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Clips from Friends - The One with Ross's Inappropriate Song (S09E09)

"Resolve. And that's the end of the song."
Friends
"Uh, Phoebe writes lots of songs. What was that one you sang the other night?"
Friends
"Oh, "Pervert Parade"?"
Friends
"Oh."
Friends
"But, you know, especially veal."
Friends
"You know, and this nice vein of fat running through it."
Friends
"So..."
Friends
"What do you think?"
Friends
"So you stole that tape from Richard's apartment?"
Friends
"Ha, ha, Monica, look, I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore."
Friends
"Because that's who I am. Okay?"
Friends
"It'd just be another saucy anecdote..."
Friends
"Is all of this about you not being able to grow a mustache?"
Friends
"Isn't that sad? Can't you see how pathetic that is?"
Friends
"Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard, he..."
Friends
"This is not our problem. We have each other. That's all that matters."
Friends
"But I just keep picturing you rolling around with him, with your..."
Friends
"Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole life."
Friends
"That's not you! Life is good again!"
Friends
"It's just so insulting. Spring for a new blank tape, doctor!"
Friends
"I can't imagine what he sees in her."
Friends
"She actually makes me miss that pill-popping ex-wife of his."
Friends
"- How's your friend? - A little better."
Friends
"Do you know who's moving back into town? Tom and Sue's daughter, Jen."
Friends
"- I'm not interested. - Oh, please, darling, let's be honest."
Friends
"You can have all the sailor fun you want with that one."
Friends
"- But let's be real. - All right, stop."
Friends
"All Phoebe has done is try and get you to like her. Maybe it's not clear..."
Friends
"- She's a little different than you are. - Michael, a pimp spit in her mouth."
Friends
"So what? If I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you."
Friends
"You don't have to like her. Just accept the fact that I do."
Friends
"- The woman you what? - Yeah, the woman you what?"
Friends
"I love you."
Friends
"...and Tom and Sue."
Friends
"- I love you too. - You do?"
Friends
"- Mom, Dad. Thanks for dinner. - I had a great time."
Friends
"It was really top-drawer."
Friends
"And here's something rich."
Friends
"She's sweat, wet"
Friends
"Baby got back"
Friends
"One more time from the top!"
Friends
"I like big butts And I cannot lie"
Friends
"Rachel, please! That is so inappropriate!"
Friends
"You other brothers can't deny"
Friends
"Oh, my God, Emma. You're laughing."
Friends
"What? What? You wanna hear some more? Um..."
Friends
"...I am like the daughter that she never had."
Friends
"You what? And I missed it..."
Friends
"...a song about a guy who likes to have sex..."
Friends
"- Oh, my God. - What?"
Friends
"- Great! Come on in. - Okay."
Friends
"Theodore, Bitsy..."
Friends
"Thank you. I'll give you a tour later. It's actually three floors."
Friends
"Yes. I'm sorry. I've never met a boyfriend's parents before."
Friends
"You do that, and I'm gonna go check my dad for signs of internal bleeding."
Friends
"- Thank you. I think so too. - It's a testament to how he was raised."
Friends
"...in another guy's apartment. Wouldn't you need to know what was on it?"
Friends
"Some girl."
Friends
"What are you guys doing?"
Friends
"Not funny, huh?"
Friends
"When a girl walks in With an itty-bitty waist"
Friends
"Nothing else worked! That girl is all about the ass!"
Friends
"Mom, I thought I told you, Phoebe's a vegetarian."
Friends
"- What's going on? - We were just chitchatting."
Friends
"If you can't even be civil to the woman I love..."
Friends
"- Fellas! - Yeah?"
Friends
"...or, uh, "juicy doubles" are... - Oh."
Friends
"I think it may be customary to get a beer!"
Friends
"No, that's okay. That's okay. I mean, I am a vegetarian..."
Friends
"That tape was never meant to be seen by..."
Friends
"- You've got it. - All right."
Friends
"And that's why, no matter what Mommy says..."
Friends
"- Do you have any ideas? - Uh, this guy at work got me excited..."
Friends
"Guess what. I made Emma laugh today."
Friends
"- Ha-ha-ha. Hi. - Hi."
Friends
"- That's not me! - What?"
Friends
"That all the babies are..."
Friends
"Also, um, I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is."
Friends
"Yeah. Right!"
Friends
"Oh, good, good. Play more because I wanna see how it ends."
Friends
"Phoebe, these are our friends Tom and Sue Engel."
Friends
"Who are, by the way, the most sinfully boring people I've ever met in my life."
Friends
"You sang to our baby daughter..."
Friends
"You know what, if you think about it..."
Friends
"Big butts and I cannot lie"
Friends
"Why in the world would you take this tape? And why would you watch it?"
Friends
"- So where are you from? - Um, okay."
Friends
"Please laugh for Mommy."
Friends
"Big baby butt."
Friends
"You should consider something a little less risky."
Friends
"- It's so nice to finally meet you. - And you."
Friends
"Um..."
Friends
"- Oh! - It was like, um:"
Friends
"Yeah."
Friends
"Oh."
Friends
"- Phoebe, you don't have to eat that. - Any baby animals. Kittens, fish babies."
Friends
"- Has your girlfriend got the butt? - Hell, yeah"
Friends
"Shake that nasty butt"
Friends
"Yes, yes, yes. Yes! Ha!"
Friends
"Got it going like a turbo 'Vette"
Friends
"No."
Friends
"People eat birds. Bird meat."
Friends
"It's a nice place, but I gotta say, I don't know if I see myself living here."
Friends
"Mom, Dad, this is Phoebe."
Friends
"Oh. Why don't you come meet our friends?"
Friends
"Oh. Well..."
Friends
"Well, we know I'm gonna watch it."
Friends
"I had to! Imagine you were married and you found a tape of your wife..."
Friends
"What the?"
Friends
"Oh, my God! Is that Richard?"
Friends
"- Hey. - Oh, you missed it! She was laughing!"
Friends
"Not ready to joke about it yet? See you later."
Friends
"I'm sure a man like Richard could see a tape like that and not be bothered."
Friends
"- Hello, dear. - Hey."
Friends
"You other brothers can't deny"
Friends