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Clips from Scrubs - My Urologist (S05E05)

"What can I say? You got me."
Scrubs
"Damn."
Scrubs
"I covered your gastric-bypass patient last night. He left a message for you."
Scrubs
"- [Greasers laughing] - [Tires squealing]"
Scrubs
"What!"
Scrubs
"I wasn't the only one having relationship problems."
Scrubs
"We're OK, right?"
Scrubs
"I bet you can't prove it."
Scrubs
"Enid, you are my eyewitness."
Scrubs
"Enid, is that a new pantsuit?"
Scrubs
"and if you keep money in a pickle jar, you should know how much is there,"
Scrubs
"so she can feel pretty."
Scrubs
"- Mmm, that was nice. Thank you. - That wasn't me."
Scrubs
"It bothers me that a doctor won't help a patient so she could keep her stats up."
Scrubs
"Surgery's competitive. We do what we must to get ahead."
Scrubs
"My best friend here's a surgeon,"
Scrubs
"and he'd never pass on risky surgery to keep his stats up."
Scrubs
"Actually, I have done that."
Scrubs
"- Everyone has. - Oh, my God!"
Scrubs
"Well, it's no secret how I feel about surgeons. I hate them."
Scrubs
"I'd liken them to rocks, but that would insult rocks"
Scrubs
"Hit her, Per!"
Scrubs
"that she works in a broken system."
Scrubs
"but as always, I don't care."
Scrubs
"and went to town on your van."
Scrubs
"Well done, sir."
Scrubs
"Too bad you can't prove it."
Scrubs
"... blood."
Scrubs
"It's Dorian's camera. This must be a scene from Dr. Acula."
Scrubs
"You ain't taking no more blood from my ho-slapping hand."
Scrubs
"I will pimp slap you!"
Scrubs
"This feels really racist, J.D."
Scrubs
"- Why can't I be a vampire? - Because it's my movie!"
Scrubs
"Now, let's take it from the top and I'm not gonna ask you again, blacker!"
Scrubs
"- Blacker. - Yes, please."
Scrubs
"- Blacker. - [J.D. Screaming]"
Scrubs
"Prove that!"
Scrubs
"Yeah!"
Scrubs
"You enjoyed the pancakes I left on the computer?"
Scrubs
"No, but I enjoyed the 3,000 ants crawling on my keyboard."
Scrubs
"There's two doing it on the F button."
Scrubs
"You must be bored with this friendship"
Scrubs
"you're nothing but a spoiled, selfish, neurotic girl from Connecticut"
Scrubs
"who has absolutely no idea how to..."
Scrubs
"No one's allowed to be that mean to my girl, especially when she's apologizing."
Scrubs
"- Are we clear? - [JD] Nobody speaks to Carla like that."
Scrubs
"It was cool getting to know you, man."
Scrubs
"The irony was Keith was yelling at the one woman"
Scrubs
"who was trying to save his relationship."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry, Elliot."
Scrubs
"And even more ironic was that it looked like she had."
Scrubs
"I think Elliot finally seeing who Keith really was"
Scrubs
"made me understand why I was so upset with Kim."
Scrubs
"[# Aqualung: Easier to Lie]"
Scrubs
"Look who's happy again."
Scrubs
"I'm on the phone with my mom. She just got her RV fixed."
Scrubs
"I finally figured out what bothers me so much about you."
Scrubs
"That prevents any guy from getting anywhere near you."
Scrubs
"I was a little disappointed to find out who you turned out to be."
Scrubs
"I'll see you around, Kim."
Scrubs
"- I don't want to do this. - No problem."
Scrubs
"I'll give the tape to the police."
Scrubs
"Ladies and gentleman, this is your chief of medicine, Bob Kelso."
Scrubs
"Honestly, is there anyone else with such a brilliant mind?""
Scrubs
"You planned this, didn't you?"
Scrubs
"Please don't tell her."
Scrubs
""So please join me in basking"
Scrubs
"in the glow of the Janitor's awesome:"
Scrubs
"Did you decide it was the right thing to do?"
Scrubs
"No, actually, it was a stupid career risk."
Scrubs
"Because for some reason, I find myself"
Scrubs
"really caring about what you think of me."
Scrubs
"Hello, carpool lane."
Scrubs
"and think about what you did."
Scrubs
"How come I never noticed her before?"
Scrubs
"# Ne-me-ne-me Me-me-me-me-me #"
Scrubs
"Oh, really? Will all women who are married in the area"
Scrubs
"Gift shop girl."
Scrubs
"# I can't do this all on my own"
Scrubs
"Yah!"
Scrubs
"so let's take the stigma off of it."
Scrubs
"- I'll have to come by sometime. - Do it, man."
Scrubs
"I was surfing the hospital's Web site and I saw that someone posted"
Scrubs
"Laverne, you've been here 40 years now. You ever heard of such a thing?"
Scrubs
"at curing this guy,"
Scrubs
"that would make her surgery stats go down."
Scrubs
"Hold on. Dr. Turk,"
Scrubs
"- What'd he say? - You are square."
Scrubs
"Stupid greasers."
Scrubs
"She had all night to think."
Scrubs
"She'll probably be in a shame spiral. Let's enjoy it."
Scrubs
"Sorry about the way I left last night."
Scrubs
"- Yeah! - Look, J.D."
Scrubs
"- However... - Now, back to the crux of the matter."
Scrubs
"However, it is not Dr. Briggs' fault"
Scrubs
"[Hissing]"
Scrubs
"- What do you want, Elliot? - I wanted to apologize."
Scrubs
"- Well, save it. - Look, Carla, I..."
Scrubs
"The most embarrassing thing is you don't realize you do it."
Scrubs
"- Thanks for standing up for me. - Yeah, totally."
Scrubs
"- Yeah, well, it's just... - J.D., one sec."
Scrubs
"And you still wear your wedding ring."
Scrubs
"in fact, fear the Janitor."
Scrubs
"The whole being mean thing, so that Keith would stand up for me."
Scrubs
"Oh, thanks."
Scrubs
""Fearitude." Good night."
Scrubs
"I saw you did that surgery on Mr. Peters."
Scrubs
"Then why'd you do it?"
Scrubs
"And that! And that!"
Scrubs
"[Sloshing]"
Scrubs
"[Record scratches and music stops]"
Scrubs
"Enid wants that jar so bad she can taste it. [chuckling]"
Scrubs
"Out of here! Dr. Cox, please weigh in."
Scrubs
"Now comes the good part."
Scrubs
"What do you want?"
Scrubs
"I don't know. I guess, in the grand scheme of things, it's not a big deal."
Scrubs
"You don't remember she's paralyzed and can't stand out of her wheelchair."
Scrubs
"You don't want to do it now. This'll pass."
Scrubs
"Anastasia?"
Scrubs
"You say he's not strong enough because he gets stepped on at work,"
Scrubs
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