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Clips from M*A*S*H - Yankee Doodle Doctor (S01E01)

"”in a makeshift operating room..."
M*A*S*H
"Jump through that."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, you want a constructive criticism. You‘re right."
M*A*S*H
"Take it easy, kids. Save a little something for the show."
M*A*S*H
"When they came to get me, I was hiding under the front porch..."
M*A*S*H
"trying to puncture my eardrum with an ice pick."
M*A*S*H
"What ?"
M*A*S*H
"Hey. Give me a light over here."
M*A*S*H
"Moves kind ofslow in the beginning, doesn‘t it?"
M*A*S*H
"— Oh, that‘s my bad side. — It looked good to me."
M*A*S*H
"— Did I call General Clayton? —I called him."
M*A*S*H
"We‘ll just do the movie without that hotshot."
M*A*S*H
"and keep his camera guy here and all his equipment?"
M*A*S*H
"— You can what? — We can make it ourselves."
M*A*S*H
"Cut it."
M*A*S*H
"Don‘t worry about the script, Sergeant."
M*A*S*H
"Action !"
M*A*S*H
"At ease."
M*A*S*H
"any minute now, pretty soon, sir."
M*A*S*H
"is the general‘s baby."
M*A*S*H
"fighting in this scrap here in Korea,"
M*A*S*H
"oftheir service in a great cause."
M*A*S*H
"I‘m sorry, kid. You should‘ve booked ahead."
M*A*S*H
"Give him some anesthesia."
M*A*S*H
"Tell me, nurse. Would you like to hop into the oxygen tent for a little heavy breathing?"
M*A*S*H
"No guaranteed survival. No saints in surgical garb."
M*A*S*H
"Guns and bombs and antipersonnel mines..."
M*A*S*H
"You know, kids, I‘ve been thinking about my next picture."
M*A*S*H
"— |s thatyouridea ofa compromise? — I‘m a funny kind ofguy."
M*A*S*H
"— Hiya, Henry. — At ease, men."
M*A*S*H
"But it was locked up, and then someone who‘s very good with his hands..."
M*A*S*H
"I hope so. [Whistles]"
M*A*S*H
"when these saints in surgical garb may relax with simple, wholesome pleasure."
M*A*S*H
"surgeons in uniform using their skill to repair the damage ofwar."
M*A*S*H
"”he will be in the strong, capable hands..."
M*A*S*H
"All right, look, we‘ve been had. The picture‘s finished, and that‘s that."
M*A*S*H
"— Wait a minute. Have you got a reservation? — A reservation?"
M*A*S*H
"Well, that‘s enough ofthat."
M*A*S*H
"We gotta have something to laugh at when this whole thing is over."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, uh, I even brought that, uh, list you wanted."
M*A*S*H
"— Okay, that does it. You got me, Bricker. — Fine."
M*A*S*H
"Well, uh, not actually fine."
M*A*S*H
"You dirty rat—— ifwe‘ve ever done any acting."
M*A*S*H
"proudly present Yankee Doodle Doctor."
M*A*S*H
"I mean, it‘d be a pretty good plug for us——"
M*A*S*H
"— And that last piece we saw with Captain Pierce talking. — Yes, sir."
M*A*S*H
"Very high fitness record, commanded by a dear friend ofmine,"
M*A*S*H
"Get this guyinside and prep him."
M*A*S*H
"”struggling to save your sons and brothers..."
M*A*S*H
"I wonder ifshe‘s still alive."
M*A*S*H
"— Come on, Henry. What do you say? — Okay, here‘s to it."
M*A*S*H
"Where do you come off with top billing?"
M*A*S*H
"is a true record..."
M*A*S*H
"Not a very attractive military post,"
M*A*S*H
"while the dogs of war bark at the very door."
M*A*S*H