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Clips from The Boondocks (2005) - A Date with the Health Inspector (S01E01)

"Yeah, baby."
The Boondocks (2005)
"See how I'm all clean and glistening and shit."
The Boondocks (2005)
"That's hygiene, nigga."
The Boondocks (2005)
"Drop the soap again?"
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"At the tender age of 10, Tom saw a prison movie,"
The Boondocks (2005)
"it'll most likely occur in prison."
The Boondocks (2005)
"Hey, file-sharing is a crime,"
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"is really causing both of us to miss out on a lot in life."
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"That fear, perhaps more than any other factor,"
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"Tom believed in order."
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"He obeyed every traffic law."
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"He had never as much as broken the speed limit."
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"Tom grew up to be a criminal prosecutor,"
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"For the crime of selling four bootleg copies of Soul Plane,"
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"I don't want to be anally raped!"
The Boondocks (2005)
"... in a court of law."
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"If you cannot afford..."
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"Could it be a hijacking? Absolutely possible."
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"Terrorists have my daddy!"
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"And he isn't here!"
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"And we're at terror alert level orange. Orange!"
The Boondocks (2005)
"You guys were playing your little game,"
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"and your friend was serving up some pipin' hot"
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"You don't wanna know what they'll do to me in jail."
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"They'll rape you, that's what they're gonna do."
The Boondocks (2005)
"Hold on."
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"Listen, they can't keep people in holding"
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"Well, it's just a weekend."
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"is if you find the real killer tonight."
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"Please!"
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"her daddy was somebody's bi-hi-hi-hi-tch."
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"Let's go."
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"I was just making some breakfast. Come on in."
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"I'll leave his whole block"
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"And you know why?"
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"Hey, hey, hey."
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"I promise you you won't go to jail."
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"So you say that if I confess, I won't go to jail?"
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"No anal rape?"
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"What did you do?"
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"We was looking for weapons of mass destruction."
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"and that wasn't enough for me."
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"does not mean that you have evidence"
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"What country you from? What?"
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"They speak English in "What"?"
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"What?"
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"So you understand the words I'm sayin' to you?"
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"things we don't know that we don't know."
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"What?"
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"I dare you!"
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"Well, this is the apartment building where it all happened."
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"Maybe someone saw something."
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"Hey, slow down. We gotta be tactful."
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"Tactful? What that mean?"
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"Yeah, nigga, run it. Run your shit!"
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"Ain't nobody seen nothin'."
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"I know who did the killing. I've known for 20 minutes!"
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"He's been bragging about it all day."
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"We talked to people!"
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"Where you get this?"
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"while y'all was whoopin' niggas' asses in the street."
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"right up the street."
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"We're right down the street. We know where he is!"
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"Chill, we just making a little detour."
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"Hm."
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"Watch my back, I got your front."
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"Whoa, wait a minute, now."
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"Gun? What gun? I'm not holding gun."
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"Guys, it's me, Ed. Your father helped me build this store!"
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"I don't know you, motherfucker!"
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"There is no weapon. Look."
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"Good. Now, we all see the weapon."
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"He is not holding a weapon! Time's up!"
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"It was an "unknown" unknown."
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"criticize a robbery plan during a actual robbery."
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"Well, I want you to know"
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"You hear that, you sweaty bastards?"
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"Freddy ain't dead."
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"Bring it!"
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"Today we all came face to face with our worst fears."
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"No bus. You're free to go."
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"All right!"
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"All right, come on! All right!"
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"Go U.S.A. All right!"
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"♪ I am the stone The builder refused ♪"
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"♪ I am the visual The inspiration ♪"
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"♪ I'm the spark That makes your idea bright ♪"
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"♪ I am the ballot in your box The bullet in the gun ♪"
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"♪ The story that just begun ♪"
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"♪ Chop, chop, chop Judo flip ♪"
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"No."
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"No, not me."
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"Yeah."
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"We don't waste no motherfuckin' soap in here."
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"I'm- I'm finished."
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"Naw, naw, nigga, you ain't finished."
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"You have?"
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"You ain't wash behind your ears or nothing."
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"You can call me the health inspector."
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"Now, pick up the soap!"
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"Be brave, son. Be brave."
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"Tom DuBois' greatest fear"
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"was being sent to prison and anally raped."
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"Stop! Ah!"
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"It is true that, statistically speaking,"
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"if a man is to be raped,"
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"But what if we get caught?"
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"We'll get arrested and anally raped."
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"Hey, guys, what are you doing?"
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"Just smoking a joint."
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"You want a hit?"
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"Yeah, right."
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"Tom, did you erase all my MP3s?"
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"and I'm not gonna be anally raped,"
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"so you can listen to Usher."
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"You know, Tom, this whole "anal rape" thing"
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"But Tom didn't care what he was missing out on."
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"around the fear of anal rape."
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"made him the man he is today."
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"which, ironically enough, meant his job was to send"
The Boondocks (2005)
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