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Clips from South Park - Pip (S04E04)

"and nutmeg-filled Yorkshire puddings. Hello, I'm a British person."
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"from Charles Dickens' timeless classic, Great Expectations."
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"you'll know the timeless classic"
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"as if you'd read the Cliffs Notes themselves."
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"was on his way to see his parents."
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"Oh, we have such fun together."
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"Well, it's getting dark, Mum and Dad."
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"There you are. And here's a sandwich. You must be starving."
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"Stop your metal orange, you bastard. You're not worth a tablespoon"
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"Shut up, you silly nit."
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"Well, for starters, we can look in the want ads"
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"- I've come to answer the want ad. - Is that so, you smelly little bastard?"
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"This way, you beef-witted shrivelled-up monkey's penis."
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"Up here, you gamy mass of baby vomit."
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"- In here. - Oh, after you, miss."
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"who has not seen the sun in over 20 years?"
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"Oh, no, no. You sort of look upon women who have not seen the sun"
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"for over 20 years quite a lot these days."
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"Oh, you stupid, pathetic boy."
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"You quite fancy her, don't you? Come back again next week."
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"Day after day, Pip visited Estella. Sometimes they would play."
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"Don't you want to play any more?"
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"Oh, I rather thought I was."
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"Yes, good. She will break his pathetic heart into a million pieces."
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"each and every day. Oh, bless him. Isn't he lovely?"
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"And so you bang on this side."
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"Sure. They're those things with vaginas in them."
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"I'm a lawyer from London in search of a young lad named Pip."
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"I'm Pip, sir."
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"He will one day inherit a handsome property,"
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"but the owner of that property wants him first to travel"
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"There is only one condition, Pip."
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"You shall stay here with your roommate, Mr. Pocket."
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"who will help you on your way to being a gentleman."
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"On up then, and prepare for school on the morrow."
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"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."
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"- Mr. Pip. - Mr. Pocket?"
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"As do you."
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"This is our sitting room. Just chairs and tables and carpet and so forth."
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"This is my little bedroom, rather musty, and this is your bedroom."
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"- My, how lovely. - Oh, what a gay time we shall have."
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"And I do mean gay as in festive, not as in penetration of the bum."
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"Right. Time for a smashing meal and the story of Miss Havesham."
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"and grew up to be somewhat of a spoiled brat."
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"grew up to be a lovely young lady and soon a man came along."
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"to remark that a dinner napkin should never be placed into the tumbler."
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"and professed to be devoted to her."
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"She passionately loved him back. The marriage day was fixed,"
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"- Terribly sorry, Pocket. - Not at all, I'm sure."
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"and he was shown how to dance and how to eat box."
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"And after it all, after weeks and weeks of intense schooling,"
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"Proud of himself, Pip decided to pay Miss Havesham a visit"
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"Estella has been off to school, as well. She has become quite the lady."
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"- Right-o. - Love her, Pip."
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"I developed her into what she is"
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"- So that she might be loved. - Yes, but where would I find her?"
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"Go and seek her out. And love her. Love her."
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"for everything. I am the happiest boy in the land."
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"Yes, our young Pip had come a long way."
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"and all would be right with the world."
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"Hello, Estella."
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"I see. And you no longer live with the blacksmith?"
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"any more, now that I'm a gentleman and all."
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"It is wonderful to see you again, Estella."
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"- Is it? Why? - Because I believe I'm in love with you."
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"And if it ceased to beat, I should cease to be. But you know what I mean."
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"I have no softness there, no sympathy, sentiment."
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"I see past that, Estella."
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"I see. And you fancy this Steve fellow?"
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"- What's the matter, Pip? - I don't understand."
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"It's... It's the way it goes sometimes, Pip."
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"Don't they make a handsome couple, Pip? Look at the way he holds her hand."
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"You sent me away to become a gentleman"
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"Things aren't always what they seem, Pip."
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"Well, I suppose that if you set out to break my heart,"
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"Tell me all about it."
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"to use in my Genesis device. You see, my foolish child,"
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"- Hearts for another generation. - What the hell?"
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"Oh, no, you don't. You're my girl. And I'm not letting you walk out on me."
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"What the..."
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"I'll rip off your arms and shove them up your ass."
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"After you helped me, I moved to Wales and made something of myself."
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"If it weren't for you, I'd have never become a millionaire."
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"Because back then you treated me like any other person."
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"She totally let me believe it."
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"And now I suppose there's only one thing left to do."
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"let's go kick her arse."
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"Quite the contrary, blacksmith. My revenge on the male race"
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"- You won't get away with this. - Won't I?"
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"Let the transformation begin."
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"Come, Estella. You can't want to be part of this."
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"Yes, but just think about panda bears."
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"Oh, they're so cuddly and sweet, panda bears are."
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"- They're almost extinct. - Oh, right, right."
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"With a splishy splash and a hold your breath tight."
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"Get out of that chair, you old cow."
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"Estella, listen to me."
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"- Right. - Oh, what fun it is to collect stamps."
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"with their smashing little pictures and happy, bright colours."
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"- Ice skating. - Oh, what fun ice skating is."
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"A person with a heart could never kill nine baby bunnies."
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"- What? - I don't want to kill any more of them."
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"No, no. I'm sure of it. You have a heart."
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"Oh, top smart, Pip."
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"Until next time, I'm a British person, goodnight."
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"Ah, Dickens."
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"The imagery of cobblestone streets, craggy London buildings"
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"For years now the character Pip has been featured prominently"
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"in the American show South Park. However, many Americans don't realise"
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"where Pip came from."
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"And so tonight, the makers of South Park have agreed to take a break"
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"in its entirety, from beginning to end. Indeed, after watching this show,"
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"Our story is set in England"
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"in the small town of Draftherdshire upon Topsmart"
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"where a young, blond-haired boy named Pip"
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"Hello, Mum, hello, Dad. It certainly is nice to see you again."
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"Don't worry, sister is still taking very good care of me."
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"She just loves to smack me in the face and tell me I'm worthless."
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"I'll see you again soon."
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"Did we breaky-wakeys out of prison?"
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