Loading...

You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Taxi - The Great Line (S01E01)

that we were in Maryland before we knew it.

"that we were in Maryland before we knew it."

Taxi

Yeah, them Volvos are great.

"Yeah, them Volvos are great."

Taxi

Anyhow, this morning, we applied for the license and...

"Anyhow, this morning, we applied for the license and..."

Taxi

even bought a couple of rings.

"even bought a couple of rings."

Taxi

You know, still treating the whole thing like a joke,

"You know, still treating the whole thing like a joke,"

Taxi

you know...

"you know..."

Taxi

and then we had dinner

"and then we had dinner"

Taxi

at this really neat Maryland McDonalds.

"at this really neat Maryland McDonalds."

Taxi

The food's the same

"The food's the same"

Taxi

but it's served by people from Maryland.

"but it's served by people from Maryland."

Taxi

Then we checked into this really nice six-dollar

"Then we checked into this really nice six-dollar"

Taxi

motel...

"motel..."

Taxi

Hey, John, I hate to be indelicate,

"Hey, John, I hate to be indelicate,"

Taxi

Oh, no, no.

"Oh, no, no."

Taxi

We were too excited for that.

"We were too excited for that."

Taxi

Anyhow, this morning, we picked up the license,

"Anyhow, this morning, we picked up the license,"

Taxi

and found the Justice of the Peace--

"and found the Justice of the Peace--"

Taxi

even then, I still felt we'd never go through with it.

"even then, I still felt we'd never go through with it."

Taxi

When the Justice of the Peace said,

"When the Justice of the Peace said,"

Taxi

"Do you take this man to be your husband?"

""Do you take this man to be your husband?""

Taxi

I was sure that we'd both laugh like crazy,

"I was sure that we'd both laugh like crazy,"

Taxi

or she'd say no, but she didn't.

"or she'd say no, but she didn't."

Taxi

She said, "I will if he will."

"She said, "I will if he will.""

Taxi

The Justice of the Peace asked me

"The Justice of the Peace asked me"

Taxi

if I'd take her as my wife.

"if I'd take her as my wife."

Taxi

I said no!

"I said no!"

Taxi

But somehow it came out yes!

"But somehow it came out yes!"

Taxi

And just like that, we were married.

"And just like that, we were married."

Taxi

I mean, married.

"I mean, married."

Taxi

I mean, right away, we both knew

"I mean, right away, we both knew"

Taxi

it was the biggest mistake of our lives.

"it was the biggest mistake of our lives."

Taxi

All the way back, we only said three words.

"All the way back, we only said three words."

Taxi

She said, "Need gas?"

"She said, "Need gas?""

Taxi

I said, "Yes."

"I said, "Yes.""

Taxi

When we got back to town,

"When we got back to town,"

Taxi

I let her off at my apart-- our apartment...

"I let her off at my apart-- our apartment..."

Taxi

and there she sits,

"and there she sits,"

Taxi

the woman Maryland considers my wife.

"the woman Maryland considers my wife."

Taxi

I'm married!

"I'm married!"

Taxi

I really am!

"I really am!"

Taxi

Alex, what am I going to do?

"Alex, what am I going to do?"

Taxi

I'm half crazy.

"I'm half crazy."

Taxi

A conservative estimate.

"A conservative estimate."

Taxi

Just relax.

"Just relax."

Taxi

I know it looks very bad right now,

"I know it looks very bad right now,"

Taxi

but somehow we're going to figure out a way...

"but somehow we're going to figure out a way..."

Taxi

Oh, Burns...

"Oh, Burns..."

Taxi

you decided to grace us with your presence.

"you decided to grace us with your presence."

Taxi

Well, listen here--

"Well, listen here--"

Taxi

the next time you don't show up for work for two days,

"the next time you don't show up for work for two days,"

Taxi

you're fired.

"you're fired."

Taxi

Hey, hey, Louie, the kid just got married.

"Hey, hey, Louie, the kid just got married."

Taxi

Don't yell at him.

"Don't yell at him."

Taxi

Oh, I'm sorry.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Taxi

( sweetly ): The next time you don't show up for work for two days,

"( sweetly ): The next time you don't show up for work for two days,"

Taxi

you're fired.

"you're fired."

Taxi

John, you got to go home sometime.

"John, you got to go home sometime."

Taxi

I can't. She's there.

