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Clips from M*A*S*H - The Moose (S01E01)

"— She hitched a ride back here. — Swell"
M*A*S*H
"[Sighs ] What‘s the idea?"
M*A*S*H
"—| your moose, Hawkeye—san. I come back. —But you‘re free."
M*A*S*H
"We‘re sympathetic, you know, but this kid is part moose, part yo—yo."
M*A*S*H
"EXCUSE US a second."
M*A*S*H
"We tell him to find her family. Brings one ofthem back here, and then they take her away."
M*A*S*H
"That could take a while. What do we do until they get here?"
M*A*S*H
"— Give her person lessons. — Bingo."
M*A*S*H
"Saint Frankis in Tokyo."
M*A*S*H
"No, no, no."
M*A*S*H
"— You take that bunk there. — You can‘t make sleep like that."
M*A*S*H
"I‘d like to make a little sleep over here."
M*A*S*H
"Sleep tight."
M*A*S*H
"Don‘t let the bedbugs bite."
M*A*S*H
"I‘ll take the 4:00 feeding."
M*A*S*H
"Okay, once more now."
M*A*S*H
"— Now, we‘ve never met before, right? — Right."
M*A*S*H
"— Hello. I‘m Dr. Pierce. — How doyou do? I am Young Hi."
M*A*S*H
"—Very good. — Morning, Young Hi."
M*A*S*H
"— Hello,]oe. What you know? — No. Forget that."
M*A*S*H
"Gee, a person says ”good morning” and gets his ear bit off."
M*A*S*H
"Hello there. I‘m Dr. Pierce."
M*A*S*H
"— How doyou do? I am Young Hi. — Good. Keep going."
M*A*S*H
"—I am very pleased to meet you. — Great!"
M*A*S*H
"— Yes, I am. — That you understand, huh?"
M*A*S*H
"—Pass the sugar, Trapper? —You can have the sugar from me anytime."
M*A*S*H
"You sit right over there, Young Hi."
M*A*S*H
"— Lieutenantjones, Lieutenant Scorch. - Hi."
M*A*S*H
"How do you do? I am pleased to meet you. My name is Young Hi."
M*A*S*H
"Yes. Yes, you are."
M*A*S*H
"And when you meet people, don‘t look down."
M*A*S*H
"We‘re all the same. You get it?"
M*A*S*H
"Excuse it. Not same."
M*A*S*H
"— How do you figure? — You need shave."
M*A*S*H
"Just got word. Ho—Jon‘s back. He brought the head of her family."
M*A*S*H
"Hey, Ho—Jon."
M*A*S*H
"— That‘s the head ofthe family? — He‘s Young His brother."
M*A*S*H
"Hiya, guys. How’s the action?"
M*A*S*H
"An Eagle Scout, he ain‘t."
M*A*S*H
"Did, uh—— did Ho—Jon explain to you why we sent foryou?"
M*A*S*H
"You bought Young Hi from Baker. Now you want to dump her."
M*A*S*H
"— What‘s the beef? She goofing off? — ”The Dead—End Kids” in Korea."
M*A*S*H
"I‘ll giveyou this back when you‘re 50."
M*A*S*H
"— You‘re here to take your sister home. — We don‘t want a moose."
M*A*S*H
"No refund, guys. You understand that?"
M*A*S*H
"— We don‘t want any money. She‘s free to go. —Just like that?"
M*A*S*H
"— You guys are nuts. — [ Door Opens]"
M*A*S*H
"How do you do? I am pleased to see you. How is Mother and Father?"
M*A*S*H
"Pop‘s okay. Mom‘s still delivering for the black market."
M*A*S*H
"”One Man‘s Family.”"
M*A*S*H
"They must be treating you okay. You look real big—time."
M*A*S*H
"Learn many things here. My English is much more goodly."
M*A*S*H
"— / work in hospital. — Hey, that’s terrific."
M*A*S*H
"But... you‘ve come to take me?"
M*A*S*H
"You come back to Seoul, and we‘ll get 1,000, maybe 1,500, bucks foryou easy."
M*A*S*H
"Hold it. You can ’t let yourself be sold again."
M*A*S*H
"You guys are brushing her off. What do you care?"
