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Clips from Veep - Convention (S04E04)

"- I have, and, um... - Yes, come, come, come, come."
Veep
"- I would love to serve you as vice president... - Oh, my God."
Veep
"- But I can't. - Hmm?"
Veep
"I can't."
Veep
"Thank you. Um..."
Veep
"all I can say is it's family issues."
Veep
"What, are you knocked up? What's the real reason?"
Veep
"- What is it? - It's the way you operate, ma'am."
Veep
"You have a great way of operating."
Veep
"- I absolutely do. - It's terrific, really."
Veep
"- Yeah. - But it's not the way I like to operate."
Veep
"- I can see you're upset. - No, I'm not... I mean, I am upset."
Veep
"Why wouldn't I be upset? This is bullshit."
Veep
"That's just military training."
Veep
"I'm sorry, but I have to address the convention."
Veep
"No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait, wait."
Veep
"- What comes after veep? - President?"
Veep
"And you never know. Someday somebody might just..."
Veep
"I'm sorry. Again, thank you for asking."
Veep
"I am honored and humbled."
Veep
"No, you're not!"
Veep
"Actually, let me elaborate on that."
Veep
"The shitty, two-faced, fat fucking turd said no."
Veep
"Okay, this is a curveball we will need to address."
Veep
"I'm supposed to walk out on stage"
Veep
"and then keep walking till I fall off the otheside?"
Veep
"My advice... Tom James."
Veep
"I like Tom James and I hate everyone."
Veep
"He has a disabled son, check."
Veep
"Wounded serving his country, check."
Veep
"Is the checklist complete? Yeah."
Veep
"- No. - We both say no."
Veep
"- I got an idea. - No, you don't. You just think you do."
Veep
"Go on, Gary. think you've got something."
Veep
"Thank you, Karen. Why don't we ask Doyle back?"
Veep
"He announced he's leaving."
Veep
"Okay, does anybody want a coffee?"
Veep
"Everybody stop having ideas."
Veep
"- You're kidding. - No, I'm not kidding at all."
Veep
"- On it. I'm on it. - Ma'am, update on the death row guy."
Veep
"- He died. - Oh, finally, right?"
Veep
"It's one less thing to worry about."
Veep
"Where are you? I need you to go"
Veep
"Hey, Mike, I hear you guys are looking for a new veep."
Veep
"- Uh, it won't be you. - Oh, no, no, no, God."
Veep
"I was gonna suggest Danny Chung."
Veep
"He seems like the obvious choice."
Veep
"He's fit to run. He's so physically fit."
Veep
"You know, it reminds me of the first time I was here."
Veep
"Chungmania."
Veep
"Well, of course you know why I asked to speak with you today, George."
Veep
"Well, I imagine it's not for my hamburger recipe."
Veep
"- That was a joke. - Right, sure, sure."
Veep
"Hence the tie."
Veep
"Okay. Great. Great."
Veep
"about being my running mate."
Veep
"And I know how to get things done."
Veep
"Not that you don't. Though people say you don't."
Veep
"Okay."
Veep
"so I'm gonna have to head out."
Veep
"I appreciate you coming by, yeah."
Veep
"Well, that was then, and this is not then."
Veep
"- Olsen polled okay. - He's got a drinking problem."
Veep
"He's got a drinking problem."
Veep
"Yeah, shoe polish and he never even shared."
Veep
"Well, we could go all female, ma'am."
Veep
"Are you trying to blow up the universe now?"
Veep
"Who's gonna go for two women on the ticket?"
Veep
"I guess we could all eat pussy all day long, too, right?"
Veep
"Tom James is a man."
Veep
"From the South. And Latino."
Veep
"Well, he's not Southern or Latino,"
Veep
"but what about Culverson?"
Veep
"Yeah, that's why we 86'd him, Mike."
Veep
"The candidate needs to live up to and through the election."
Veep
"- Tom James? - God, why is it hard to find somebody for this job?"
Veep
"I mean, it is such a great job."
Veep
"Folks, I am an Ameri-can"
Veep
"with a merry plan."
Veep
"I subscribe to a "whistle while you work" philosophy."
Veep
"If this is supposed to be dead, it shouldn't be in the center."
Veep
"- Ma'am. Ma'am. - There's absolutely no way we're going to be able to..."
Veep
"Ma'am, I don't want to sound like a broken record,"
Veep
"but Tom James, Tom James, Tom James."
Veep
"Okay, stop it. Just stop it."
Veep
"Why not?"
Veep
"Amy, I don't want you to take this the wrong way,"
Veep
"but you are being a little irritating."
Veep
"- A lot a bit. - That's right."
Veep
"Him?"
Veep
"No! No! Fuck, no!"
Veep
"- But you can make inept work. - True."
Veep
"You can say the same of a potato."
Veep
"- Okay. Oh... - We should talk to him."
Veep
"My head hurts..."
Veep
"from all the wondrous possibilities."
Veep
"Karen, what do you think of Pierce?"
Veep
"Have you been sent from the future"
Veep
"to destroy me? 'Cause it's working."
Veep
""I think that each candidate has merits and demerits."
Veep
"And I don't know my left butt cheek from my right butt cheek,"
Veep
"- Okay. - It's not even bullshit."
Veep
"You are just a blah, blah, blah, blah bitch."
Veep
"Okay, Amy, that is enough."
Veep
"I have bitten my tongue so long,"
Veep
"it looks like a dog's cushion."
Veep
"But no more."
Veep
"You have made it impossible to do this job."
Veep
"You have two settings... No decision and bad decision."
Veep
"I wouldn't let you run a bath"
Veep
"without having the Coast Guard"
Veep
"and the fire department standing by,"
Veep
"but yet here you are running America."
Veep
"since food in buckets"
Veep
"and maybe slavery."
Veep
"Well, I guess she's finished with her little..."
Veep
"Oh, nope."
Veep
"Look at that, there's more."
Veep
"- You have achieved nothing. - Uh-huh."
Veep
"Apart from one thing."
Veep
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