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Clips from The Muppet Show (1976) - Edgar Bergen (S02E02)

"In fact, I once tried to race some frogs, see."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I'm not sure I want to hear this."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, you'll get it anyway."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"And I'd... I'd have the jump on everybody."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Yes, I do, Bergen. I can read your lips."
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"Oh."
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"That burns him up."
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"Well, I am acting natural."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Ha-ha-ha."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"If you're gonna do jokes like that,"
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"Yes, we will."
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"Relaxed guests?"
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"No, song cues."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[♪ Consider Yourself]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Not me."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"So what? Who cares?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Not me. I'm driving."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Check."
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"[clucking]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Here's the bacon to go with the eggs."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Bergen, this isn't a television show, this is a zoo."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oink-oink."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Cluck-cluck."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[applause]"
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"[reporter] Here is a Muppets news flash."
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"Dateline, The Muppet Show, an embarrassing situation developed today"
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"when the Muppet news reporter accidentally went on camera"
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"forgetting to put on his pants..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh. [clears throat] Oh, good grief."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[Kermit] And now, in a feat of grand daring never before seen on this planet,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"the great Gonzo will attempt to wrestle a six-pound red brick"
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"while completely blindfolded."
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"- [bell dings] - [cheering]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[sniffs]"
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"Hiyah!"
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"No."
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"Ahh. [sniffing]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Hiyah!"
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"OK, put the Pigs in Space set onstage please."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Kermit, you promised me a welterweight brick."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, yeah."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Scooter, would you find Captain Hogthrob"
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"and tell him to stand by?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Kermit, where's the glue?"
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"It's in the office. Where's Piggy?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"and do you have any black cloth."
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"Fozzie, I'm trying to run a show here."
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"I know, Kermit, but I'm on in a few minutes"
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"and my act's not ready."
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"Well, what act is that, Fozzie?"
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"Well, you know how Edgar Bergen gets screams of laughter"
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"just by talking with Charlie McCarthy?"
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"Yeah, so?"
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"Me and Chucky'll knock 'em dead tonight."
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"There he goes, the dummy and his dummy."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[man] And now, Pigs in Space!"
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"the flappable first mate, Miss Piggy"
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"and the inexplicable Dr. Strangepork."
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"As we left our heroes last time"
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"the spaceship Swinetrek was"
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"on the verge of a hideous catastrophe."
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"Dr. Strangepork, who can save us from this hideous catastrophe."
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"the only person who's had the necessary training to save us"
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"is First Mate Piggy."
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"[gasps] Oh, I am ready to do whatever is necessary"
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"to save the Swinetrek and her crew."
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"I am at the service of all porkdom."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"What is my assignment?"
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"Miss Piggy,"
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"you and you alone can operate the independent heating,"
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"slash, unifying element across the horizontal equalizing plane"
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"Oh. I am ready, my captain."
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"Excellent. Bring in the equipment for Miss Piggy."
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"[electronic tone]"
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"But what is this?"
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"Well, of course. Nobody on the crew"
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"has had clean laundry for a week."
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"That is correct. We are all living like pigs."
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"An astute observation, doctor."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You wanna play a little touch football,"
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"toss the old pigskin around?"
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"Oh, one more thing, Miss Piggy."
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"A little less starch in the pajamas, OK?"
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"Oh, yeah? Well, starch this, sausage snout!"
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"for another iron-fisted episode of"
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"Pigs in Space!"
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"[♪ Show Me a Rose]"
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"[applause]"
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"Excuse me, Mr. Bergen, could I come in and talk for a minute?"
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"- Of course you can, Fozzie. - Oh, good."
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"And it's good to see you again."
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"You know Mortimer Snerd of course."
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"Oh."
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"well, of course I recognize"
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"this charming, handsome-looking gentleman."
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"- Yawww. [chuckling] - Ahhh."
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"Well, Mortimer, you know who he is, surely."
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"Oh, yeah. Hello, Shirley."
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"No, no, my name is Fozzie."
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"Yeah, that's right, Shirley Fozzie."
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"[chuckling] Listen, Mortimer, I didn't even know you were here."
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"Was I here yesterday?"
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"Well, then probably I'm not here today. I don't travel too much."
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"Listen, Mr. Bergen..."
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"Am I supposed to be here."
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"Of course."
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"You have to excuse Mortimer. He's a little bit slow."
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"[Mortimer chuckling]"
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"Yeah, it's probably why I'm not here yet."
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"Wait, what do you mean, Mortimer?"
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"Well, if I were faster I'd be here by now."
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"Listen, Mortimer, take my word for it. You are here."
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"Well, thank goodness."
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"- Are you through? - No, I'm here."
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"Yeah, all right."
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"Mortimer, haven't you any brains at all?"
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"Well, well, not with me, no."
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"I'll ignore that. Fozzie, what can I do for you?"
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"Oh, well, Mr. Bergen, see,"
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"my spot in the show is on in just a minute"
The Muppet Show (1976)
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