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Clips from Superstore (2015) - Safety Training (S03E03)

"I can't believe I have to walk away from $1,000"
Superstore (2015)
"- just because I'm undocumented. - It's so unfair."
Superstore (2015)
"This country was built on the backs of immigrants..."
Superstore (2015)
"I just spoke to corporate. This one time,"
Superstore (2015)
"they're willing to go up to $1,500."
Superstore (2015)
"Final offer, no exceptions."
Superstore (2015)
"Unfortunately, I'm still gonna pass."
Superstore (2015)
"Okay, but $1,500 is as high as they're willing to go."
Superstore (2015)
"I mean, it's $1,500. You understand that, right?"
Superstore (2015)
"I understand. The answer is still no."
Superstore (2015)
"Okay, okay, fine, fine."
Superstore (2015)
"- Whoa! - Holy crap."
Superstore (2015)
"And that's it. That's it, though."
Superstore (2015)
"That's the cap."
Superstore (2015)
"- I thought $1,500 was the cap. - That was the fake cap."
Superstore (2015)
"Technically, we're allowed to go as high as $4,000,"
Superstore (2015)
"- but that is it. - That's the final offer."
Superstore (2015)
"I'm sorry, Jeff, okay? It's still..."
Superstore (2015)
"$6,500, final offer."
Superstore (2015)
"I feel like we have different definitions"
Superstore (2015)
"- of the word "final." - It's not about the money."
Superstore (2015)
"- Okay, the answer is no. - Wow, okay, great."
Superstore (2015)
"Congratulations, you just lost out on $6,500."
Superstore (2015)
"Sweet dreams thinking about that."
Superstore (2015)
"$15,000."
Superstore (2015)
"- I'm Cindy's mom. - Oh, yeah, of course, hi."
Superstore (2015)
"I heard about you and Adam,"
Superstore (2015)
"Oh, yeah, no, everything's great, actually."
Superstore (2015)
"- Thanks for checking. - Amy?"
Superstore (2015)
"I need a urine sample from you."
Superstore (2015)
"Oh, um, I'm sorry, I can just..."
Superstore (2015)
"No, Dina, this isn't really the best time for this."
Superstore (2015)
"Hey, that's what happens when you keep screwing up on the job."
Superstore (2015)
"We have to find out if it's due to drugs"
Superstore (2015)
"or just gross incompetence."
Superstore (2015)
"It's not drugs."
Superstore (2015)
"Hey, this was lovely. So see you at the next PTA."
Superstore (2015)
"Hi, David, I have Mateo Liwanag,"
Superstore (2015)
"the employee who was injured, and Jonah Simms,"
Superstore (2015)
"another employee, for some reason."
Superstore (2015)
"Hey, Mateo, I hear you're refusing"
Superstore (2015)
"to sign the liability waiver."
Superstore (2015)
"A little concerned your lawyer's giving you some bad advice."
Superstore (2015)
"Oh, I'm not a lawyer."
Superstore (2015)
"I just went to a year of business school."
Superstore (2015)
"- Before flunking out. - I'm on your side, you know."
Superstore (2015)
"So look, we're prepared to offer you $50,000."
Superstore (2015)
"- $50,000? - Whoa."
Superstore (2015)
"Uh..."
Superstore (2015)
"- that is a lot of money. - Uh, uh-huh."
Superstore (2015)
"And I wish I could take it. But the truth is,"
Superstore (2015)
"um, I'm not really hurt."
Superstore (2015)
"- David, he's lying. - I'm lying?"
Superstore (2015)
"What about all the times you said you were over Chad"
Superstore (2015)
"and you just jumped right back into bed with him?"
Superstore (2015)
"- After you dumped me! - I'm sorry, David."
Superstore (2015)
"- That's not relevant. - That's okay."
Superstore (2015)
"I have a gay son, so my views are very progressive."
Superstore (2015)
"Okay, what about the time you said Jonah looks great in shirts?"
Superstore (2015)
"Yeah, were you lying or telling the truth then?"
Superstore (2015)
"I said he looks okay in shirts,"
Superstore (2015)
"but you wouldn't know that because you never listen."
Superstore (2015)
"Because you add unnecessary details!"
Superstore (2015)
"You spent an hour talking about lavender!"
Superstore (2015)
"Uh, it sounds like you guys"
Superstore (2015)
"still have some stuff to figure out."
Superstore (2015)
"Jeff, why don't you take care of this"
Superstore (2015)
"and get back to me later, okay?"
Superstore (2015)
"Thanks."
Superstore (2015)
"Well..."
Superstore (2015)
"that got silly."
Superstore (2015)
"'Sup, Marcus?"
Superstore (2015)
"Something's jammed in the box crusher."
Superstore (2015)
"You want me to get..."
Superstore (2015)
"- inside the box crusher? - Yeah, thanks."
Superstore (2015)
"It just... it feels like a box crusher could hurt someone"
Superstore (2015)
"really badly."
Superstore (2015)
"Only if somebody pushed the button while you were inside it."
Superstore (2015)
"There's no need to worry about that 'cause"
Superstore (2015)
"I got the button right here."
Superstore (2015)
"Yeah, okay."
Superstore (2015)
"Sandra, your tushie"
Superstore (2015)
"needs to be closer to the ground."
Superstore (2015)
"- I can't go any lower. - Okay, I don't want excuses."
Superstore (2015)
"I want lower tushies."
Superstore (2015)
"Ugh, I can't believe they're making you do this."
Superstore (2015)
"Yeah, no, me and you both."
Superstore (2015)
"Elias, bend both your knees, not just the one."
Superstore (2015)
"I just feel so guilty. I mean, I almost feel like"
Superstore (2015)
"maybe I should tell Glenn that I was the one"
Superstore (2015)
"that messed up the signs."
Superstore (2015)
"Well, I mean, you know, don't do it for me."
Superstore (2015)
"But, like, if you really want to."
Superstore (2015)
"Yeah, you're right, there's probably no point."
Superstore (2015)
"I don't remember saying those words."
Superstore (2015)
"Oh, I just... I'm getting in my head, then."
Superstore (2015)
"every mistake in the world is my fault."
Superstore (2015)
"Although it's like,"
Superstore (2015)
"I didn't make you crash the scissor lift."
Superstore (2015)
"But technically, I wouldn't have been on the scissor lift"
Superstore (2015)
"if you hadn't messed up the signs."
Superstore (2015)
"I know, and then it's like, technically,"
Superstore (2015)
"I wouldn't have even been hanging the signs at all"
Superstore (2015)
"How far back do we go?"
Superstore (2015)
"Um..."
Superstore (2015)
"probably somewhere between the fifth century"
Superstore (2015)
"and this morning, I'm guessing."
Superstore (2015)
"Right, yeah."
Superstore (2015)
"Right."
Superstore (2015)
"I can't take this safety training anymore."
Superstore (2015)
"Hey, I get it. It's tough,"
Superstore (2015)
"especially when you get to your age."
Superstore (2015)
"Do you feel like you can't keep up?"
Superstore (2015)
"No, I mean I'm over taking the blame for Kelly's mistake."
Superstore (2015)
"Well, let's tell Glenn the truth and bury this chick!"
Superstore (2015)
"Yeah, but I can't just, like, throw her under the bus."
Superstore (2015)
"Are you sure? 'Cause I have security footage"
Superstore (2015)
"of her hanging the sign. It wouldn't be hard."
Superstore (2015)
"Although, you know, it's not like she would"
Superstore (2015)
"get in that much trouble, right?"
Superstore (2015)
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