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Clips from Family Guy - The Former Life of Brian (S06E06)

"All that's left is the psychological screening."
Family Guy
"- Okay. - How do you feel about this?"
Family Guy
"All right, you know what? This isn't working out."
Family Guy
"My pot."
Family Guy
"Your pot?"
Family Guy
"...and let him into, um..."
Family Guy
"Hey, hey, what if, um, they were Korean pilots?"
Family Guy
"I'm not really looking for notes..."
Family Guy
"I'm sorry I wasn't around when you were growing up."
Family Guy
"Don't. Just don't..."
Family Guy
"- I didn't know. - You have no right. No right."
Family Guy
"Shh. Shh. Shh. It's okay. It's okay."
Family Guy
"...for all those years, but that's gonna change."
Family Guy
"Was somebody looking for a son with a bright new path to adulthood..."
Family Guy
"...and his very, very proud dad?"
Family Guy
"From now on, I plan on being a real father to Dylan."
Family Guy
"- Right, champ? - You said it, Dad."
Family Guy
"- All right. You ready for school? - Yeah. Hey, can I drive today?"
Family Guy
"- Right? - Yes."
Family Guy
"- Bye, Mom. - Bye."
Family Guy
"The audition's not till 3. Don't jinx it."
Family Guy
"Oh, Lois, uh, Dylan is very special to me, and..."
Family Guy
"Well, didn't you just get a ticket for running a red light?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, like six years ago. And I got that ticket..."
Family Guy
"...because I got distracted because you were leaning out the window..."
Family Guy
"...barking at a cow. - So you admit you ran the red light?"
Family Guy
"Crudely painted, not-so-funny plywood cutout folk art."
Family Guy
"...Tube Man Warehouse and Emporium."
Family Guy
"As a result of a lawsuit, I am now in possession of hundreds of pallets..."
Family Guy
"...of crudely painted, not-so-funny plywood cutout folk art."
Family Guy
"And it's just waiting to transform your uncut trash-strewn lawn..."
Family Guy
"...into a living canvas that tells passers-by:"
Family Guy
""Hey, everyone. A real funny bugger lives here. ""
Family Guy
"Your neighbors will chuckle warmly. Motorists will slow down..."
Family Guy
"...when they cast their eyes on such favorites as: Ben & Jerry's-looking cow."
Family Guy
"Black-silhouetted cowboy leaning on barn. And everybody's favorite:"
Family Guy
"Fat woman tending to her garden in big polka-dotted bloomers."
Family Guy
"Most of this stuff is priced to move, and until it does, it's a fire hazard."
Family Guy
"We interrupt to bring you grim news out of LaGuardia airport..."
Family Guy
"...where a 767 has been forced to make a crash landing."
Family Guy
"I just think, you know, " Oh, my God, what if Dylan were on that plane?""
Family Guy
"What...? Oh, my God, I don't know what I would do."
Family Guy
"...you do not understand. Okay?"
Family Guy
"Watch this. Hey, Brian. What would you do if Dylan fell out a window?"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I don't even wanna think about that."
Family Guy
"Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, no."
Family Guy
"...between being concerned and being overprotective."
Family Guy
"You're right, you can't hold your kids back. It's like I say:"
Family Guy
"Brian, I wanna punch you in the dick right now."
Family Guy
"Well, how many library assistants did they pick?"
Family Guy
"One of four?"
Family Guy
"Extra, extra, read all about it. Ice cream for Dylan tonight."
Family Guy
"I'm telling you Joe, he's as annoying as mosquitoes in the summertime."
Family Guy
"Oh, it's much nicer in here. I'm gonna float around for a while..."
Family Guy
"I tell you, I wish that old hag of Brian's had never told him he had a kid."
Family Guy
"Get his mother to take him back."
Family Guy
"- How the hell am I supposed to do that? - She's an idiot redneck."
Family Guy
"Tricking her should be easier than escaping from Canadian Alcatraz."
Family Guy
"Lunch is ready, everyone."
