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Clips from Parks and Recreation (2009) - Harvest Festival (S03E03)

"Have a seat. Ken, I know why you're here."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm under a lot of pressure."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm gonna need to formally ask you to move the carnival."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm sorry? What's going on."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"The carnival is on the site of the battle of Indian Hill,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"which was an epic seven day battle that the Wamapoke lost."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Due to the fact that they didn't have any weapons."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"During the battle, 93-year-old chief Wakote"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"was shot 102 times by the calvary."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Did he die?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yes."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And this moment will be commemorated"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"for the next seven days"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"with shooting galleries and fried dough stands."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ken, I understand."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But it's the only place in town"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"that's big enough to house the carnival rides."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This is a map of all the atrocities the Pawnee settlers"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"inflicted upon the Wamapoke Indians."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"The atrocities are in blue."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We put up a memorial plaque,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and we have a Wamapoke exhibit in the history tent."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I completely understand you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But this is sacred burial ground."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And I just hope that the souls of my ancestors"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"don't put a curse on this festival."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"There are two things I know about white people."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"They love Matchbox 20,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and they are terrified of curses."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Hey. - Hey."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Um, so somebody, I don't want to say who."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It was totally me."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Got sweetums to donate another 15 cotton candy machines."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Ah, take that, curse. - Take that, curse."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Ow, ow, ow! - Bazooka!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ugh! Get a room."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- All right. - Okay."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Um, so guys, focus up."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Joan Callamezzo is coming by with a camera crew,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"for an exclusive last-minute walk through"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Joan is always looking for a scandal."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Eagle-eyed tiger! New band name, I call it!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"So everybody gather around."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay, you're all amazing, wonderful people."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And not focus on the fact that if one thing goes wrong,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay, let's go get 'em everybody!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yes!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hey, whatever happened to you and the bionic man?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Chris? He broke up with me."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But he did it so nicely that I didn't even realize he did it."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I've done that to multiple men."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"How you doing? You doing okay?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Thank you so much for asking, it's been tough, yeah."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Two days ago I was sobbing at"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I've been looking at some dog adoption web sites."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Bought $700 worth of candles from Anthropologie."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You know, your basic bottoming out kind of stuff."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yeah."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Normally, people tell you to talk about your problems,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Muah-muah-murder."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Murdering the most melons."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Shaquille showered shame on Shakira's sheets."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Looks like a very impressive festival."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But we'll see."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We'll see."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It's nice to see you again."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Let's get started. - Okay."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Now the festival is spread throughout the town."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But the centerpiece is the carnival."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And over here is Indiana's largest corn maze."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ah."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Is that Pawnee corn or Eagleton corn?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Pawnee corn, and it's organic."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Over here we have our beautiful ferris wheel."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ah, beautiful."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But deadly."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"When was the last time this giant wheel of death"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"was inspected?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Actually, twice in the last week."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And everything is 100% up to code."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"How many of these carnies are illegals?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"None, they're all U.S. citizens."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Over in this booth, Indiana basketball legend Larry Bird's"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"84-year-old aunt Tilda will be"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"signing autographs for two hours on Thursday."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- You got Tilda? - Yeah."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Oh. - We got Tilda."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But the real coup is over there."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Li'l Sebastian."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Are you [bleep] kidding me?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- You got Li'l Sebastian? - See for yourself!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, wow. He is so adorable."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Tom! - How are you?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Good. - Good to see you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Did you get your breasts done?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- You look amazing. - Yes, thanks for noticing."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Joan, listen to me."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This Harvest Festival, it's gonna knock your socks off."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And when it does, I'm gonna be there"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Good lord."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"God, I swear, it's almost like they don't want you to win."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm gonna win you a million Teddy bears."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, I want a billion Teddy bears."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This is a hard game. Two million."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"All right."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hey, I love you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You're such a good boy."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Jerry, stop bothering Li'l Sebastian."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Leslie said I should watch him for a little bit."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Most people look at Li'l Sebastian"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and they see a famous mini horse."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I see an advertising opportunity for my club."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"The Snakehole Lounge."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Wow, that is a shockingly huge mini horse erection."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What about your friend Ben, here?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We all know his story, one of failure."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Remind us of that failure."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, uh, you know, when I was an 18-year-old mayor,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I tried to build a winter sports complex"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I was also short-stop on my JV baseball team."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
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