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Clips from Broad City - Florida (S04E04)

"Oh, own it, boi. Enjoy your beautiful body in a tropical climate."
Broad City
"So much better than disgusting N-Y-C."
Broad City
"I didn't say it was, like, a complicated plan."
Broad City
"Too hot!"
Broad City
"Respect."
Broad City
"Excuse me, are you the new on-site mortician?"
Broad City
"I just loved Doris' eyebrows at her service yesterday."
Broad City
"Uh, no, we, uh... We broke up, actually."
Broad City
"Good for you."
Broad City
"(LAUGHS) The gun holder."
Broad City
"BEV: Pearls. BOBBl: Crap."
Broad City
"Ersatz ruby from Little Richard."
Broad City
"Let's just cut the crap, Princess Ticklefeather."
Broad City
"Let's talk about the ring."
Broad City
"You bet your ass I do."
Broad City
"I'm ever gonna have at this point."
Broad City
"Mommy would've wanted that ring to go to Ilana,"
Broad City
"her only granddaughter, or Eliot even!"
Broad City
"So, now I'm being punished because I don't have children?"
Broad City
"- Drama queen. - You know, I still may."
Broad City
"Sunshine, warmth, greenery."
Broad City
"Oh, my God, is that an orange tree?"
Broad City
"So legit, from "Mutta" Earth, baby."
Broad City
"Real fruit that hasn't already been licked by a bodega cat?"
Broad City
"- Nuts. - Nuts!"
Broad City
"Of course you do."
Broad City
"You don't have the city grinding you down,"
Broad City
"There's not danger lurking at every corner."
Broad City
"- and New York is the cocaine. - Yeah."
Broad City
"Richard Pryor, dude."
Broad City
"Pam Grier found an actual buildup of cocaine on her cervix"
Broad City
"'cause Richard used to, like, dip his dick in coke before they had sex"
Broad City
"so that it would take him longer to come. But, it's, like, just come, man."
Broad City
"Instead of enjoying it now, we're just suffering through it"
Broad City
"so in 40 years, we can say, "We did that! We lived there!""
Broad City
"But until then, we're just getting constantly fucked"
Broad City
"Oh, an open house. We should go tomorrow. I bet they'll have free cookies."
Broad City
"Yeah, I bet they'll have a free toilet!"
Broad City
"Oh, let's go."
Broad City
"Hello."
Broad City
"- Hi. - Hello, sir."
Broad City
"Oh, my gosh, Ilana, look at... The kitchen is its own room and the windows..."
Broad City
"It's a home."
Broad City
"- Oh, a home. - We don't have those."
Broad City
"- A lanai, prune juice on tap. - (GASPS)"
Broad City
"$425."
Broad City
"425 a night, yeah, times 30 nights, that's $12,000 a month."
Broad City
"No, $425 a month."
Broad City
"Ugh."
Broad City
"- I could see us living here. - Dying here."
Broad City
"I think that we could put, like, the sofa... They have a lot of..."
Broad City
"- to rent in this community. - Oh!"
Broad City
"But you are a Darlington Lakes legacy."
Broad City
"We could sign a year-Iong lease right now."
Broad City
"Listen, there's already another couple who's interested."
Broad City
"But why don't you go ahead and apply?"
Broad City
"There's a board meeting on Thursday night where the, uh,"
Broad City
"You'll have to convince them that you're the right fit."
Broad City
"- Thank you, sir. - You're welcome."
Broad City
"Okay, are we doing this? Are we moving to Florida?"
Broad City
"Yeah, I don't wanna rise and grind anymore."
Broad City
"I wanna rise and then, like, lay right back down."
Broad City
"- We're moving to Florida. - (BOTH LAUGHING)"
Broad City
"If we're gonna impress all these old people, we got a lot of work to do."
Broad City
"Oof, it is net-twerking time, Gaga."
Broad City
"Oh, shove it, Edna."
Broad City
"That was on the line, and you know it."
Broad City
"Girls, you saw it. You make the call."
Broad City
"I can't tell who has more power in the community."
Broad City
"Um..."
Broad City
"Well, Edna looks like she's wearing a really expensive skirt."
Broad City
"So, like a bully."
Broad City
"You know what?"
Broad City
"I don't think we can choose. We need both votes."
Broad City
"You're the pretty one. It's the right thing to do."
Broad City
"(SIGHS)"
Broad City
"You're the one with the incredible body and that slammin' tuchus."
Broad City
"It's the right thing to do."
Broad City
"Maybe you're right. We've been friends since we're 16 years old."
Broad City
"I got to fuck JFK, and she didn't."
Broad City
"Women have been treated horrible"
Broad City
"up until this time and including this time."
Broad City
"So, could we call it a tie?"
Broad City
"(SCATTING)"
Broad City
"(APPLAUSE)"
Broad City
"MAN: Thank you for calling North American Airlines. How may I assist you?"
Broad City
"Oh, so sorry, this is misplaced baggage."
Broad City
"What, no, how are those different?"
Broad City
"Fuck!"
Broad City
"- Yo, Fabio. - Jesus, Mom!"
Broad City
"Why don't you make yourself useful and either help me pack or thump me?"
Broad City
"- I'm having a very bad day. - Thump you?"
Broad City
"Dealing with your Aunt Bev is destroying my neck."
Broad City
"- She's a pain in my ass. - (SIGHS)"
Broad City
"- Mom... - Oh!"
Broad City
"All right, fuck you."
Broad City
"Fuck you!"
Broad City
"Dude, we are frickin' nailing this."
Broad City
"Yeah, I feel like they're really starting to like us."
Broad City
"- I already got three marriage proposals. - Ah!"
Broad City
"- Yeah, I can't wait to live here. - Me neither."
Broad City
"It is literally, like, blue skies are smiling at me."
Broad City
"- Oh. - (PLANE ENGINE OVERHEAD)"
Broad City
"And our pipes in our apartment just froze and burst... Again."
Broad City
"but if we move here, our votes could swing the state."
Broad City
"Oh, okay, now we can't not."
Broad City
"Head up to "Pube-icks," AKA Publix,"
Broad City
"The Darlington Lakes Executive Board"
Broad City
"will now confer to make a decision"
Broad City
"regarding the new tenants."
Broad City
"We've reached a decision."
Broad City
"- That was really fast. - Okay."
Broad City
"Congratulations, ladies!"
Broad City
"- Oh! - Oh, my God."
Broad City
"You're the new residents at Darlington Lakes."
Broad City
"Thank you guys so much, you're so cute."
Broad City
"We are family now!"
Broad City
"Yeah, you won't be sorry, we promise."
Broad City
"Well, we'd rather have two young Jewish dykes"
Broad City
"(APPLAUSE)"
Broad City
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