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Clips from Scrubs - My Urologist (S05E05)

"Nothing like watching your boyfriend get humiliated daily."
Scrubs
"[Screaming]"
Scrubs
"Baby, look at this! I'm starting to look like a big fat pregnant lady."
Scrubs
"No, you're not. You look like you let yourself go a little."
Scrubs
"[Crying]"
Scrubs
"You're overreacting because your pregnancy hormones are taking over."
Scrubs
"It's fine. These past few days, your moods have changed like that."
Scrubs
"- That's cool. - I'm sorry."
Scrubs
"Baby. Oh, I want to do it right now."
Scrubs
"I can't believe she'll never meet her grandchild."
Scrubs
"Do you want to start with kissing, or get to the good stuff?"
Scrubs
"Give her a special treat and say hello."
Scrubs
"Hello!"
Scrubs
"On behalf of everyone here at Sacred Heart,"
Scrubs
"- I've been here five years, big guy. - I know that, Kim."
Scrubs
"It's a game. What's your name? Turk. What's that guy's name? I don't know."
Scrubs
"It's a patient. Looks like a Dave. Are you Dave? We don't know."
Scrubs
"- Torture him about this. - Will do."
Scrubs
"Peace out."
Scrubs
"Because she wears a wedding ring."
Scrubs
"You don't notice women who wear wedding rings."
Scrubs
"- [Turk] Kim was here on your first day. - That's enough."
Scrubs
"- Dude, she's been around. - # Everybody was Kung Fu fighting"
Scrubs
"Thank you."
Scrubs
"Dr. Feinberg?"
Scrubs
"But I sent your family flowers."
Scrubs
"I know. You bought them from me. It was kind of weird."
Scrubs
"That's backwards. It's been bugging me for years."
Scrubs
"How are we doing, Mr. Peters?"
Scrubs
"Cover up, sailors. Chick on deck. I need extra towels for the ladies' room."
Scrubs
"Oh, I got a towel for you."
Scrubs
"I just love that every woman knows how to do that."
Scrubs
"She even got along with the greasers."
Scrubs
"I know everyone gives you a hard time, but trust me, this look is coming back."
Scrubs
"Mr. Peters, having a gal urologist might seem a little uncomfortable,"
Scrubs
"Now, this is the length of the average penis."
Scrubs
"That seems about right."
Scrubs
"You know what? I'm not talking to any of you guys."
Scrubs
"You lie...!"
Scrubs
"so to get back at him, I'm treating everyone to drinks."
Scrubs
"I think Keith and I might be done."
Scrubs
"What?!"
Scrubs
"[Fake Italian accent] Oh, no. I snapped the pencil."
Scrubs
"I'm at the Giggle Pit every Monday at sunup."
Scrubs
"Wait, I'm mad at you. You stole my video camera"
Scrubs
"Why do you think I stole it?"
Scrubs
"Someone with the screen name "Rotinaj.""
Scrubs
"Morning, Dr. Rotinaj."
Scrubs
"Good morning, Mr. Clean-Up-Man."
Scrubs
"Mr. Peters, I looked at your CT scan and I recommend we don't do surgery."
Scrubs
"Great."
Scrubs
"This is goodbye, but I leave you in the capable hands"
Scrubs
"I gave you a new middle initial. It reassures patients."
Scrubs
"The "D" stands for "Dallas" because I told Mr. Peters"
Scrubs
"that's where I lost my virginity. Don't know how we got down that path."
Scrubs
"Something about that old man makes me want to open up."
Scrubs
"I hope you like your new initial."
Scrubs
"[Sexy jazz music]"
Scrubs
"OK, see ya, J.D."
Scrubs
"Kim, wait."
Scrubs
"Unfortunately, there's no way I can make you mine,"
Scrubs
"Dr. Acula, don't stop!"
Scrubs
"Vampires like it windy."
Scrubs
"Why are you breaking up with Keith?"
Scrubs
"Look, Keith is sweet,"
Scrubs
"but after watching him get walked on again,"
Scrubs
"I feel like I need a stronger man in my life."
Scrubs
"Someone as confident as Turk"
Scrubs
"or as brave as Dr. Cox or as..."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry, I don't know your husband. What are some of his good qualities?"
Scrubs
"Well, he was a roadie for Jimi Hendrix, and when it rains,"
Scrubs
"And you guys have been together, what, 60 years?"
Scrubs
"I'm 48, and I'm done here."
Scrubs
"My bad. Yeah."
Scrubs
"Elliot, I don't want Keith to go! [Crying]"
Scrubs
"What? "I'm pregnant. I'm crying. I'm laughing." Enough already!"
Scrubs
"It's boring."
Scrubs
"I need to wire some cash to my son so he can make bail."
Scrubs
"Anyhoo, I need somebody to zip out to my house and grab $400."
Scrubs
"I'll do it."
Scrubs
"I shouldn't be mopping here anyway. This is a rug."
Scrubs
"You know the difference between you and me?"
Scrubs
"Your melon-sized prostate, sir?"
Scrubs
"I will never fear this man."
Scrubs
"- You think I'm afraid of you, chief? - No, sir, I do not."
Scrubs
"Look, I keep my extra cash in a pickle jar on the top shelf over the sink."
Scrubs
"Oh, right."
Scrubs
"Well, it tickles me."
Scrubs
"[Sloshing]"
Scrubs
"but listen,"
Scrubs
"we're all gonna be extra, extra sensitive so you don't get riled up, OK?"
Scrubs
"I know you think I'm just being crazy, but Elliot,"
Scrubs
"but that's what it's like."
Scrubs
"You're doing what we do when we get into a serious relationship,"
Scrubs
"freaking out and trying to poke holes in it."
Scrubs
"because he cried at the end of sex?"
Scrubs
"- Baby! - Relax, Brown Bear."
Scrubs
"And you know how hard single life can be. Just ask Kim."
Scrubs
"Wait. Kim's single?"
Scrubs
"Yeah. She's been divorced for over a year."
Scrubs
"Yahtzee!"
Scrubs
"Hey, girl. What are you doing? Want to get some coffee later?"
Scrubs
"I decided against it."
Scrubs
"First of all, Newbie, nobody's ever thought that, ever."
Scrubs
"When is the last time you met a cutter who didn't want to cut?"
Scrubs
"I guess we all get mad when people say things we don't want to hear."
Scrubs
"Elliot!"
Scrubs
"you'll think about it with Keith."
Scrubs
"Oh, my God, Carla! Will you please just butt out of this one?"
Scrubs
"Especially when things feel a bit fishy."
Scrubs
"- Here's your cash. - Oh, thanks."
Scrubs
"Hey, is that a new coat?"
Scrubs
"Yeah. Just picked it up."
Scrubs
"Where did you get the money to buy it?"
Scrubs
"Mmm, I don't think that's any business of yours."
Scrubs
"Surgery is really the only thing that has a shot"
Scrubs
"and the reason that she's not going to do it"
Scrubs
"is he's older and has heart issues, which makes him high risk."
Scrubs
"And if he were to drop dead on her operating table, well,"
Scrubs
"Even if it means losing respect for someone you might like."
Scrubs
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