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Clips from New Girl - Pepperwood (S02E02)

"[BOTH SCREAMING]"
New Girl
"My eyes."
New Girl
"My giant eyes!"
New Girl
"You thought I was a murderer? You thought I was a murderer of people?"
New Girl
"- You said you were gonna kill me, I don't know. - Your character."
New Girl
"- In my graphic novel. - He's an excellent artist."
New Girl
"Okay, but your drawings, they don't have any eyes."
New Girl
"- Can't draw eyes. It's weird. - Can't draw eyes."
New Girl
"- There's a reason for everything. - What about the bag?"
New Girl
"- Don't ask about the bag. - Don't ask about the bag. Bitch."
New Girl
"- Whoa! Hey, man. - Whoa!"
New Girl
"Hey, take this as a compliment, pal, your stories are so real."
New Girl
"Well, it's because of what you taught me."
New Girl
"You listened?"
New Girl
"Well, of course I listened, you were a good teacher."
New Girl
"Until you thought I was a murderer and you broke into my shed."
New Girl
"You were my favorite student until I thought you were a murderer."
New Girl
"Your son's a really great writer."
New Girl
"- He's not my son. - Oh!"
New Girl
"Are you kidding? Really?"
New Girl
"EDGAR: Real nice, you two."
New Girl
"Come here, baby."
New Girl
"Oh, my God, you smell like waffles. I love it, did you just make some waffles?"
New Girl
"- Wanna eat me up? - Yes, I do."
New Girl
"I'll meet you inside, I'm gonna get the bag."
New Girl
"- Yes, do. - Okay."
New Girl
"- Hey, Nick. What are you doing up? - Just taking care of myself."
New Girl
"- Are you putting butter on bacon? - I don't want it to stick to the pan."
New Girl
"Okay, did you...?"
New Girl
"Great, that's just what bacon needs, more fat."
New Girl
"And salt. What's this?"
New Girl
"- Don't read that, I'm not finished... - "Julius Pepperwood..."
New Girl
"...Zombie Detective"?"
New Girl
"- I'm working on it. - "The night was inky hot.""
New Girl
"- Don't do this. - "She strode into his office..."
New Girl
"...with a sense of purpose, place."
New Girl
"- Another word here?" - I'm looking for another P word there."
New Girl
""She had zombie legs that went on for miles."
New Girl
"They were the kind of legs you could sink your teeth into."
New Girl
"Pepperwood had two friends."
New Girl
"One if you count his hat."
New Girl
"The other was his gal Friday, Jessica Night.""
New Girl
"It's not you, Jess."
New Girl
""She was small in stature, but not in spunk and a super annoying know-it-all.""
New Girl
"- Good evening. JESS: Hello."
New Girl
"Mm, bacon."
New Girl
"- Where the hell did you come from? - I came from my room."
New Girl
"NICK: I didn't hear the pitter-patter of disgusting feet."
New Girl
"Cut my toenails. And the soaking really worked. Look."
New Girl
"They're gorgeous now. Went down a full shoe size."
New Girl
"Guys, fire!"
New Girl
"- My God. NICK: Everybody, relax."
New Girl
"- Call the firemen. WINSTON: You call the firemen."
New Girl
"You can't put out a grease fire with water, you have to smother it."
New Girl
"- You're so stupid. - Shut up."
New Girl
"Whoo!"
New Girl
"SCHMIDT: Nice. - Yeah."
New Girl
"NICK: Amazing, my man. Whoa!"
New Girl
"I didn't know you were gonna put your arm around me. I'm so sorry."
New Girl
"WINSTON: It's involuntary."
New Girl
"It is a combination of adrenaline and great circulation."
New Girl
"And I'd appreciate it if you don't just hug me randomly. That's weird and..."
New Girl
"[NICK & SCHMIDT CHUCKLE]"
New Girl
"You ever notice when Winston runs that he kind of farts while he's running?"
New Girl
"Yes. Sounds like a jalopy."
New Girl
"- New pogo. - Yes."
New Girl
"Oh, we got a great new pogo."
New Girl
"He farts when he runs."
New Girl
"[MAKING FLATULENCE SOUNDS]"
New Girl
"This week I gave them an assignment. Write whatever you want."
New Girl
"Writers don't read. We write."
New Girl
"So no one has signed up for office hours."
New Girl
"NICK [WHISPERS]: No, no, no."
New Girl
"- Yeah, not even close, Schmidt. - What are you talking...? I know this is it, man."
New Girl
"NICK: I was right. - Oh, my God."
New Girl
"Nick. Pepperwood. Nick."
New Girl
"- Why didn't you say that before? - Don't wanna be a know-it-all."
New Girl
"Oh, you put up your pup tent in front of the fire."
New Girl
"[SCHMIDT GASPS]"
New Girl
"Pogo king."
New Girl
"- Severe clogging. - Sorry I asked."
New Girl
"Wednesday I gotta go to the bird store."
New Girl