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Clips from The Simpsons - Selma's Choice (S04E04)

"[ Whining ] But I wanna go to Duff Gardens right now!"
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"- Oh, Homer, quit pouting. - [ Whining ] I'm not pouting."
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"I'm mourning."
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"Stupid dead woman."
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"- ## [ Continue Singing ] - If you don't mind!"
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"We're on our way to a funeral."
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"## [ Sings Macabre Song ]"
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"- ## [ Singing ] - ## [ Singing ]"
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"- [ Engine Stops ] - [ Door Opens, Closes ]"
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"just close your eyes and think of MacGyver."
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"- [ Grunts ] - Hey, Homer! This luggage is crushing me."
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"[ Muffled Whimpering ]"
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"- What? D'oh! - Can we please stop somewhere? My butt's asleep."
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"[ Buzzing ]"
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"[ Slurping ]"
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"All right. I'm almost there."
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"Five, six..."
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"seven, eight."
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"- What are you kids playing? - Counting game."
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"- Oh, that's nice. - Nine..."
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"That's a woman? Dear Lord!"
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"[ Embarrassed Chuckle ] Well, I guess..."
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"Gladys lived alone, died alone."
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"I guess you could say she was a role model for Selma and me."
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"- She wasn't a rich woman-- - [ People Muttering ]"
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"but she was rich in spirit."
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"Don't hassle the dead, boy. They have eerie powers."
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"I mean I'm really, really hungry."
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"It's just not fair, damn it! [ Sobbing ]"
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"to get to know you these last few years."
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"executor of Ms. Bouvier's estate."
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"simply by pressing this "Play" button."
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"I would like to start by reading a passage from Robert Frost."
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""Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and--""
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"All in favor of skipping the poem."
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"- Thank you. - [ Tape Squealing ]"
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""And that has made all the difference.""
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"Now let's get down to business."
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"[Hutz's Voice] To my executor, Lionel Hutz..."
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"I leave $50,000."
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"Mr. Hutz!"
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"You'd be surprised how often that works. You really would."
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"To Marge, I leave my collection..."
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"of potato chips that resemble celebrities."
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"These chips were my children, Marjorie."
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"Uh-oh."
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"Why didn't she just leave me the bowel obstruction that killed her?"
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"To my dear childless nieces, Patty and Selma..."
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"[Echoing] Now! Now! Now!"
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"- [Snoring] - Aunt Gladys was right."
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"There's something missing in our lives."
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"[ Rattling ]"
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"Come and get it. [ Imitates Tiger Snarl ]"
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"- [ Scottish Accent ] Ach! Back to the loch with you, Nessie. - [Cassette Clatters]"
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"[Gypsy Accent] One drop of this love potion..."
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"[ Without Accent ] Mostly corn syrup, a little rubbing alcohol."
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"You'll be lucky if it doesn't Make your hair fall out actually."
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"- [ Squeaky, Breaking Voice ] Paper or plastic? - You decide."
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"- Yep. - No suspenders for you."
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"I guess not."
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"- They make us wear this. - Shall we continue this conversation over dinner?"
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"- It's store policy. - No, it isn't. Ow!"
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""R," "Q," "G.""
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"- [Pointer Tapping] - Question mark. Smiley face."
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"It says here you're single."
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"Did I do wrong?"
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"- ####[Romantic Violin] - Cold biscuits..."
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"chicken..."
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"yellow... mailman."
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"- You're reading the wine list, sir. - Very good."
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"I don't know how to thank you for dinner."
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"Use your imagination."
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"Mmm!"
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"[ Children Whimpering, Grunting ]"
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"Ew! Get outta my car."
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"where roaming gangs aren't a big problem anymore."
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"Now featuring the clean-shaven sounds..."
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"of Hooray For Everything."
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"- [ All ] Hey, kids! Take a walk on the wild side! - ## [ Singing Pop ]"
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"Yeah!"
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"- [Door Slams] - Selma, your date's over already?"
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"Yeah. I was so depressed."
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"I ate ajar of expired olives."
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"Aunt Selma, this may be presumptuous..."
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"[ Wheezing Laugh ] Boy, I don't know."
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"- [ Whispering, Indistinct ] - I knew that."
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"All done!"
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"- Thank you. - Always a pleasure."
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"[ Babies Belching ]"
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"Ooh! One of the Sweathogs."
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"I checked. It's not Horshack."
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"- Oh. Are you sure you wanna have a baby this way? - Yeah."
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"Remember that mail order husband?"
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"[Knocking]"
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"Ooh! You look just like your picture."
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"Sorry. My mind's made up."
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"I wanna have a kid, and this is the only way I can do it."
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"Why do you wanna have a baby so bad?"
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"and, right now, my only outlet is my ham radio."
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"- You'll have to give up smoking. - I'll chew."
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"- No man will want you. - All I got now is sperm in a cup."
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"- [ Groaning ] - [ Groaning ]"
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"- [Footsteps Running] - Come on! Come on! Time to get up!"
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"[ Groaning ]"
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"Sandwich."
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"Well, I'll give it a good home."
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"You've been eating that thing for a week."
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"I think the mayonnaise is starting to turn."
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"I really think you should throw it away."
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"Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment."
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"Are you going to eat it?"
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"Yes."
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"- [ Groaning ] - You look terrible."
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"I don't care. I'm going to Duff Gardens."
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"[Body Thuds On Floor]"
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"S-S-So cold!"
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"Your lips are turning blue. I think you better stay home."
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"No! Duff Gardens."
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"- Hurrah! - [ Horn Honking ]"
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"We really appreciate you taking the children on such short notice."
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