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Clips from 30 Rock - Black Tie (S01E01)

"Check it out. Yo' mama is so stupid,"
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"What's the difference between yo' mama and a washing machine?"
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"- Theatre tech. - I see."
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"Yes. This will be good for you."
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"...different class of people."
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"It's like this, Pete. I love my wife. I love her."
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"- Oh, take me. - I can't take you."
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"No, it's not a date."
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"Dag! Who does that?"
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"I'm sorry, Our car will be downstairs at 7:00."
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"- Would you make sure that she gets this... - Oh, yes."
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"Sorry."
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"Is it?"
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"- Fine. My mistake. - It's so funny that you thought that."
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"- Austria. - Yeah. That's what I said."
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"- It's been a while. You look good. - Thank you."
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"Do you remember my fiancé, Vincent Foley?"
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"- What was her name? - Beyoncé."
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"Excuse me, miss. But his highness has noticed you."
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"He saved my life when we was in Desert Storm."
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"Your name sounds Jewish. You must be important."
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"Mind your business, son! He's embracing his power."
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"- Yeah. What happened there? - I just couldn't keep up with her."
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"with a carousel of super-hot women I couldn't care less about."
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"OK. Easy there, Jackie Chan. Be careful."
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"Wow! That is an amazing stony!"
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"Look, both of you, calm down."
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"Oh, it feels good to laugh."
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"Go on."
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"Of course. I think it's the most beautiful language in the world."
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"- Happy birthday. - Thank you."
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"Don't do it!"
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"- Be a Samson! - You're a better man than this."
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"He's going to get you pregnant right away."
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"Because, ultimately, I know they are going to leave him."
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"I hate seeing Johnny happy!"
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"has set me free!"
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"Thank you, dear Jenna."
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"You can pick up your gift bags at the coat check."
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"- You going down, Pete? - I'll take the stairs."
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"You look like a baby."
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"Boy, he proved them all wrong."
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"- What are these, your bike shorts? - All right. Knock it off."
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"Oh, good Lord, Lemon, let it go. That's never going to happen."
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"- I've been with beauty queens... - Yes, I get it."
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"OK, round two. Josh, you're up. What do you got?"
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"she thinks an iMac is a new hamburger at McDonald's."
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"- OK. Not bad. - OK. I got it."
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"- Lemon, could I speak with you for a moment? - That's what your sister asked me last night."
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"This way."
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"My friend Gerhardt Hapsburg is throwing a birthday party at the Pierre tonight."
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"You want me to think of something funny you can write in a card?"
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"Who's Gerhardt Hapsburg?"
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"Prince Gerhardt is the last male descendant of the imperial house of Hapsburg."
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"They ruled the Austro-Hungarian Empire."
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"What exactly did you study in college?"
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"I'm inviting you to the social event of the season."
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"I don't know, Jack. Would I have to wear high-heel shoes?"
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"No. They're just really chapped."
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"I'll have the wardrobe department pull a dress for you."
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"I just thought maybe you'd like to spend some time with a..."
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"- OK. I'll do it. But I'm not gonna like it. - That's what your mom said to me last night."
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"Booyah."
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"- You got slammed, girl. - That was surprising."
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"Yes, dear."
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"Oh, boy. Who's crying? ls it Caleb?"
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"What's up, Pete?"
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"OK, I'll try. Yeah."
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"Elmo wants you to aim your pee-pee at the potty."
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"How is that Elmo's fault?"
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"Did Mommy have some wine before she called Elmo?"
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"Click."
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"What? No, it's just my wife is visiting her folks."
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"- And she's a little stressed out. - Seems like you got yourself a Delilah."
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"A what?"
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"like Delilah took strength from Samson in that movie."
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"My wife gives me strength. That's why she's so special."
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"I actually haven't met your wife yet. Hi."
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"That ain't my wife. Go get me a fizzy water."
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"We're a team."
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"That's why eight times a week I go to the strip club."
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"It gives me energy, which I bring back to her."
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"- And your wife doesn't get jealous? - Nah! She likes it."
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"Makes me feel strong, like a Samson."
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"Samson!"
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"Wow. What's that for?"
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"I'm going to a birthday party for some prince tonight."
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"- You mean like a dog birthday party? - Oh. That's better."
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"No. He's a real European prince. Gerhardt Hapsburg?"
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"What? You have to take me with you."
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"Liz, it's always been my dream to meet and marry a prince,"
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"Hey, maybe I'm Cinderella this time."
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"No, Liz. Cinderella is blond."
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"You can be Snow White and party with the little people."
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"I'm only getting in because Donaghy is taking me."
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"Wait. You're gonna be Jack Donaghy's date?"
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"I, uh, got you a little something."
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"- This is definitely a date. - No."
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"- I didn't know I was coming to this tonight. - Don't apologize. You look great."
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"- May I? - I got it. Thanks."
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"Careful."
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"Thank you so much."
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"Let's see..."
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"- To us. - Is this a date?"
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"What?"
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"Lemon, I date socialites and models and actresses,"
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"Liz Hurley... in the '90s."
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"- Hi, Jack. Maybe I'll see you later. - I hope so. Her."
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"Her."
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"Her. The two of them."
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"This guy coming up on my left, his daughter this summer."
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"Wes, good to see you."
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"Hit it!"
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"- Oh, hello. - Hi. How did you get in here?"
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"Oh, Liz, If you dress well and enter with confidence, you can get in anywhere."
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"You showed the security guy your boobs, didn't you?"
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"Chocotini, please."
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"You were dead wrong about this being a date."
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"I just made a complete ass out of myself in front of Jack."
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"Oh, I'm sorry."
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