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Clips from Modern Family (2009) - Unplugged (S02E02)

"- Now you're making jokes? - I'm not making a joke."
Modern Family (2009)
"Really? What's the difference between a gamete and a zygote?"
Modern Family (2009)
"- Don't fall for it, Claire. She's just making up words. - Huh."
Modern Family (2009)
"That's it. I need the Internet."
Modern Family (2009)
"I'm out of your stupid contest."
Modern Family (2009)
"Hmm."
Modern Family (2009)
"And then there were three."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Hey, buddy. What you reading?"
Modern Family (2009)
"- The Old Man and the Sea. - You like it?"
Modern Family (2009)
"- I like that Hemingway gets to the point. - You read a lot of his stuff?"
Modern Family (2009)
"- That was a hint, Jay. - Oh."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, okay."
Modern Family (2009)
"I wanna ask you something, between you and me."
Modern Family (2009)
"You wanna know if I think my mom did something to that dog."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Don't most kids drink soda? - Who knows what they do?"
Modern Family (2009)
"So. Your mom."
Modern Family (2009)
"Jay, I have learned a few things in my 12 years."
Modern Family (2009)
"Don't compliment a teacher on her figure."
Modern Family (2009)
"And when it comes to my mom..."
Modern Family (2009)
"never ask questions I don't want the answers to."
Modern Family (2009)
"I don't buy it. A sensitive kid like you..."
Modern Family (2009)
"I think you want to know every bit as much as I do."
Modern Family (2009)
"- You're wrong."
Modern Family (2009)
"Then why is your hand shaking?"
Modern Family (2009)
"This is my fifth one of these today."
Modern Family (2009)
"- I-I may have a problem. - Okay. That's enough."
Modern Family (2009)
"Yeah, my life partner and I will see you then."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Okay, th-thank you. - Since when do you call me your "life partner"?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Since a spot opened up at Billingsley Academy."
Modern Family (2009)
"But I like Wagon Wheel. It had all the duckies."
Modern Family (2009)
"And it reminded me of where I went in Missouri."
Modern Family (2009)
"Cam, everyone goes to Billingsley for a reason."
Modern Family (2009)
"- It's the Harvard of preschools. - She's not even two years old yet."
Modern Family (2009)
"She doesn't need the Harvard of preschools."
Modern Family (2009)
"She needs finger painting and duckies."
Modern Family (2009)
"I'm begging you to please just say "ducks.""
Modern Family (2009)
"- Hello."
Modern Family (2009)
"Great news. Wagon Wheel loved you."
Modern Family (2009)
"- You're in. - Oh."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Wagon Wheel wants us. - Oh, yes!"
Modern Family (2009)
"That's great and everything, but actually..."
Modern Family (2009)
"we have an appointment tomorrow at Billingsley."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Really? - Yeah. Apparently, we are in very high demand."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh. Well, just so you know, I don't think Wagon Wheel's gonna hold a place for you."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, I think we're gonna take our chance."
Modern Family (2009)
"Take our chance? That sounds chancy."
Modern Family (2009)
"You know, Mitchell, you were the one who called me in a panic."
Modern Family (2009)
"You were the one who needed me to get you in."
Modern Family (2009)
"I'm sorry, Claire. I didn't mean to put you out."
Modern Family (2009)
"But let's not get too dramatic. You wrote an e-mail."
Modern Family (2009)
"It wasn't an e-mail."
Modern Family (2009)
"It was a phone call... from a landline."
Modern Family (2009)
"- What did you do? - What's best for Lily."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Did you? - This is the first time being gay is a competitive advantage."
Modern Family (2009)
"They're choosing teams for gym class, and we're finally getting picked first."
Modern Family (2009)
"But I see your point."
Modern Family (2009)
"- What are you doing out here? - You got in my head about my mom."
Modern Family (2009)
"Is that the rat shovel?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Yeah."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Are you checking it for signs of dog? - I was going to."
Modern Family (2009)
"Let's do this quick."
Modern Family (2009)
"If she catches us, we're as dead as that dog probably is."
Modern Family (2009)
"- What are you doing here? - Nothing."
Modern Family (2009)
"Why are you looking at that shovel?"
Modern Family (2009)
"- He thinks you killed the dog! - You little rat."
Modern Family (2009)
"Don't call me a rat! She kills rats!"
Modern Family (2009)
"- You really think that I would kill a dog? - What was I supposed to think?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I don't know. How about... I didn't kill a dog?"
Modern Family (2009)
"- Just tell me what you did with it. - He's in a better place."
Modern Family (2009)
"- That's what people say when something's dead. - Okay, fine."
Modern Family (2009)
"I took him to a farm where he has plenty of room to run."
Modern Family (2009)
"That's the second thing people say when something's dead."
Modern Family (2009)
"My hairdresser's brother has three kids. They live in the country."
Modern Family (2009)
"They were so happy to have the dog that they gave me a jar of pickles."
Modern Family (2009)
"Is that also what they say when something is dead?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Really?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Look. Look how happy they are..."
Modern Family (2009)
"instead of him being tied to a tree outside with no one to talk to."
Modern Family (2009)
"Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog."
Modern Family (2009)
"- No. - Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you."
Modern Family (2009)
"Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay, it worked out this time, but don't forget that stealing is against the law."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Now maybe in Colombia... - Ah, here we go."
Modern Family (2009)
"Because in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street."
Modern Family (2009)
"Do you know how offensive that is?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Like we're Peruvians!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Reservations."
Modern Family (2009)
"Even though we had sworn off the Internet, the rest of the world hadn't."
Modern Family (2009)
"Domestic."
Modern Family (2009)
"Representative."
Modern Family (2009)
"Representative! Representative! Representative!"
Modern Family (2009)
"You've got mail."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Really, Claire? - You don't understand."
Modern Family (2009)
"I was trying to deal with our plane tickets to visit your family."
Modern Family (2009)
"Please stop. You're just embarrassing yourself."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, it looks like it's just you and me, old man."
Modern Family (2009)
"Bring it."
Modern Family (2009)
"And finally, here we are back at the office."
Modern Family (2009)
"I will let Mr. Plympton know that you're here."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Thank you. - Yes, thank you."
Modern Family (2009)
"- This place is amazing."
Modern Family (2009)
"- I told you. - It's like Hogwarts!"
Modern Family (2009)
"The, uh... the ladybug sanctuary."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Oh, my gosh. The little cobblestones. - So sweet, I know."
Modern Family (2009)
"Screw the duckies. We belong here."
Modern Family (2009)
"- We're queer. We're here. - Yes, we are."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay, just a few more minutes."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Thank you. - Yes. Thank you."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Hi. I'm Stephanie Kaner, and this is Jafar. - Hi."
Modern Family (2009)
"- And we have an interview with Mr. Plympton. - Wonderful. These two are first."
Modern Family (2009)
"Single white mother. Black child."
Modern Family (2009)
"So what? Lily's Asian. We're gay."
Modern Family (2009)
"In the school admissions poker game, we're the winning hand."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, honey, sorry."
Modern Family (2009)
"- My partner, Kavita. - Hi. Nice to meet you."
Modern Family (2009)
"Hello. Nice to meet you. It'll be just a few minutes."
Modern Family (2009)
"Disabled interracial lesbians with an African kicker?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Did not see that coming."
Modern Family (2009)
"Miss that sound."
Modern Family (2009)
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