"I can't. She's there."

Taxi

Mrs. Me.

"Mrs. Me."

Taxi

I don't want to be married, Alex.

"I don't want to be married, Alex."

Taxi

I don't know--

"I don't know--"

Taxi

it sounds crazy, but in my mind, it's all connected.

"it sounds crazy, but in my mind, it's all connected."

Taxi

You get married, you have kids, you grow old, and then you die.

"You get married, you have kids, you grow old, and then you die."

Taxi

Somehow, to me,

"Somehow, to me,"

Taxi

if you didn't get married, you wouldn't die.

"if you didn't get married, you wouldn't die."

Taxi

Hey, Fitz, how you doing?

"Hey, Fitz, how you doing?"

Taxi

Ellen... Rudy!

"Ellen... Rudy!"

Taxi

Hey, how you doin'?

"Hey, how you doin'?"

Taxi

Hey, Champ, how's it going?

"Hey, Champ, how's it going?"

Taxi

Fine.

"Fine."

Taxi

You want to risk your title against me?

"You want to risk your title against me?"

Taxi

How much?

"How much?"

Taxi

You're on.

"You're on."

Taxi

All right.

"All right."

Taxi

Two beers, Rudy.

"Two beers, Rudy."

Taxi

( panting )

"( panting )"

Taxi

Hey, Louie.

"Hey, Louie."

Taxi

You still owe me money on your tab.

"You still owe me money on your tab."

Taxi

Oh, yeah, yeah, all right.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, all right."

Taxi

Well, come by the garage this week and I'll give you a tire.

"Well, come by the garage this week and I'll give you a tire."

Taxi

Let's go.

"Let's go."

Taxi

All right, now...

"All right, now..."

Taxi

All right?

"All right?"

Taxi

Sure.

"Sure."

Taxi

One...

"One..."

Taxi

two...

"two..."

Taxi

three.

"three."

Taxi

Hey, Rudy, did they find

"Hey, Rudy, did they find"

Taxi

the rest of that rat that died in the beer keg?

"the rest of that rat that died in the beer keg?"

Taxi

Go.

"Go."

Taxi

The new champeen.

"The new champeen."

Taxi

Better luck next time, Champ.

"Better luck next time, Champ."

Taxi

Excuse me.

"Excuse me."

Taxi

Louie!

"Louie!"

Taxi

Louie, I never thought I'd say this, but would you join us?

"Louie, I never thought I'd say this, but would you join us?"

Taxi

No, thank you.

"No, thank you."

Taxi

John, the little woman came by the garage tonight.

"John, the little woman came by the garage tonight."

Taxi

She left a letter for you.

"She left a letter for you."

Taxi

Well, let's have it.

"Well, let's have it."

Taxi

For a buck.

"For a buck."

Taxi

Hey, the post office only charges 15 cents.

"Hey, the post office only charges 15 cents."

Taxi

Yeah, and they're going broke.

"Yeah, and they're going broke."

Taxi

Thank you.

"Thank you."

Taxi

Not bad-- I've been here two minutes, had a beer, and won $21.

"Not bad-- I've been here two minutes, had a beer, and won $21."

Taxi

Bye-bye.

"Bye-bye."

Taxi

Oh, by the way, should I change your W-2 now,

"Oh, by the way, should I change your W-2 now,"

Taxi

or do you want to see if you have kids by tonight?

"or do you want to see if you have kids by tonight?"

Taxi

We didn't order drinks.

"We didn't order drinks."

Taxi

It's on the house.

"It's on the house."

Taxi

You know, I got a "Dear John" once.

"You know, I got a "Dear John" once."

Taxi

Oh, that isn't what this is.

"Oh, that isn't what this is."

Taxi

"Dear John..."

""Dear John...""

Taxi

You want me to read the letter?

"You want me to read the letter?"

Taxi

Would you?

"Would you?"

Taxi

"Dear John,

""Dear John,"

Taxi

"I'm leaving you this letter because I'm ashamed to face you.

""I'm leaving you this letter because I'm ashamed to face you."

Taxi

"I hate to think of what you think of a girl

""I hate to think of what you think of a girl"

Taxi

"who runs off and marries a total stranger.

""who runs off and marries a total stranger."

Taxi

"I don't know why

""I don't know why"

Taxi

"I do crazy things

""I do crazy things"

Taxi

Show more clips