Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from American Dad! - Stanny Slickers II: The Legend of Ollie's Gold (S03E03)

"It's just a myth, like unicorns or speed-reading."
American Dad!
"It's no myth. It's real."
American Dad!
"#We fought the Commies inside Nicaragua #"
American Dad!
"# So we sent them lots of money for guns #"
American Dad!
"# Just 'cause they moved a teeny bit ofblow #"
American Dad!
"that would always be a grateful ally."
American Dad!
"Then he gave the profits to the contras."
American Dad!
"- # Reagan and North # - Well-"
American Dad!
"# The truth he did bury with his hot secretary #"
American Dad!
"# Ollie North Ollie North #"
American Dad!
"# And now he's on Fox News ##"
American Dad!
"Wow. I just learned while I was being entertained."
American Dad!
"As a young C.I.A. Agent, I heard a rumor that when Iran-Contra became public..."
American Dad!
"- This yard. - Wait. We're living in that guy I never heard of's house?"
American Dad!
"Pretty cool, huh? You see, I bought his house in '87..."
American Dad!
"and started digging-"
American Dad!
"- Lying bitch. - Stan..."
American Dad!
"I thought you gave up looking for Ollie's gold years ago."
American Dad!
"Because the kids came along, and I didn't have time anymore."
American Dad!
"and my name will live on forever."
American Dad!
"Fine, Stan. Destroy the yard- again."
American Dad!
"Just don't expect me to help you."
American Dad!
"Very well. Then I'll dig alone."
American Dad!
"When I didn't find Ollie North's gold in the yard..."
American Dad!
"I realized- it's not in the yard."
American Dad!
"It's under the house."
American Dad!
"When North testified, he said, "I came here to tell you the truth-"
American Dad!
"Our living room has three outlets. One that works- the good."
American Dad!
"And one that's cracked- the ugly."
American Dad!
"Those outlets form a triangle, and that's where I'm digging."
American Dad!
"I can't believe- You- I- I-"
American Dad!
"- What are you doing here? - Making a documentary on Stan's descent into madness."
American Dad!
"I mean it's on treasure."
American Dad!
"I can't compete with Epiphany Lorenz."
American Dad!
"- What's goin' on? - Hayley Dream-smasher Smith..."
American Dad!
"No. This is a new one. I bought it when I drove Steve to the mall."
American Dad!
"why practice getting girls with her when I can just get with her?"
American Dad!
"Buh, buh, buh Bernice."
American Dad!
"Steve, is that my bikini top?"
American Dad!
"Ew! No! That would be creepy."
American Dad!
"I found this on the railroad tracks."
American Dad!
"Stan, do you see what's happening here?"
American Dad!
"A hidden chamber!"
American Dad!
"I see beautiful things. Gold, silver, huge red socks fit for a giant."
American Dad!
"I think this might be our basement."
American Dad!
"Yeah. Those are my ski boots. It's our basement, Francine."
American Dad!
"Hi. I'm Laura, the new girl."
American Dad!
"Uh, I'll be right there, Sam. I'm just gonna grab a doughnut."
American Dad!
"Looking for something glazed and bad for ya?"
American Dad!
"Hey, Mom."
American Dad!
"Hayley! More piercings?"
American Dad!
"- Does your father know about this? - Nah. He's too busy digging."
American Dad!
"but he kisses at a 12th-grade level."
American Dad!
"Oh. Come on now."
American Dad!
"That is it! Stan!"
American Dad!
"I found these in the dirt right under the basement."
American Dad!
"Ice Creamsicle wrappers?"
American Dad!
"Yes! Don't you see? "Ice Creamsicle. ""
American Dad!
"Initials " I" and " C." Iran-Contra."
American Dad!
"- They did? - They should have."
American Dad!
"I want to speak to my husband off camera."
American Dad!
"Of course."
American Dad!
"You have to stop chasing this silly fantasy and be a parent to your kids."
American Dad!
"Didn't I support you when you wanted to open that small business?"
American Dad!
"What? No. No, no. My feet hurt."
American Dad!
"You don't have the goods."
American Dad!
"Well, you do, but they went bad long ago."
American Dad!
"I am harassable! I'll show you."
American Dad!
"Name's Luke Fondleburg. Just started today."
American Dad!
"Any hot pieces of tail around this office that like a good groping?"
American Dad!
"My kids are out of control. All because of Stan and his crazy legacy."
American Dad!
"Dad is nuts. There is no gold."
American Dad!
"But I don't care, as long as he doesn't hassle me about my piercings."
American Dad!
"Did your father hassle you about stuff?"
American Dad!
"Family doesn't support me. That's okay. I know it's here."
American Dad!
"If I eat all the dirt, all that will be left is the gold."
American Dad!
"Oh, my God. He's gone totally insane."
American Dad!
"We've gotta have an intervention and stop this madness."
American Dad!
"- You actually found Oliver North's gold. - Look. He left a note."
American Dad!
"" Congratulations. You deciphered my riddle..."
American Dad!
"" about the good, the bad and the ugly..."
American Dad!
"We are a lock for an Oscar if there isn't a documentary about penguins or genocide this year."
American Dad!
"- Or penguin genocide. Oh! - Oh, I know."
American Dad!
"Where were you two? You missed the big moment when I dug up the gold!"
American Dad!
"My Smithsonian exhibit will need that footage."
American Dad!
"Come down into the pit, and we'll stage it."
American Dad!
"And I don't need a family who never believed in me."
American Dad!
"I tell you. It makes me want to do a whole bunch of stuff you said I'd never do-"
American Dad!
"like starting my own dance studio, or killing pigeons with my mind."
American Dad!
"Just for your information, I believed in the dance studio."
American Dad!
"Hmm! What's this I'm seeing for the first time?"
American Dad!
"Ollie North's gold?"
American Dad!
"Come on, Stan. You can do better. It's for your legacy, man."
American Dad!
"Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-I... d!"
American Dad!
"unearthed me?"
American Dad!
"That's it. A perfect historical quote."
American Dad!
"Brief, dignified, unclear."
American Dad!
"And filthy rich in three, two-"
American Dad!
"Manager guy!"
American Dad!
"Luke sexually harassed me. It was horrible."
American Dad!
"Well, this is very serious, Laura."
American Dad!
"- Marjorie, could you please send in Luke Fondleburg?"
American Dad!
"Oop. Just got my period. Damn uterus..."
American Dad!
"refreshing itself every month like it owns the joint."
American Dad!
"- You wanted to see me? - Fondleburg..."
American Dad!
"You bet your ass I did. I harassed the crap out of her."
American Dad!
"Damn it! Now we have to pay her a settlement."
American Dad!
"- You're fired! - Both of those things work for me."
American Dad!
"See you in hell."
American Dad!
"Well, he admitted he harassed you."
American Dad!
"Actually, our lawyers have determined that juries pay..."
American Dad!
"a larger settlement to women who are more attractive."
American Dad!
"Unharassable, huh?"
American Dad!
"Wow. $90,000."
American Dad!
"I know. Respectable, right?"
American Dad!
"Ja, ja. Completely respectable."
American Dad!
"Wow. That's a lot of money."
American Dad!
"Oh, no. No. I'm sorry. I have a policy."
American Dad!
"- I never loan friends money. - Oh. Okay."
American Dad!
"- But I'm good for it. - No. I know. It's not about that."
American Dad!
Show more clips