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Clips from Family Guy - Tales of a Third Grade Nothing (S07E07)

"You're gonna fail faster than John Maddens wedding video business."
Family Guy
"[Mike and Stacy's Wedding]"
Family Guy
"Boom, here's your groom over here."
Family Guy
"A lot of people says Stacy's no good"
Family Guy
"and she slept with this guy"
Family Guy
"and then that guy,"
Family Guy
"and even this guy."
Family Guy
"Well, tell you something, that experience's gonna work in her favor later in the game."
Family Guy
"You know, what a hack of a wedding? Brad Farve."
Family Guy
"[Pawtucket brewery]"
Family Guy
"Griffin, I've got good news."
Family Guy
"Our management level position has become available"
Family Guy
"I'm recommending you for a promotion."
Family Guy
"- Ah, and I could use the executive bathroom? - Of course."
Family Guy
"Holy crap! You know, last week I ate a fortune cookie and it said"
Family Guy
""Obvious lesbian will bring great news""
Family Guy
"And also said "A great piano will fall on me"."
Family Guy
"Well-- Good day to you."
Family Guy
"And I will, um--"
Family Guy
"Yeah, I mean, we're-- we're done."
Family Guy
"[Pawtucket brewery]"
Family Guy
"[Human resources]"
Family Guy
"Hi, is this where I get the poop pass to use the executive bathroom?"
Family Guy
"Sit down, mr. