Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from M*A*S*H - Yankee Doodle Doctor (S01E01)

"Oh, that‘s pretty gutsy ofyou."
M*A*S*H
"Well, ”Guts” is my middle name. Actually, it‘s ” Kinda Disgusting.”"
M*A*S*H
"—| mean,you really thinkyou can do it? —Yeah."
M*A*S*H
"Tomorrow morning we start shooting."
M*A*S*H
"Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake and Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce..."
M*A*S*H
"- Oh. — Because ofyourjewelry?"
M*A*S*H
"Okay, get a good shot ofthis, Sergeant."
M*A*S*H
"— I‘m getting it. — Move in closer."
M*A*S*H
"This shot isn‘t in the script, Captain."
M*A*S*H
"— Okay, ready? — Ready to roll."
M*A*S*H
"— How far away should I get from itwhen |—— — We‘ll let you know."
M*A*S*H
"Wait a second. Attention, everybody. Wait a minute. Listen."
M*A*S*H
"Now, this scene is when the corpsmen unload Radar..."
M*A*S*H
"and Trapper and I come out and look him over before they take him away."
M*A*S*H
"Sergeant, put your camera right about there and get us coming out of pre-op."
M*A*S*H
"All right ? Get in the truck, Radar. All right. Okay."
M*A*S*H
"—[Groans] —All you all right?"
M*A*S*H
"— I‘m acting. —What? — I‘m acting!"
M*A*S*H
"[ Man] Attention, all personnel."
M*A*S*H
"Tonight in the Mess Tent at 21 00 hours, the movie that could turn Korea..."
M*A*S*H
"into a new Hollywood——"
M*A*S*H
"Yankee Doodle Doctor,"
M*A*S*H
"with a cast ofse i/eral"
M*A*S*H
"The movie that will give you a lump no surgeon can remove."
M*A*S*H
"Ten—hut!"
M*A*S*H
"Good to see you, Major. It‘s been a long time."
M*A*S*H
"Well, sir, uh, it‘sjust about almost ready now,"
M*A*S*H
"Excuse me, General. You‘ll be sitting over here, sir."
M*A*S*H
"And, uh, Major Burns, you‘ll be sitting right there."
M*A*S*H
"And Major Houlihan, ofcourse, will be sitting next to the general."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, excuse me, sir."
M*A*S*H
"[ All Chattering]"
M*A*S*H
"Brigadier General Clayton."
M*A*S*H
"Now, this film that we‘re all about to see for the first time..."
M*A*S*H
"And, ofcourse, we‘re mighty proud to be able to deliver it."
M*A*S*H
"Well, then, uh, on with the show."
M*A*S*H
"Hello. I‘m Brigadier General Crandall Clayton."
M*A*S*H
"Among the thousands of brave Americans..."
M*A*S*H
"— Very good, sir. So dramatic. — Very good, sir."
M*A*S*H
"The film you‘re about to see..."
M*A*S*H
"I‘m sure it‘ll be as inspirational to you as it is to me, their leader."
M*A*S*H
"[ Frank Narrating] This is the 4077th.."
M*A*S*H
"Mobile Army 5 urgical Hospital some where in Korea."
M*A*S*H
"mainly because the men of the 4077th have no time for an ything.."
M*A*S*H
"but the vital work they do."
M*A*S*H
"Hey, Radar! Hey. Beautiful."
M*A*S*H
"Justa little medical school humor, sir."
M*A*S*H
"— Doctor! Doctor! Can you give him a hand? — I‘d rather give you one."
M*A*S*H
"Are you the Yankee Doodle Doctor?"
M*A*S*H
"— I certainly am. — [ Horn Honking]"
M*A*S*H
"— Radar, you‘re terrific. Just look at these guys. - Shh, shh."
M*A*S*H
"Gosh, I‘m glad they brought me here."
M*A*S*H
"I‘m afraid we‘re all booked up through New Year‘s."
M*A*S*H
"— [ Horn Honking] — But, Doctor——"
M*A*S*H
"Come to think ofit, you should‘ve booked the rest ofthe body as well."
M*A*S*H
"What the hell was that?"
M*A*S*H
"[Frank] Brave men struggle in a makeshift operating room..."
M*A*S*H
"Heads up, everybody. Yankee Doodle Doctor‘s coming. Lucky."
