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Clips from The Simpsons - Thursdays with Abie (S21E21)

"Not me-- sat on a real one once!"
The Simpsons
"Tell me more! More?!"
The Simpsons
"(gasps)"
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"Play it cool, Grampa."
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"Play it cool!"
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"It was back in World War II."
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"I was a Seaman First Class"
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"on the USS World War I."
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"We were minding our own business"
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"when we were attacked by a hea t-seeking torpedo"
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"we had fired the day before."
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"(men screaming)"
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"(gasps)"
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"Don't worry about the sharks, boys."
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"Just play possum and they'll leave you alone."
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"GRAMPA: Unfortunately, sharks love possum."
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"Hey, boys, these sharks can't bite us if we're on their backs!"
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"(grunts) Yeah."
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"Whoa!"
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"It's like riding a dust devil back in Yuma--"
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"like I read about in a book back in Boston!"
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"I still keep in touch with all those men"
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"and some of the sharks."
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"Why, here's us in Hawaii last year."
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"Sir, my name is Marshall Goldman."
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"I'm a newspaper columnist"
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"specializing in human interest stories."
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"You're in the newspaper business?"
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"(chuckles)"
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"Something that's gonna die before I do!"
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"Someone's listening to me!"
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"Now I know how a radio feels!"
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"(school bell ringing)"
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"That means it's time to find out which one of you gets"
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"to take Larry the Lamb home for the weekend."
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"(all sigh) Oh! Oh! Oh!"
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"And don't forget,"
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"the lucky student gets to add his or her page"
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"to Larry's personal journal."
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"Just like Martin did last week."
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"Ha!"
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"I want him first! No, me!"
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"Oh, not that stupid stuffed lamb again."
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"This isn't learning!"
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"No, no, no. I'm just saying..."
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"This weekend,"
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"Larry will go home with..."
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"(all gasp)"
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"Please, God, I need this."
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"...Bart Simpson."
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"(all groan)"
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"Hey, the only thing I bring home are notes to my parents,"
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"and those do not arrive the way that they left."
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"Hmm."
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"Oh, what a nice note!"
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"I'm not sticking my hand in that can again."
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"You're getting the lamb."
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"Not so fast."
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"Tell the diary how special he makes you feel!"
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"More adjectives!"
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"That's an adverb!"
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"Top of the morning, Homer."
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"Seen the paper?"
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"No, I get my news off the Internet."
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"(laughing)"
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"Well, sir, it looks like your dad is a quotable notable."
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"Huh?"
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"That's a... It's funny."
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"It's poignant..."
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"It actually happened!"
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"My father is interesting?!"
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"The whole world's upside down!"
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"That must mean Cathy is funny."
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"Nope."
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"Abe, I never knew you were so full of..."
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"(speaking Yiddish)! What does that mean?"
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"It's like (speaking Yiddish),"
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"but with a pinch more (speaking Yiddish)!"
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"Yep, I may just be"
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"the best known Abraham in history."
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"So, Abe, what else you got for me?"
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"Ooh, I was working as a shoeshine boy"
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"at Springfield Union Station."
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"* *"
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"Every Monday, the Tinseltown Starliner would stop"
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"at 1:17 p.m. on its way to Hollywood."
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"I never rode that train,"
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"but I'd palaver with the movie stars"
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"when they got out to stretch their legs."
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"Hiya!"
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"(clicking)"
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"But none was more memorable than..."
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"Looks like someone has seen my work"
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"as an extra in Du Barry, Woman Of Passion."
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"I sure have, Mr. Gable."
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"How come you ain't a star yet?"
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"Maybe my ears are too big. I don't know."
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"(laughs)"
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"Hey, what you reading there? Oh, it's called"
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"It's only got one swear word, and not a very good one."
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"Gone with the Wind, eh?"
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"Well, let's see: garbage, garbage, my line."
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"Garbage, garbage, my line."
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"Atlanta burns, nice dresses. I like it!"
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"Thanks, kid."
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"Don't tell this story to anyone for 60 years."
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""Clark Gable owes me a book."
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""And he never paid me for the shoeshine."
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""But his big blue eyes could melt the butter"
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""you kept in your pocket for lunch."
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"Lunch butter we called it.""
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"How come Grampa never shared those stories with us?"
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"He does all the time."
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"You just never listen."
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"Marge, my brain is like a computer,"
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"and I file away Grampa's stories in a very special place."
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"(crunching)"
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"Hmm, while I'm up there."
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"(crunching)"
The Simpsons
"(dings)"
The Simpsons
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