Family Guy
"There's nothing wrong with it. Our kids eat..."
Family Guy
"- Brian, I promise you, it's fine. - Lois, Lois, Lois."
Family Guy
"- I will decide what is best for my child. - Look, will you take it easy?"
Family Guy
"And... And I do not wanna have this conversation in front of my son."
Family Guy
"Tell you what. Go up to my jewelry box, take my gold jewelry."
Family Guy
"That good enough? Gold bread good enough for your Dylan?"
Family Guy
"Hey, everybody. Look who's back to pick up her son."
Family Guy
"This isn't The Price Is Right."
Family Guy
"You said we were going to The Price Is Right."
Family Guy
"- Peter, what the hell is this? - What are you doing here?"
Family Guy
"What a joyous family reunion. Isn't this great, Brian?"
Family Guy
"Now Dylan can go back with his mom, and you can stop acting like a jackass."
Family Guy
"So that's what this is all about."
Family Guy
"I must say, you have been a little insufferable lately, Brian."
Family Guy
"We just want the old you back. That's all."
Family Guy
"...with the one bit of flesh and blood that I have on this earth."
Family Guy
"- Who wants a half-and-half? - I'll throw my hat into that ring."
Family Guy
"Wait a minute, Dad."
Family Guy
"...I finally have a chance to transform my mom's life..."
Family Guy
"My life will never be the same for knowing you."
Family Guy
"Bye. Thanks for coming."
Family Guy
"I'm gonna miss that boy."
Family Guy
"She looks like a really hot Tim Russert. Right?"
Family Guy
"- Right? - Yes."
Family Guy
"- What happened to your face? - I'm a kitty cat."
Family Guy
"...thanks to all that Owens Corning fiberglass insulation."
Family Guy
"You know, Matthew, I may not ever get another chance to say this..."
Family Guy
"You're one of the worst actors in the history of film."
Family Guy
"To counterbalance Jodie Foster."
Family Guy
"They took her to be, uh, slightly cold, unapproachable, so they put me in there."
Family Guy
"...but they were just like, "Oh, the audiences need you. " Heh, heh."
Family Guy
"That was so humiliating."
Family Guy
"- Kind of thought this was a team effort. - Yeah."
Family Guy
"I hate you all. I didn't ask to be born."
Family Guy
"I just woke up from a nap, and I feel drafty."
Family Guy
"- Danny Zuko. - Oh, come on."
Family Guy
"- No, go away. - Can I please come in?"
Family Guy
"Okay."
Family Guy
"- Whoa, Lois, Lois, this is white bread. - Yeah, so?"
Family Guy
"I just... I just... I don't want Dylan eating white bread."
Family Guy
"Lois, Lois, I do not want Dylan eating white bread."
Family Guy
"Look at her. She needs me. A lot more than you do."
Family Guy
"I'll bite your neck, but also, look how big I am down there."
Family Guy
"- The costume doesn't make any sense. - Don't stifle my creativity."
Family Guy
"Money from terrible films I put out into the American populace..."
Family Guy
"...and I shall walk her to town."
Family Guy
"...their group."
Family Guy
"...I want Dylan exposed to. Have fun with your dead kids, reckless driver."
Family Guy
"You have to give your kids both roots and wings."
Family Guy
"One of four."
Family Guy
"Listen, I'll always be grateful to you for turning my life around."
Family Guy
"Besides, it's not like Tracy ever asked for my help."
Family Guy
"Everybody, this handsome, muscular boy is Brian's son, Dylan."
Family Guy
"I'm monitoring Dylan from here on Stewie's baby monitor."
Family Guy
"I'm gonna make you into a better person, starting first thing tomorrow."
Family Guy
"So please come see me on Route 2 in Weekapaug."
Family Guy
"Wow, you sure look different than the last time I saw you."
Family Guy
"...and I could not figure out how to get it off."
Family Guy
"Look for the Sort of Ben & Jerry's cow out front."
Family Guy
"He's your son."
Family Guy
"Oh, no way."
Family Guy
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