M*A*S*H
"[Horn Honking]"
M*A*S*H
"— Nurse, is that patient prepared for surgery? — Yes, Doctor."
M*A*S*H
"— Well, I‘m certainly glad one ofus is. — [ Honks]"
M*A*S*H
"— Tell me something. Did you take his pulse? — Yes, Doctor."
M*A*S*H
"I told you to take his wallet. First things first."
M*A*S*H
"— [ Honks] — Let me have a scalpel."
M*A*S*H
"Don‘t get undressed. Just give me a scalpel."
M*A*S*H
"That‘s not a scalpel. Well, that‘s not a scalpel."
M*A*S*H
"— Now, that‘s what I call a scalpel. — [ Honking]"
M*A*S*H
"But, Doctor, what about the anesthesia?"
M*A*S*H
"No, thankyou. I prefer to be awake through this."
M*A*S*H
"You‘ll be a better man for this, my friend."
M*A*S*H
"Who can spare a tree?"
M*A*S*H
"|thinkit‘s time to do some sewing."
M*A*S*H
"— Sew what ? — That‘s what I say."
M*A*S*H
"Incision closed, stitches in place. You‘re finished, Doctor."
M*A*S*H
"Yes, but who are you to remind me ?"
M*A*S*H
"— Uh—oh. Wait a minute. — Anything wrong, Doctor?"
M*A*S*H
"— Either that or he‘s giving birth to an alarm clock. — [ Honking]"
M*A*S*H
"—Good night, folks. — [ Honks]"
M*A*S*H
"[Frank] And there are those rare moments..."
M*A*S*H
"N"
M*A*S*H
",L‘ [Continues]"
M*A*S*H
"Gentlemen! Gentlemen,"
M*A*S*H
"I give you the war."
M*A*S*H
"—Yuck! —[A|l] Yuck!"
M*A*S*H
"Three hours ago this man was in a battle."
M*A*S*H
"Two hours ago we operated on him."
M*A*S*H
"He‘s got a 50—50 chance."
M*A*S*H
"We win some, we lose some."
M*A*S*H
"Our willingness, our experience, our technique are not enough."
M*A*S*H
"have more power to take life than we have to preserve it."
M*A*S*H
"Not a very happy ending for a mo vie."
M*A*S*H
"But then no war is a movie."
M*A*S*H
"General, I‘m very sorry. I don‘t know how this happened."
M*A*S*H
"— Absolutely scandalous, General. Frank—— — But please don‘t worry, sir."
M*A*S*H
"We can do the whole thing over."
M*A*S*H
"There‘s no need for that, Henry. It‘s not all bad."
M*A*S*H
"— My introduction? All ofit? —Yes, sir."
M*A*S*H
"But save one print for me."
M*A*S*H
"Shall we, my dear?"
M*A*S*H
"I‘d be happy to."
M*A*S*H
"I think she wanted my autograph."
M*A*S*H
"You can‘t even talk."
M*A*S*H
"— But I can write. — Aw, gosh."
M*A*S*H
"[Yawns] Well, another day, another duodenum."
M*A*S*H
"Oh,yes. But he‘s the Yankee Doodle Doctor."
M*A*S*H
"It‘s a privilege to assist him."
M*A*S*H
"I‘d like to try something light next time. Maybe something romantic."
M*A*S*H
"Why don‘t they ever make pictures like that anymore?"
M*A*S*H
"You know, two brothers. One‘s a Yankee and the other‘s a South Korean."
M*A*S*H
"They don‘t look anything alike, and I play both parts."
M*A*S*H
"Let me tell you about it."
M*A*S*H
"I bet ifI played it with a big black hat, I‘d looklike Lincoln."
M*A*S*H
"Thankyou. So do you."
M*A*S*H
"— And Captain Pierce. — How you been?"
M*A*S*H
"Thankyou. Uh, officers and doctors?"
M*A*S*H
"And, uh, General Clayton said he couldn‘t make a better choice..."
M*A*S*H
"Who, me? Nah, I‘m sorry. I‘m under contract to North Korea... as a spy."
M*A*S*H
"A ttention, a// personnel. Casualties in the compound"
M*A*S*H
"— Bricker asked me to do it. — He‘s a fantastic performer."
M*A*S*H
"—[C|ears Throat] Mm—mm—mm—— — Skip that part."
M*A*S*H
Show more clips