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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - Vehicular Fellatio (S07E07)

"- No, it's cold sore. It's "I'm choking." - That's cold sore?"
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"That's an I'm-eating- corn-on-the-cob thing."
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"Kiss her goodbye? She's got your semen on her lips. I'm not gonna kiss her."
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"- She had my semen on her lips. - Yes! Yeah, secondhand semen."
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"You can't be a homosexual by proxy."
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"It's probably in the fucking constitution."
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"I think you can be gay by proxy."
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"- Christ. - Anyway, sorry."
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"How am I going to get home by the way?"
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"Can I tell you something? I'm very excited about this lecture."
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"How often do you get to listen to somebody this smart?"
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"Not even smart, brilliant. She's brilliant."
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"I get it. You were impressed. Okay?"
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"Enough with the Dr. trundle and the brilliance."
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"I get your point, okay?"
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"Hey, Dr. trundle's husband."
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"Yeah. I remember him from the picture."
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"Yeah, right. Yeah, I saw him yesterday in the reception area."
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"Really? - Yeah. He's probably on his way to the lecture."
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"Is that Dr. trundle?!"
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"Go... it..."
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"I.d., is she giving him a blowjob?!"
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"- Wow. - Loretta: Oh no."
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"Oh, no no no no no no no no no, l.D."
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"- I want you to turn this car around. - What?"
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"- Turn the car around! - So what? So she's giving him a blowjob."
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"- What's the big deal? - No no no! I can't trust a woman like that"
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"to cure my cancer, doing something like that in the car!"
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"- Are you kidding me? - She must've been doing it for therapeutic reasons."
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"- I want you to take me home, l.D. - The lecture!"
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"L.d., turn this car around."
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"Could you please give this to Dean weinstock? He's a patient here."
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"Hi, what a surprise."
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"I would love to talk to you. Do you have a minute?"
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"Sure. Great. We'll go back to my office."
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"- Melissa, would you hold all the calls, please? - Sure, Dr. trundle."
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"This way."
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"Come on in."
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"I wanted to tell you how disappointed I was"
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"And I think the reason that you weren't there"
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"that I am going to recommend that she leave the relationship."
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"That terrifies you and that's why"
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"you didn't want her to be there."
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"No no, that's the furthest thing from the truth."
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"I have a lot of experience with this,"
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"and I find that men often have this reaction."
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"It's certainly understandable. It's very threatening."
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"and I'm saying something that you just don't want to hear."
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"It's not true. I reject your hypothesis."
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"Why didn't she come to the lecture?"
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"- You really want to know why? - Of course I do."
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"Okay, I'm going to tell you."
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"We were driving to the lecture, we were on our way..."
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"- Mm-hmm. - And then"
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"I noticed your husband in the car ahead of us."
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"and Loretta decided that she didn't want anything to do"
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"with a doctor who would, you know, do that."
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"Who would do what?"
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"Come on."
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"Oh my god."
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"My husband was driving the car,"
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"and yes, I dropped my cell phone on his side of the car,"
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"An awful long time to look for the cell phone."
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"- I don't know. - You are exactly the kind of man"
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"- I'm talking about in this book. - Me?!"
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"Yes. You are a tiny,"
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"little, insecure, infantile mind"
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"of about a 12-year-old!"
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"- I think you blew him. - Oh my god!"
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"You're out of control! Get him out of my office!"
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"Oh shit. Oh shit."
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"You brought his wife here? You idiot!"
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"- I know, man. I'm sorry. - You see?"
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"- I'm sorry. - Nothing, right? She's not here. See?"
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"I didn't... I didn't mean to run up all in here"
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"yeah, you come up here, rushing up here to a white man's house..."
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"- I'm... - All right, brother."
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"- Boy! Shit. - I'll see you next week though, okay?"
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"- All right. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
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"( Sighs ) it's okay. He's gone."
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"( Sighs ) thank god."
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"( Gasps ) what the hell?!"
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"You got me twisted, I.D., okay?"
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"and next thing you know, you cheating on me?!"
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"you cheating, no-good, bald-headed motherfucker! I'm out!"
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"Fuck you, Larry David! That's some bullshit!"
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"They're gone. We had a big fight."
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"- What? - Yeah."
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"- Huh. - How do you like that?"
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"That's some shit right there. Mmm."
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"So, um..."
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"I guess this means you'll be..."
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"Going upstairs, eat this fucking Chinese food..."
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"Hey, Lewis, it's me."
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"Maybe I'll see you there."
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"Okay, bye."
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"- Jeff?! - ( yells )"
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"- What the hell? - Whoa!"
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"- What are we going to do? - Oy, I can't believe this!"
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"- What the... jeez! - All right! Enough!"
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"Okay, yeah, we know what it is."
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"- Jesus Christ! - All right, stop it!"
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"- Larry... - I'm stuck. I'm stuck."
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"- I can't get the seat belt off. - Can you help us?"
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"- I bought an x-acto knife! - An x-acto knife!"
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"- Great! Go get it! Yeah! - I'll cut the seat belt!"
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"- Susie: Hurry! - I told you those blowjobs were dangerous."
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"Susie: Oh, Jeff, I can't move!"
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"- Jeff: Come on! - Susie: Get it!"
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"- ( Yells ) - susie: Get the fucking knife!"
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"- Jeff: Oh, come on! - Susie: What the fuck is taking so long?"
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"( Theme music playing )"
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"- What was you doing, anyway? - I actually was opening up"
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"I don't know why the guy so depressed with a wife that damn fine."
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"The doctor you have is perfectly fine"
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"Really? - More dangerous than cell phones in my opinion."
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"Don't you guys want a drink? No drinks."
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"- that'll work for you. - I understand."
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"Yeah, I came in for like a shake..."
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"I'm still paying for them even if I replace them,"
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