groans] Fine. I'll just do it on my own."
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"Mom, wait up."
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"- how's it going, my main man? - Whoa."
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"- No. No, man! - Okay."
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"I have a ton of high-quality collectible items for purchase,"
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"but I gotta warn you, cash only."
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"- You got it. - Why don't you step into my office?"
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"Boom!"
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"A dead fern?"
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"I'm pretty sure if you water it, it'll come back to life."
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"[EliteCollector423] A picture of a naked baby in an eggshell?"
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"Yes, I also have pictures of clothed babies, if you're interested."
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"You said you had a bunch of vintage '80s stuff."
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"This is all worthless."
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"There's gotta be something in here I can sell you."
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"[gasps] What about this..."
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"[stammers] Please, don't take that off, man."
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"I've had this car since I was 18. I grew up in this car."
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"I fell in and out of love in this car."
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"I experienced beauty and pain, and a spiritual awakening."
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"- I'll give you 500 bucks. - Sold! No take-backs!"
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"I got kicked out of the freaking choir! Where's Mom?"
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"- Oh, she's not here. - [grunts]"
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"Uh... But I am, if you wanna... talk."
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"- Uh... [chuckles nervously] - [knocking on door]"
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"What? [sobs]"
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"But... [stutters] if it makes you feel any better..."
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"I think your singing voice is beautiful,"
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"and pure, and anyone would be lucky to hear it."
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"Well, that's because you're smart."
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"And... I also know..."
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"that sometimes, when two people are meant to be together..."
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"it doesn't matter what obstacles are in their way. They just..."
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"They have to fight through and find a way to make it work."
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"You're right, Patrick."
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"I'm gonna go back to that church, sing my heart out for Owen,"
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"and make him fall in love with me."
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"Uh... Uh..."
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"[gasps] Oh, my goodness, it's so beautiful!"
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"Oh..."
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"Is this dress too revealing for church?"
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"[Bethany gasps] There's Keith."
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"- There he is! He's in the blue suit. - Oh, wow."
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"- He's running. - [Bethany] Oh."
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"[chuckles] Bethany, you made it."
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"- [laughs] Hey. - Hi!"
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"[chuckles nervously] Um..."
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""Good evening, Keith."
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"Yes. Okay, sorry, that was a bad one. "Have you... ""
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"Oh. [chuckles] Oh, my pleasure to meet you, Emily."
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"- [chuckles] Oh. - And her weak posture. How about that?"
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"[chuckles] Well, would either of you care for some Blood of Christ fruit punch?"
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"Oh, yes, thank you."
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"[Keith] Yes, amen."
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"I'm good. I'm on a blood-free diet."
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"- [Bethany] Oh. - [chuckles] Oh."
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"Well, uh, the music should be starting up soon."
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"The choir has prepared some hymns for us to jam out to. [chuckles]"
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"Oh, no, my daughter will be here."
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"Don't let Miranda ruin this for you."
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"Miranda? Don't have to worry about her."
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"[chuckles] Yeah, she decided it would be best"
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"- Really? - Yeah. Very big of her."
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"Really?"
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"Well, I think so, too."
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"- Yes. - [chuckles] Come with us."
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"Okay. All right."
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"- Are you good? - Go have fun. I'm good."
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"♪ Hallelujah ♪"
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"♪ Earth and heaven in chorus say ♪"
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"♪ Hallelujah ♪"
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"♪ Hallelujah ♪"
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"- Hi, guys. Stop singing, please. - [feedback]"
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"It's about to get even better."
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"from my heart to yours."
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"♪ Don't you wish your girlfriend Was hot like me? ♪"
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"♪ Don't you wish your girlfriend Was a freak like me? ♪"
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"♪ Don't you... ♪"
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"[vocalizing]"
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"♪ Don't you... ♪ [vocalizing]"
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"Mom? What're you doing with him?"
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"That's the guy who kicked me out of the choir!"
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"Okay, well, Miranda, I can explain. We were..."
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"[Miranda] Okay, why are you even here?"
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"- Look, Miranda, you need to leave. - What are you doing?"
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"Get your stinking hands off of me!"
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"You're ruining the whole night for everyone."
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"[scoffs] Me?"
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"Look who's talking,"
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