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Clips from American Dad! - A Ward Show (S07E07)

"# Good morning, U.S.A. #"
American Dad!
"Here's the account info I was telling you about."
American Dad!
"and now the bank's telling me my debit card-"
American Dad!
"Clara, could you make me a nice hot chocolate?"
American Dad!
"First, we move you to a credit union."
American Dad!
"Here's me cultivating a garden."
American Dad!
"Here's me shaving a homeless."
American Dad!
"- Smooth as a dolphin. - Impressive."
American Dad!
"As the pen hit the paper, I knew instantly I was a liar."
American Dad!
"It's a hole in my heart I desperately yearn to fill."
American Dad!
"I got this one."
American Dad!
"- What? - Your folks made me your legal guardian."
American Dad!
"Whatever. Say hi to Brian for me."
American Dad!
"- L'll see you later. - I'll be home after your bedtime."
American Dad!
"Of course. Sleep tight."
American Dad!
"Maybe instead of a new football stadium..."
American Dad!
"- Uh-oh. - He's gettin' it good."
American Dad!
"- Oh, damn. - Um, who are you?"
American Dad!
"Brian just called me! He said you were a jerk during Coffee with the Principal!"
American Dad!
"Look, me and him-"
American Dad!
""He and I.""
American Dad!
"- Just wanted to make a little lunch for Steve. - That was thoughtful."
American Dad!
"He told Principal Lewis I should be getting better grades."
American Dad!
"There's a school bus?"
American Dad!
"we can finally go on that kids-free vacation we've been talking about the last 10 years."
American Dad!
"Flash Flood Acres!"
American Dad!
"I'm going to hatchet you, Bob Crawley!"
American Dad!
"Yay!"
American Dad!
"- You got a funny way of showin' it! - Geez, you scared me."
American Dad!
"Said nothing for so long, then you yelled."
American Dad!
"- So, that was weird today. - We'll get your job back."
American Dad!
"- Oh, no, you don't. - Roger!"
American Dad!
"What are you doing? - Steve, your relationship with him is inappropriate."
American Dad!
"It happened to me once. The guy was a monster."
American Dad!
"That's how he gets me."
American Dad!
"It's Alan Rickman."
American Dad!
"You've lost your job, and you've got a teenager handling your money?"
American Dad!
"Where's your butt buddy now?"
American Dad!
"Here. Let me get you some hot chocolate."
American Dad!
"There's a Galactica marathon on."
American Dad!
"- Is that it? - We've done everything on the map twice."
American Dad!
"- Roger- - My baby!"
American Dad!
"Oh, no."
American Dad!
"Freddy."
American Dad!
"Hi. We would like a refund for eight day passes."
American Dad!
"Hello."
American Dad!
"Dad, you guys have to come home!"
American Dad!
"it's natural, honey. Shameful and natural."
American Dad!
"You want a bedtime song?"
American Dad!
"# Gonna try to make up for all the times #"
American Dad!
"Oh. Steve."
American Dad!
"It totally sucks here! Let me come with you."
American Dad!
"Lew-Lew!"
American Dad!
"Man, I can't wait till we get to-"
American Dad!
"Ooh, I'll have freedom out there."
American Dad!
"Y'all got a lot of nerve!"
American Dad!
"Okay."
American Dad!
"I will be a dancer. What are your skills, Brian?"
American Dad!
"Oh, Steve. We're not going to Arizona to live together."
American Dad!
"L've got nothing left to live for, Steve..."
American Dad!
"I haven't seen him since you introduced us."
American Dad!
"I'm a good kid because my parents allow me the freedom to be myself."
American Dad!
"Damn it, Freddy. I've been a fool."
American Dad!
"I'm gonna come down after you, and by the time I get to the bottom, I'll be ready to go."
American Dad!
"L'll be there to receive you."
American Dad!
"Please! I thought we were friends!"
American Dad!
"You were my accountant, Steve."
American Dad!
"When you love someone hard enough, you always know where they are."
American Dad!
"I can't do that, Steve."
American Dad!
"We're gonna make it!"
American Dad!
"I'm a terrible legal guardian."
American Dad!
"Time for your bath, Mr. Lewis."
American Dad!
"Well, it looks like you tried to slingshot yourself into Francine, didn't you, Stan?"
American Dad!
"Bye! Have a beautiful time."
American Dad!
"I need Steve Smith to come to my office at once."
American Dad!
"Ooh!"
American Dad!
"We're co-presidents of the Good Boy Club."
American Dad!
"Did that kiss oath mean nothing?"
American Dad!
"Sure. I got it right here."
American Dad!
"- Wha-bam! - Oh, dear."
American Dad!
""Wha-bam!""
American Dad!
"That was pretty hilarious, buddy."
American Dad!
"I swear, it's like they're dating now."
American Dad!
"They don't pay me enough to give a damn about that."
American Dad!
"My credit's a mess. I'm in overdraft hell..."
American Dad!
"Clara, did you roll your goddang eyes at him?"
American Dad!
"Woman, I will make you teach summer school!"
American Dad!
"I will steal your summer!"
American Dad!
"Ugh!"
American Dad!
"That's how you lose a summer, bitch!"
American Dad!
"# What's that sound? It's the calendar on my smartphone #"
American Dad!
"Oh, fuck. it's Coffee with the Principal at Steve's school."
American Dad!
"Oh, God. We've gone to a million of those."
American Dad!
"Why don't I go in your place?"
American Dad!
"Or a legal guardian."
American Dad!
"All you'd have to do is sign a few papers, and la-la-I'm responsible for Steve."
American Dad!
"Roger, couple things."
American Dad!
"I think you meant to say "voila" instead of "la-la." - I did."
American Dad!
"And we'd be terrible parents..."
American Dad!
"if we gave you any authority over Steve."
American Dad!
"Hey, I'm a great caregiver."
American Dad!
"I promise. if you make me his guardian, I won't let you down."
American Dad!
"How are we supposed to believe that?"
American Dad!
"Behold, Roger Smith, caregiver."
American Dad!
"Here's me burping a baby."
American Dad!
"Lush."
American Dad!
"Shaved him clean, bow to stern."
American Dad!
"after I took care of him the week you all went to Michael Jackson's funeral."
American Dad!
"# Hee-hee #"
American Dad!
"I quickly circled the five, but that slight mark remains..."
American Dad!
"and it torments me every day of my life!"
American Dad!
"Making me Steve's guardian would be the greatest gift you guys could ever give me."
American Dad!
"I guess we could let him do Coffee with the Principal, just as a trial run."
American Dad!
"And if that doesn't work out, we yank his privileges."
American Dad!
"You just got me seriously horny."
American Dad!
"Okay, Roger, we'll make you Steve's legal guardian."
American Dad!
"Really? Oh, my God! Thank you!"
American Dad!
"Whoa. Watch out."
American Dad!
"Stan. Go on."
American Dad!
"Hey, bud. You hear the great news?"
American Dad!
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