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Clips from M*A*S*H - Cowboy (S01E01)

"Casualties arriving on the pad"
M*A*S*H
"I‘m gonna count to one, and then you‘d better be out of here."
M*A*S*H
"Ten minutes sleep a week oughta be enough for anybody."
M*A*S*H
"Cowboyjust got back from another run."
M*A*S*H
"— Is he gonna be all right? — Unless somebody shoots him in here."
M*A*S*H
"Whateveryou say, Father."
M*A*S*H
"Well, Cowboy, the Indians struck again."
M*A*S*H
"Would you check on the mail? I been expecting a letter."
M*A*S*H
"Something wrong?"
M*A*S*H
"I‘ll see what I can do."
M*A*S*H
"Great idea."
M*A*S*H
"Yeah ?"
M*A*S*H
"So ifyou don‘t wanna become a hood ornament, you‘d better move!"
M*A*S*H
"Iwas stealing."
M*A*S*H
"- Sir? — Not now, Radar."
M*A*S*H
"She‘s got great stuff."
M*A*S*H
"And you, Captain, you will have to find some other means oftransportation."
M*A*S*H
"Ha ha."
M*A*S*H
"Sir, would you sign thatI signed?"
M*A*S*H
"and each one is worse than the one before."
M*A*S*H
"Yeah, but I think he‘s got something at home that is."
M*A*S*H
"He‘s gonna be very unhappy."
M*A*S*H
"It‘s multiple choice."
M*A*S*H
"— Thought you had a date with a nurse. — Two."
M*A*S*H
"Maybe he needs some relaxation."
M*A*S*H
"Uh, at about 3 o‘clock."
M*A*S*H
"[ Whistles] Pretty faraway, isn’t it .7"
M*A*S*H
"and the Chinese communists are out of bounds on the right."
M*A*S*H
"You‘re the boss."
M*A*S*H
"— You oughta use all you got. — Oh,yeah ? How far is it?"
M*A*S*H
"From this bush, about a halfa mile."
M*A*S*H
"— You know, Pierce, this is reallya great idea. — That‘s the only kind to get."
M*A*S*H
"I‘m really starting to unwind."
M*A*S*H
"That‘s great. I‘m glad."
M*A*S*H
"Maybe a ricochet. Shall we continue?"
M*A*S*H
"and maybe the whole day."
M*A*S*H
"Let‘s not quit, Henry. We‘re out here foryour nerves."
M*A*S*H
"Colonel !"
M*A*S*H
"Why, he might‘ve been killed."
M*A*S*H
"— [ Nervous Chuckle] — Oh, come on, sir. I‘ll fix you up."
M*A*S*H
"Come on, sir."
M*A*S*H
"—Jeep crash. —Jeep crash."
M*A*S*H
"Just because I wouldn‘t let you use myjeep."
M*A*S*H
"Wait a minute, Henry. Trapper may be insane, but he‘s not crazy."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, yeah? Where were you this afternoon, McIntyre?"
M*A*S*H
"Over at the supply tent doin‘ a hundred—yard dash with a nurse."
M*A*S*H
"— All right. Tent smashed. — You can sleep here tonight."
M*A*S*H
"—Jeep. Tent. — Yeah."
M*A*S*H
"— Henry—— Henry, wait a minute. — Henry!"
M*A*S*H
"— Why don‘t you go check in the office. — Right."
M*A*S*H
"I found him."
M*A*S*H
"Boom."
M*A*S*H
"Did you fill out the fitness reports?"
M*A*S*H
"She‘s a sucker for a ten—gallon hat."
M*A*S*H
"— You ever see any snakes? — Not while I‘m sober."
M*A*S*H
"Ofcourse, the army has its own kind ofsnakes."
M*A*S*H
"— You don‘t think somebody—— — Let me taste it foryou, huh?"
M*A*S*H
"Well, there are a few things I could do down in Seoul."
M*A*S*H
"Pack up your gear. I‘ll get somebody to drive you."
M*A*S*H
"Here you are, Henry."
M*A*S*H
"over here is the, uh, duty roster."