M*A*S*H
"I may get on my knees and punch this kid in the nose."
M*A*S*H
"— You got a chance for a life ofyour own now. — No more slobs like Baker."
M*A*S*H
"—What‘s all thisjive? You know the score. —I have duty to my family."
M*A*S*H
"— What about your duty to yourself? — That is not how I was raised."
M*A*S*H
"You tell ‘em, baby. Let‘s get your gear."
M*A*S*H
"—Young Hi. — Will you guys lay off?"
M*A*S*H
"I remember everything you taught me—— everything——"
M*A*S*H
"and I am grateful."
M*A*S*H
"[Sighs]"
M*A*S*H
"— We came close, you know? — Yeah, for a minute there——"
M*A*S*H
"Oh, I could use a drink."
M*A*S*H
"—I know how to make martini drink. —Young Hi."
M*A*S*H
"— Are you staying? — Not only staying, also not going."
M*A*S*H
"| tell Benny most important thing I learn from you: who to tell ”shove off!”"
M*A*S*H
"— Hey! Terrific! — Attagirl!"
M*A*S*H
"— So have you. — But Young Hi has something else."
M*A*S*H
"I am also beautiful."
M*A*S*H
"— Hey, we got a letter from Young Hi. —Yeah?"
M*A*S*H
"”I am fine. I wish you are the same."
M*A*S*H
"The sisters say one day maybe I can work as helper to nurse."
M*A*S*H
"I thank once more your efforts and ask God to bless you."
M*A*S*H
"| write that to please the sisters. I am Buddhist person."
M*A*S*H
"With all love and respect, yourfriend, Young Hi. Roger wilco.”"
M*A*S*H
"— Roger wilco. — She‘s a good kid."
M*A*S*H
"Yeah. You know something? I really miss her."
M*A*S*H
"— | wish she was here right now. — Me too."
M*A*S*H
"Yeah, I could use a shave. And look at these boots."
M*A*S*H
"[All Arguing]"
M*A*S*H
"—|‘m going to do something about this. I‘m talking to Henry. —Henry?"
M*A*S*H
"|fyou don‘t have any more guts than that, then I‘ll quit this outfit."
M*A*S*H
"What do we do best? Think."
M*A*S*H
"Ah, too rich for me."
M*A*S*H
"Waita minute. Something‘s blocking me."
M*A*S*H
"— She‘s all yours, Doc. I explained the whole deal. —You understand, Young Hi?"
M*A*S*H
"Uh, Hawk, listen."
M*A*S*H
"Hold it."
M*A*S*H
"Just stand there. Don‘t clean anything."
M*A*S*H
"Will you get lost!"
M*A*S*H
"— Hey, Hawkeye. — Yeah."
M*A*S*H
"His name is Benny."
M*A*S*H
"How?"
M*A*S*H
"I‘m a transient. Your authority over me is limited and you know it."
M*A*S*H
"Is she gonna stay here?"
M*A*S*H
"That‘s the man we want to see."
M*A*S*H
"Just a minute, handsome stranger."
M*A*S*H
"an ace..."
M*A*S*H
"— Yeah, a good transportation moose. - A one-owner-type moose."
M*A*S*H
"[Yawns] Let‘s get some breakfast and hit the sack."
M*A*S*H
"— ”Gooks”? — Yeah."
M*A*S*H
"So save that G.|. crapola for the folks back home."
M*A*S*H
"and ajack of... spades."
M*A*S*H
"Now pay up, fine human being."
M*A*S*H
"— You got washing? — No, no, no, no."
M*A*S*H
"|ain‘t got the money right now."
M*A*S*H
"Now, is there anything else, sir?"
M*A*S*H
"I mean, our real, ifonly, talent."
M*A*S*H
"Yes, sir. Good—bye, kid."
M*A*S*H
"” Dear Dad—— We had a little poker game today. It seems I won a person.”"
M*A*S*H
"Things dry quicker in my tent."
M*A*S*H
"that Captain Pierce wants to see him on the double."
M*A*S*H
"Two good ones offthe top."
M*A*S*H
"And let‘s not forget this little old |.O.U. for 1,200."
M*A*S*H
"Take that and put down your pink slip on Young Hi."
M*A*S*H
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