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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Maternal Congruence (S03E03)

"The one from whom I live across the hall from."
The Big Bang Theory
"Oh, well, that's convenient. How did his penis turn out?"
The Big Bang Theory
"Oh, Beverly, I can't talk to my boyfriend's mother about his penis."
The Big Bang Theory
"Oh, fair enough."
The Big Bang Theory
"What can you tell me, if anything, about that busboy's penis?"
The Big Bang Theory
"One more time."
The Big Bang Theory
"You know, Leonard did not wanna tell you we were dating."
The Big Bang Theory
"Really? That means he's either embarrassed by the relationship..."
The Big Bang Theory
"...or he doesn't care enough about his mother to tell her he's in one."
The Big Bang Theory
"Either way, one of us should be insulted."
The Big Bang Theory
"I'm gonna slip my business card into that busboy's back pocket..."
The Big Bang Theory
"...cupping his firm right buttock as I do so."
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"- Leonard? - Sonny boy."
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"What the hell is going on?"
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"You're In trouble."
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"Why didn't you tell me you were tapping my homegirl?"
The Big Bang Theory
"- Did I say that right? - Yeah. Not bad, not bad."
The Big Bang Theory
"Are you guys drunk?"
The Big Bang Theory
"Well, I hope so. Otherwise, why would we have stopped at Del Taco?"
The Big Bang Theory
"Now, how could you not tell me you were in a relationship..."
The Big Bang Theory
"...with this lovely, charming young woman?"
The Big Bang Theory
"- Heh, heh. Thank you. - You're welcome."
The Big Bang Theory
"Is it because she's uneducated, trapped in a menial service position?"
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"What the hell happened to lovely and charming?"
The Big Bang Theory
"How come you didn't tell me that you and Father were getting a divorce?"
The Big Bang Theory
"How come you didn't tell me you had surgery?"
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"How come you didn't tell me my dog died?"
The Big Bang Theory
"What I hear you saying..."
The Big Bang Theory
"I do."
The Big Bang Theory
"There. It's late. Now, go to bed."
The Big Bang Theory
"I'm getting a warm feeling spreading through my heart."
The Big Bang Theory
"Why is Leonard softly banging his head against his bedroom door?"
The Big Bang Theory
"Speaking of warm feelings..."
The Big Bang Theory
"Come here."
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"No, I'd rather have the busboy."
The Big Bang Theory
"Thank you for taking me to the airport."
The Big Bang Theory
"You're very welcome."
The Big Bang Theory
"Once again, I'm driving. I'm right here."
The Big Bang Theory
"Please, I am very hung-over..."
The Big Bang Theory
"...and in no mood to satisfy your need for approval."
The Big Bang Theory
"Sheldon, I do hope you forgive me for my inappropriate behavior last night."
The Big Bang Theory
"I don't blame you."
The Big Bang Theory
"- You were intoxicated. - Thank you."
The Big Bang Theory
"I blame Penny."
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"I blame Penny too. Bad Penny."
The Big Bang Theory
"Wait a minute, what are you talking about? What inappropriate behavior?"
The Big Bang Theory
"Agreed."
The Big Bang Theory
"What the hell, agreed."
The Big Bang Theory
"- Aw. Thank you, Beverly. - You're welcome."
The Big Bang Theory
"She doesn't have much in the way of career prospects."
The Big Bang Theory
"Don't make her responsible for her own orgasms as well."
The Big Bang Theory
"Remember when I was complaining that you don't communicate with me enough?"
The Big Bang Theory
"- Yes, dear. - I'm over it."
The Big Bang Theory
"Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la."
The Big Bang Theory
"Um..."
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"I've been responsible for my own orgasms since 1982."
The Big Bang Theory
"...known as Sheldon Alpha Five."
The Big Bang Theory
"- Thank you, that's very comforting. - That's not the comforting part."
The Big Bang Theory
"That's the Del Taco."
The Big Bang Theory
"Why? I'm not marrying her."
The Big Bang Theory
"Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on Earth."
The Big Bang Theory
"Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la."
The Big Bang Theory
"Excuse me, it's much more Christmassy than anything you've put on the tree."
The Big Bang Theory
"I see."
The Big Bang Theory
"September 22nd."
The Big Bang Theory
"- I think it's best that you not know. - Agreed."
The Big Bang Theory