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Clips from Veep - Convention (S04E04)

"I don't... I mean, what are you talk..."
Veep
"I am furious. Ben."
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"I don't know if I heard correctly."
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"It's a matter of principle."
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"There is no way on God's green cock"
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"that you can get out on matter of principle."
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"- You have prostate problems. - I'm not gonna say that."
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"- That's embarrassing. - Exactly. That's what makes it more real."
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"He said he's not gonna lie, Ben."
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"You know, there's been some very serious allegations"
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"coming from the vice president's office about sexual abuse."
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"- Excuse me? - What?"
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"- Yeah, Jonah Ryan. - Jonah? Oh, my God."
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"Those poor interns."
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"- Your man Teddy. - What?"
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"Yeah, he's been fondling Jonah's balls"
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"like he's trying to figure out what the prize inside is."
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"I knew nothing about this, Ben. Nothing, Selina."
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"- So how can you be a man of principle... - Yeah."
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"- When you're condoning sexual abuse... - Sexual abuse."
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"I'll go write a draft. Come on."
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"Yeah, prostate, not principle, huh?"
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"Yeah, that's what we'll... We'll go with that."
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"Oh, okay."
Veep
"- Doyle is a goner. - What?"
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"- What? - In the middle of a convention?"
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"- I know! - Chung is our answer to Montez."
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"Hey, way to work that sexual abuse."
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"It's like Christmas except happy."
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"Ma'am, I'm elated. This is great news."
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"Yeah, that's your elated face."
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"We need to pick a running mate now, okay?"
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"So do you want to discus?"
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"It has to be Danny Chung."
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"- Isn't that spooky? - Not even remotely."
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"Okay, go get Danny Chung. Mike! Oh, my God!"
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"Ah, they found a pulse on the death row guy."
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"- Oh. - Now they can kill him properly."
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"God, you'd think they could do that right."
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"Death row... the clue is in the name."
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"Dan Central."
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"- Hi, Jonah Ryan. - Oh, Jonah."
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"Excellent. Dan, why don't you get these guys some coffee?"
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"Oh, no, you don't need to get me a coffee."
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"Although, coffee actually does sound delicious."
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"Yeah, funny thing. I think the machine's on the fritz."
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"There's no way it could be on the fritz."
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"But if it's not, I think I'll take a soy cap."
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"- And, Richard? - Eggnog latte if it's in season."
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"Is it? No, it isn't. Okay, I'll have a skinny cap."
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"- I'll see you guys in a minute. - Fantastic."
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"Oh, Dan, that's good."
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"So we're interested in finding the pesticide levers."
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"Specifically the levers that make pesticides happen."
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"And Jonah here is the guy behind the guy. Isn't that right?"
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"Yeah, oh, I'm the wheel-greaser."
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"Poonslayer."
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"When I'm online. Video games?"
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"The vice president is leaving the ticket."
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"Yep. Wait, what?"
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"The vice president is leaving the ticket?"
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"How am I hearing this at the same time as you?"
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"Well, the important thing is that we have a plan B."
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"Right, Dan?"
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"Yes. Uh..."
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"She's the president's campaign manager."
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"She and I are closer than two fat guys in an elevator."
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"- This is not a big deal. - You know what? Building off that,"
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"I'm actually gonna go ahead and give her a call, too."
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"I used to work for Ames. In fact, I call her Ames for short..."
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"Wait, actually, it's long for Amy."
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"Okay, let me know when you have her."
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"What did I do in a past life to deserve Karen?"
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"I think you must have given the go-ahead for Pearl Harbor."
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"Well, the problem with Karen is that she's the president's best friend."
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"Best female friend, let's be honest."
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"- All right. - I just heard Chung should be here any second."
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"We've got ourselves a meeting. Am I right?"
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"Don't look desperate. Men don't like that."
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"- they called it Chungmania. - I do remember that."
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"- Chungmania. - Of course."
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"I love it when you tell that story. It's so funny."
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"Well, Danny, come January,"
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"I would be so pleased"
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"if you would serve alongside me"
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"You do me a great honor, Madam President."
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"- Yeah. Yeah. - But I do need to consult my wife."
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"Oh, of course. Oh, no, no, no, yes."
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"And my Bible. Although she is my Bible, so that's two Bibles."
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"Well, you take as many of the 15 minutes available"
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"as you need to make this decision."
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"Congressman Pierce."
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"I hear you guys are looking for a new vice president."
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"- It's not gonna be you. - No, I just wanted to wish you guys good luck."
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"Oh, that's nice. Fuck off, I'm busy."
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"Who made this decision?"
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"It was a joint decision made by the president,"
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"vice president, and the vice president's,"
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"uh... prostate doctor."
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"I understand you've been feeling up Jonah Ryan."
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"And by up, I mean all the way up."
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"Congressman Furlong does not want to hear this."
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"Oh, which means I absolutely, totally fucking do."
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"like they're some kind of exotic stress reducer."
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"I wish someone would sexually assault my staff."
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"And by staff I mean penis."
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"- Oh, you guys are serious. - No, listen."
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"I mean, which of us hasn't gotten off in some guy's junk?"
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"- You know, just for a laugh? - I haven't."
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"I want you to use your dirty hands, clean out your desk."
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"- You're fired. - You..."
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"has been to serve you."
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"And that goes double for fondling Jonah."
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"Have you been watching this? This is a fascinating show."
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"I know that it's big, the problem and the prostate,"
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"which is not good."
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"Sounds like you might die."
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"- Madam President. - Here's my guy."
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"- Let's do this. - Let's do this."
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"You talk with both of your Bibles, did you?"
Veep
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