M*A*S*H
"is filled with personal stuff,"
M*A*S*H
"— It‘ll just be a few days. Everything will be fine. —|‘m sureitwill."
M*A*S*H
"I feel like a sitting duck out there."
M*A*S*H
"— You strong enough to fly? — I thought we‘d do it by chopper."
M*A*S*H
"— No. —Smart fella."
M*A*S*H
"Cowboy‘s in the booby trap business."
M*A*S*H
"We‘d better find him, and Henry."
M*A*S*H
"Say, uh, shouldn‘t I have a parachute too?"
M*A*S*H
"It‘ll only breakyourfall."
M*A*S*H
"You told me to keep an eye open for this. It‘s a letter for the Cowboy."
M*A*S*H
"Purple Rider, Purple Rider. Come in, Purple Rider. Can you read me?"
M*A*S*H
"We‘re notjiving you, Cowboy."
M*A*S*H
"[Whispers] Reno."
M*A*S*H
"Good—bye, Henry."
M*A*S*H
"DearJohn from Reno."
M*A*S*H
"“Sometimes when you‘re away from someone you thought you loved,"
M*A*S*H
"“you find yourself tested by being tempted"
M*A*S*H
"Dear, dearJohn——”"
M*A*S*H
"and that /’m completely worthy of the most wonderful guy in the world .7”"
M*A*S*H
"Cowboy?"
M*A*S*H
"Let’s go home."
M*A*S*H
"— It was a classic combination ofcombat fatigue and worry. He‘ll be okay. — [Hawkeye Laughing]"
M*A*S*H
"His wife‘sjoined him, and he‘s going home fora month‘s leave."
M*A*S*H
"Are you kidding .7"
M*A*S*H
"Just asking, Henry. Just asking."
M*A*S*H
"[ Engine Backfires ]"
M*A*S*H
"[ Man On RA. ] A {tent/on ! A {tent/on !"
M*A*S*H
"We’ve got another delivery from the Cowboy."
M*A*S*H
"Sir, I hate to wake you——"
M*A*S*H
"How would you like me to take out your tonsils... through your ear?"
M*A*S*H
"You‘re needed in surgery."
M*A*S*H
"I‘d give anything to be able to see the inside ofmy eyelids."
M*A*S*H
"— Doesn‘t that guy ever sleep? — He will now. He‘s been hit in the shoulder."
M*A*S*H
"— Get us some coffee. — Anything else?"
M*A*S*H
"Yeah, two blondes, sunny side up."
M*A*S*H
"— Not the Cowboy again. — Same guy, different shoulder."
M*A*S*H
"I‘m thinking ofputting in zippers."
M*A*S*H
"What do you think, Father? Should I sign it?"
M*A*S*H
"— This is the one the Cowboy brought in? — Yeah. He lost a lot of blood."
M*A*S*H
"Think he‘d mind?"
M*A*S*H
"[Praying In Hebrew]"
M*A*S*H
"Funny. He doesn‘t look it."
M*A*S*H
"Amen."
M*A*S*H
"Ah, I see the mark ofthe mad butcher."
M*A*S*H
"— How do they feel? —They hurt like hell."
M*A*S*H
"I‘m serious, Doc. What do you think of my legs?"
M*A*S*H
"Well, I‘m a fanny man myself."
M*A*S*H
"But I‘m sureyou‘ll be walking around in two weeks."
M*A*S*H
"— Oh, that‘s great. — Oh, yeah, we do quality work here."
M*A*S*H
"When do | get out of here?"
M*A*S*H
"I think the Pony Express has been through already."
M*A*S*H
"It could be, but it ain‘t nothin‘ I can fix from here."
M*A*S*H
"Say, is this thing bad enough I can get sent home?"
M*A*S*H
"Even for a little while?"
M*A*S*H
"— Come on, Frank! Out ofthe way! — You‘re not going anywhere."
M*A*S*H
"Thisjeep is the property ofthe United States Army in general,"
M*A*S*H
"and Colonel Blake in particular,"
M*A*S*H
"and as such is to be used for the official duties thereof and nothing else."
M*A*S*H
"Frank, you‘re suckin‘ around to become a hit—and—run case."
M*A*S*H
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