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Clips from The Muppet Show (1976) - Avery Schreiber (S01E01)

"They shouldn't allow his kind in here."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You're right. He's a lousy dancer."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Boogie, boogie, boogie."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(Animal screams) (girl laughs)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Thank you."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(♪ "May You Always" by Larry Markes and Dick Charles)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ This special time"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ This special place"
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"♪ Is brightened by your special face"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ I wish I may"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ I wish I might"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Have the wish I wish for you tonight"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(all) ♪ May you always walk in sunshine"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Slumber warm when night winds blow"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ May you always live with laughter"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(all) ♪ For a smile becomes you so"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ May good fortune find your doorway"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ May the bluebird sing your song"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ May no trouble travel your way"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(all) ♪ May no worry stay too long"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ May your heartaches be forgotten"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ May no tears be spilled ♪ Tears be spilled"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ May auld acquaintance be remembered"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ May you always be a dreamer"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ May your wildest dreams come true"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ As much as I love"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ You"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(all) ♪ Love you ♪"
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"(all howl)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Hey, Avery, listen, welcome to the show."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"It's really nice to see you again."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I'm glad to see you again, Kermit."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I really feel at home here, you know?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Ah, hello, my love."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Uh, Miss Piggy, listen, I was just trying to talk to Avery."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, please, please, let me just stand here"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"and gaze upon that adorable face."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Ah, well, there's no time for that,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"no matter how adorable you think my face is."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Not your face, El Toado!"
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"His. His?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Ah, Miss Piggy."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, you can call me by my real name,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"which few men have called me."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Pigathius. Pigathius?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Mm. It's from the Greek, meaning "river of passion.""
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh. Miss Piggy. Hm?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You can call me Avery. It's from the Yiddish,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"meaning "hold the mayo.""
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, you can both call me a cab"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"'cause I'm getting out of here, and so are you."
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"What? What's the matter?"
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"I know what's been going on behind my back, but Miss Piggy is my girl."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You're just a guest on this show, just passing through town."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"She loves me, and she's gonna have dinner with me tonight after the show."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Miss Piggy, you and me, alone!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, Avery... Just like I said. It worked, didn't it?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"He really loves me. Oh, thank you so much."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"How about a smacker right on these porker lips, hm?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Kissy, kissy. Well, I-I..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You see, I mean no offense,"
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"but my family never even touched a pig,"
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"much less put their lips to one."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, put your lips to this!"
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"Hi-yah!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"And now, the finest singing team"
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"They are awe-inspiring."
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"In fact, when I hear them sing, I go, "Aw.""
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"Here they are, Wayne and Wanda."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(under his breath) Get it right."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(♪ "Some Enchanted Evening" by Rogers and Hammerstein)"
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"♪ Some enchanted evening"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ You may meet a stranger"
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"♪ You may meet a stranger... ♪"
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"(gulping)"
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"He said "meet," not "eat.""
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, sorry."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(man) And now, "Veterinarian's Hospital,""
The Muppet Show (1976)
"the continuing story of an orthopedic surgeon"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"who's gone to the dogs."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(glass breaks)"
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"Nope, I can't. I just cannot perform this operation."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"But why not, Dr. Bob? Well, frankly, I'm chicken."
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"No, that is a chicken."
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"(clucks)"
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"You're right."
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"Besides, this should be right up your alley."
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"That's true, I am a bird dog."
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"(rim shot)"
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"Are you really? Sure. Every year, I fly south for the winter."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(rim shot)"
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"For that joke that just died in the operating room. (laughs)"
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"So, you see, Doctor, what about your patient?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, we have a choice. We can do a chicken appendectomy,"
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"a chicken tonsillectomy, or a chicken curry fricassee."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(clucks) Whoa."
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"We gotta do something about this turkey. It's a chicken."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I'm a chicken. The sketch is a turkey."
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"(rim shot)"
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"(man) So Dr. Bob has run afoul of a fowl."
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"Tune in next week, when you'll hear Nurse Piggy say..."
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"Many of Dr. Bob's patients are chickens."
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"Why is that?"
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"'Cause he's for the birds."
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"Ten years from now, they'll have forgotten even the best of you."
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"Knute Rockne, 1932."
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"Aw, Kermit, my love, my life."
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"I am sorry if Avery made you jealous."
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"Uh, Fozzie Bear, stand by."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Fozzie Bear, stand by."
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"You are jealous, aren't you? Fozzie, stand by."
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"Uh, no, I'm not. But why?"
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"Fozzie, stand by."
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"Scooter told me it was all a trick."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Scooter, stand by!"
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"(crash)"
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"Nice punt."
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"Who needs ya?!"
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"Flipper face!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"OK, once again, it's time for the king of the one-liners,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
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