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Clips from Parks and Recreation (2009) - Jerry's Retirement (S05E05)

"Leslie, you've worked nonstop. Holidays and weekends."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You're just gonna take a day off."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- It'll be good for you. - All right. You're cute."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- And you're right. - Come on."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'll be gone for the next 19 1/2 hours,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"so can you water my plants in my office?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We are all out of water, actually."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Are you really gonna do that? - Yes."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, everybody. Um, wow."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It has been an honor and a pleasure"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"have been the happiest days"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"of my life here in the government."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"that we stay in touch."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What the [Bleep] is happening right now?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Today's my last day, Leslie."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, I didn't want to make a big fuss."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Although, gosh, I'm pretty sure I mentioned it a few times."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, God, they're gonna fire people, aren't they?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yeah, I am two years from my pension."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Can you believe it?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Only six months left until I retire."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ooh."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What did Jerry say?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, this is my last weep. Oops."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I mean, "weep." Week."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Jeez."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Just wait."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Everybody wait. Okay."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We have to commemorate this somehow."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You're right."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Thanks, Ron. That speech means a lot."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay, well, I am going to go and say good-bye"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"to some other folks."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay, see you tomorrow, Jerry."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You might be the healthiest human being we've ever seen."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You have the resting heart rate of a 100-year-old tortoise."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"there's no chance I would pass that on?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It wasn't genetic, so you shouldn't worry at all."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You have every reason to expect a healthy child."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Unless there's a reason"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"you'd like to wait till next month."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"No."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"None."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Completely off topic."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Here I am thinking about how fast"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"my first year in city council has gone,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and Jerry has had 40 years whiz past him"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"with nothing to show for it."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This is everything in his file--"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"a handicapped parking sticker from when he got gout,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"a scathing performance review."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, wait. I wrote this."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That's what I thought, but when he started,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"he had a lot of dreams and goals."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"have a building named after him."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and go home to an empty life."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, I'll help with anything."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Just promise we'll do it quickly."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Mac and cheese pizza? - Yeah."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- You're making that? - Yeah."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Torturing Jerry was my favorite thing in the world."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"After making out with you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Who are we gonna make fun of now?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"No need to worry."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Every place I've ever worked in"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"has had a "Jerry.""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"When one Jerry leaves,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"the office naturally selects"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"a new Jerry to fill that role."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"The strong prey on the weak."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Soon, one of you will be ridiculed mercilessly."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ah, nature."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"So starting now, I am an employee"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"of the County Health Board."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Clear sailing."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Goodbye, Ann Perkins, my excellent employee."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hello, Ann Perkins, my fallopian princess."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"So here's the drill."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Make a deposit in here."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"If you fill it up all the way,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and prepare it for fertilization."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I guess it's go time."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, no, no. I go in alone"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And I try not to think"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"about you waiting out here"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"trying not to think about me."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This was totally just sprung on us."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"There's so many pamphlets to look at."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yes, we do have"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"very important pamphlet reading to do."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Do I keep this?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I don't know. It feels wrong to leave it here."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I panicked. Run!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Here are the last of the Animal Control reports."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What are you doing, weirdo?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Just trying not to spill anything."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Way ahead of you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Pilo fibles. Ugh. Filo pilos."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Are you broken? - No, everything's fine."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, I guess that settles who the new Jerry is."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"No, it doesn't! I barely even said it wrong."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Said it wrong. - Stop it!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This is how it begins."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"The next "Jerry.""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"One screwed-up sentence, and 30 years later,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm wearing aquamarine sweater vests"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and listening to Bonnie Raitt"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and The da Vinci Code on my iPod."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Believe it or not, Jerry, you were young once."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Young and full of dreams."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And as unrealistic and absurd as those goals were,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"we are not letting you retire until we help you achieve them."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"So let's see what's first."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
""Eat in city council private dining room.""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Sure. Let's go."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Authorized personnel only."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, they're with me."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And we don't have clearance levels."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I mean, it sounds so cool."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Anyway, we just need to get in there real quick"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
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