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Clips from Friends - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS (S05E05)

"Come in."
Friends
"Aha. That one!"
Friends
"Okay, um... Okay, um..."
Friends
"I don't care if I said some other girl's name, you prissy old twit!"
Friends
"Way to suck up to the family!"
Friends
"- Hey - Oh, no, no! Vomit tux! No, no! Vomit tux!"
Friends
"Who vomited on..."
Friends
"You know what? What you up to, Joe?"
Friends
"That's great!"
Friends
"That's the kind of math Joey likes to do."
Friends
"Oh, PBS!"
Friends
"- What's wrong with PBS? - What's right with them?"
Friends
"A lot of those Muppets don't have thumbs."
Friends
"It was a nice thing, but it made you feel good, right?"
Friends
"Yeah, so?"
Friends
"Look, there's no unselfish good deeds. Sorry."
Friends
"Yes, there are totally good deeds that are selfless!"
Friends
"No, you may not!"
Friends
"Okay?"
Friends
"I'm gonna find a selfless good deed. I'm going to beat you, you evil genius!"
Friends
"Hi."
Friends
"I'm only ringing to say stop harassing my relatives. Goodbye."
Friends
"Really? About what?"
Friends
"You know, I love you."
Friends
"When you said "the deal with Santa Claus," you meant?"
Friends
"That he doesn't exist."
Friends
"Right."
Friends
"That's what you heard? You said that?"
Friends
"And you! You lucky dog!"
Friends
"I'm sure your ex-wife would be more than happy to move to another country..."
Friends
"No, you answer it and take pledges."
Friends
"But I'm the host."
Friends
"Then I felt wonderful. That old jackass!"
Friends
"Hey, Monica? Can I ask you a cooking question?"
Friends
"All right, Emily."
Friends
"You have to, so we can work this out together."
Friends
"Emily, that is so great!"
Friends
"I love you."
Friends
"Only if I promise never to see Rachel again."
Friends
"But he can't not see Emily, I mean that's his wife!"
Friends
"- Now I got the legs. - Aw! Aw!"
Friends
"- Hi, Chandler. - Hey."
Friends
"The bee is happy, and I am definitely not."
Friends
"And we're on three, two..."
Friends
"Welcome back to our fall telethon."
Friends
"...or I keep my friend and get divorced for the second time before I'm 30."
Friends
""Ask Again Later.""
Friends
"What the hell?"
Friends
"Seems like it works to me."
Friends
"...by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it."
Friends
"So there! A selfless good deed."
Friends
"No, it sucks. I was saving up to buy a hamster."
Friends
"Oh, no!"
Friends
"Look..."
Friends
"I was nothing before you."
Friends
"But when I'm with you, and we're together..."
Friends
"...oh, my God!"
Friends
"- Really? - Oh, my God!"
Friends
"- Yeah, why don't we lose the gloves? - Yeah."
Friends
"Hi. You ready? We're going to be late."
Friends
"Like what?"
Friends
"Just stuff."
Friends
"You know, kind of what Emily wants."
Friends
"Why don't you talk to me about it? Maybe I can help."
Friends
"I mean, I kind of have to do this without your help."
Friends
"Thanks."
Friends
"...just give it to her."
Friends
"The bottom line is that you love her."
Friends
"Hi, sweetie."
Friends
"...about that thing you wanted me to do..."
Friends
"...and I can do it."
Friends
"I've been waiting for you."
Friends
"Hi, I just..."
Friends
"Ah! Oh, my God! Monica!"
Friends
"Oh, my God!"
Friends
"I'm sorry! I was..."
Friends
"I was taking a nap."
Friends
"Since when do you take naps in that position?"
Friends
"Tell me you were waiting for a guy. Please tell me."
Friends
"Yes, I was. A guy."
Friends
"From work."
Friends
"I'm seeing a guy from work! Ha!"
Friends
"That cute waiter guy from your restaurant."
Friends
"The one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?"
Friends
"Give me a second. I'll be out of your hair. I'm just going to grab a jacket."
Friends
"When I get back, I want every little detail."
Friends
"It's just Joey and Ross."
Friends
"We were, but Ross was talking so loud on his phone, they threw us out."
Friends
"No. He's calling everyone on her side of the family..."
Friends
"...hoping someone will help him get in touch with her."
Friends
"Ross."
Friends
"I'm so glad you're all here. My office finally got wrinkle-free fax paper!"
Friends
"Don't worry, I had it dry-cleaned."
Friends
"Vomit tux?"
Friends
"And my agent got me a job as co-host!"
Friends
"A little good deed for PBS, plus some TV exposure."
Friends
"Why don't you like PBS?"
Friends
"So I just thought it would make me feel better if I wrote to Sesame Street."
Friends
"Because they were so nice when I was a little kid."
Friends
"I'm sorry, Pheebs."
Friends
"This isn't a good deed. You just want to get on TV. This is totally selfish."
Friends
"Whoa, whoa, whoa."
Friends
"What about you having those babies for your brother?"
Friends
"Talk about selfish!"
Friends
"What are you talking about?"
Friends
"It made you feel good so that makes it selfish."
Friends
"May I ask for one example?"
Friends
"Yeah, it's... You know, there's..."
Friends
"That's because all people are selfish."
Friends
"Are you calling me selfish?"
Friends
"Are you calling you people?"
Friends
"Sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist."
Friends
"And you know the deal on Santa Claus, right?"
Friends
"- Hello? - Hello, Ross?"
Friends
"Emily?"
Friends
"It's Emily, everyone! Shh! Shh! Shh!"
Friends
"Wait! Okay, okay, you can hang up, but I'll keep calling everyone in England..."
Friends
"...if that's what it takes to get you to talk to me."
Friends
"Look, you're my wife. We're married."
Friends
"I really miss you."
Friends
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