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Clips from Scrubs - My Half-Acre (S05E05)

"sometimes it is just too much."
Scrubs
"Yeah, yeah. I'm not buying it."
Scrubs
"You've been putting up with that around here for 20 years."
Scrubs
"It's not just here. It's home."
Scrubs
"You shouldn't sweat this "sensitive dad" stuff. You'll get there."
Scrubs
"You don't know anything."
Scrubs
"Oh, really? How is it going with your Jehovah's Witness patient?"
Scrubs
"How do you know that I can be that kind of dad?"
Scrubs
"- Because I know you. - Because I know you."
Scrubs
"'Cause I know him."
Scrubs
"What's happening? Dr. Cox didn't make eye holes!"
Scrubs
"[# Boston: More Than a Feelin']"
Scrubs
"[J.D.] You might get the confidence to be the father you want to be."
Scrubs
"[J.D.] Sometimes, it's fun to not listen and do whatever you want."
Scrubs
"So we bought it."
Scrubs
"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go kiss my lady on my new half-acre."
Scrubs
"[More Than a Feelin' continues]"
Scrubs
"Lloyd, slammin' solo, but I have to ask, how's things with the drug problem?"
Scrubs
"Three days sober."
Scrubs
"Excellence."
Scrubs
"Anyway, for me to be set up with your niece,"
Scrubs
"Me too! Do you ever, like, drift off and have weird fantasies?"
Scrubs
"What?"
Scrubs
"he would miss when he threw bottles at my head."
Scrubs
"You are gonna be a much better dad than your dad was."
Scrubs
"You're crazy!"
Scrubs
"OK."
Scrubs
"so you would tell him what an amazing doctor he is."
Scrubs
"I don't care if it got you laid once in high school."
Scrubs
"But most importantly,"
Scrubs
"You are such a good kisser, J.D."
Scrubs
"[Laughing] No, he won't."
Scrubs
"- Seriously? - Nah, while you were in the bathroom,"
Scrubs
"[J.D.] Looking at her, I knew what the future held for Julie and me."
Scrubs
"[# Five for Fighting: 100 Years]"
Scrubs
"That way if one of us dies in a tragic skiing accident,"
Scrubs
"I'm really glad I found you."
Scrubs
"- [Growls] - [Instrument crashing]"
Scrubs
"[J.D.] When you care about something,"
Scrubs
"What are you going to do with our Jehovah's Witness?"
Scrubs
"I'm not gonna do anything."
Scrubs
"I would say she's probably going to die."
Scrubs
"Behind your ear."
Scrubs
"You see that man there? His biggest pet peeve,"
Scrubs
"Sir, can I talk to you for a second?"
Scrubs
"Sir, I want to apologize for how I spoke to you."
Scrubs
"OK. So what's the deal, cranky pants?"
Scrubs
"So that's what this is about?"
Scrubs
"This is so cool."
Scrubs
"Jordan, he's starting to look like a guy"
Scrubs
"I'm not gonna go too fast with Julie."
Scrubs
"[# Fountains of Wayne: Hey Julie]"
Scrubs
"Wait. She's veering off."
Scrubs
"Gimme this little boy."
Scrubs
"Ugh! Ah! Oh!"
Scrubs
"No, I am talking about how you go a million miles an hour"
Scrubs
"You bet your ass it won't."
Scrubs
"[J.D.] So I had to use Elliot's advice with Julie."
Scrubs
"- Oh! - [Crashing]"
Scrubs
"Why aren't you doing the same?"
Scrubs
"[Drums playing]"
Scrubs
"Oh, you're such a nice young man."
Scrubs
"# No, I know I'm no Superman"
Scrubs
"[Hard rock song ends]"
Scrubs
"Dr. Kelso, I'll go to that conference."
Scrubs
"[Lip-syncing]"
Scrubs
"Stay away from my girlfriend, Elliot."
Scrubs
"Are we crazy to be thinking about buying this?"
Scrubs
"No."
Scrubs
"[EIliot] J.D., you home?"
Scrubs
"Ooh, I'm gonna have the carrot cake."
Scrubs
"# I can't do this all on my own"
Scrubs
"Like when?"
Scrubs
"[Both yelling]"
Scrubs
"who bug the bejesus out of me has been met for the next billion years."
Scrubs
"Ask if she's been tested. Why are these thoughts popping into my head?"
Scrubs
"- [Julie shouting] - [Crashing]"
Scrubs
"Excuse me?"
Scrubs
"Hey, come on now. We're still a band, huh?"
Scrubs
"Let's roll."
Scrubs
"[Gasping]"
Scrubs
"Oh, thank you. I'm not big on blind dates."
Scrubs
"I know, I haven't hit it in a while, but there's good reason for that."
Scrubs
"# I'm no Superman #"
Scrubs
"Ladies, hate to disappoint, but my quota for women"
Scrubs
"- OK. - [Keys jingle]"
Scrubs
"And stay away from my J.D. Wigs!"
Scrubs
"I can't get a transfusion."
Scrubs
"Luckily, she's not great at gloating."
Scrubs
"It was never about you saying no to the conference."
Scrubs
"I am just sick and tired of having to live up to everyone's expectations."
Scrubs