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Clips from 30 Rock - The Moms (S04E04)

"I'll be circling the globe in my coffin rocket."
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"I'm just trying to help."
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"No, that's not..."
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"♪ with a frown in your pocket ♪"
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"♪ Don't go to bed with a frown ♪"
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"Stay tuned for a special Mother's Day edition"
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"Uh, what is this?"
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"Budget approval for travel and hotels for the moms."
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"The moms? What moms?"
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"to reair the pilot of Bitch Hunter."
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"There's still time."
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"Jonathan."
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"Jonathan."
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"Call the florist and order a dozen..."
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"Hey."
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"Why isn't my beautiful Frank up on the wall?"
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"That's just for the actors."
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"Huh."
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"Here's a picture you can use."
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"getting ready for the senior prom."
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"Thank you."
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"Mom, what are you doing?"
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"Honey, nothing is free."
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"Yeah, that's happening a lot."
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"Hey, Verna."
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"when the girls lived in Chicago."
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"You must have me confused with someone else."
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"I have never been to Chicago."
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"I sexually assaulted Scottie Pippen in 1997."
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"and we haven't been able to track down your mom."
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"Look, I don't want you to be alone up there"
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"what if I hire an actress to play your mom?"
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"Okay, but whoever she is"
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"needs to be someone as amazing as I am."
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"I'm not here about Mother's Day, John Francis."
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"You know who's in my water aerobics class"
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"Yes, mother."
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"I memorized the names of everyone"
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"Whose sister runs the Friday night bingo game"
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"Turns out last week that the game was won by Anne O'Connor,"
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"who mentioned that her niece, Nancy Donovan,"
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"with a hot-shot in New York City who pours scotch like a woman."
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"If I don't always share my personal life with you, Colleen,"
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"I've shown an interest in."
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"Now, that's not true."
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"In the meantime, Kenneth, here, will, uh..."
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"entertain you."
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"Okay, Kenneth."
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"Entertain me."
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"♪ Oh, the fiddle's in the creek ♪"
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"♪ and the frog's in the kitchen ♪"
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"That is not a song."
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"You make me very nervous."
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"Hey, Lutz."
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"This is my mom, Miho."
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"Oh, hi."
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"I didn't know you were adopted."
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"Mom, this is Lee."
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"Got you."
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"That won't be necessary."
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"I brought some real cute duds."
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"Excuse me."
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"My friend has to go strangle her Anxiety Pillow."
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"How do you get credit at a mattress store?"
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"You know, my Johnny's single."
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"And he gives excellent backrubs, I can assure you."
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"But I just haven't met "the one" yet."
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"Oh, for crying out loud, Liz."
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"You see, that's what feminism does."
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"It makes smart girls with nice birthing shapes"
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"believe in fairy tales."
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"Stop waiting for your prince, Liz."
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"I'm not waiting for a prince."
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"I'm waiting for Astronaut Mike Dexter."
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"Oh, sweet lord in heaven."
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"Who turns out to be the secret King of Monaco."
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"Liz, you're almost 40."
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"You're not going to find some new kind of man."
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"Whoever "the one" is, you've probably already met him."
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"You're 40?"
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"John is looking for a..."
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"I'm glad to see you're here upholding"
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"Oh, yeah."
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"Listening, giving advice,"
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"But I need you to hold up your end."
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"Uh, that was a down payment, Verna."
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"your Mother's Day duties."
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"That's kind of a problem for me."
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"'Cause I already spent that down payment"
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"It's not an implant."
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"It's just a little yank-up, you know?"
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"I mean, I got the meat, Jack."
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"Feel the difference."
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"Very different, indeed."
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"and a Ziploc bag of mushroom soup."
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"But you're not getting the rest of that money"
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"until you give Jenna all the Mother's Day love she deserves."
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"Is she Aquaman's girlfriend?"
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"That could be anyone!"
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"We all look the same to me."
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"Is she famous?"
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"You'd probably know her best"
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"Who cares?"
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"I want Serena Williams to be my mother."
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"The woman has been in the business for 40 years."
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"I think she's good enough for the star of Sherlock Homie."
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"I don't want to talk about Nancy Donovan."
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"I want to talk about the little, blonde girl"
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"A mother knows, Jackie."
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"Are you going up?"
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"Oh, I forgot my phone."
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"At the same time?"
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"I didn't choose for it to happen like this."
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"Be a man and pick one."
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"They both give me different things."
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"The other inspires..."
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"Just listen to yourself, Jack."
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"But it's my gay problem."
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"And I'm handling it."
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"We're ready to order now."
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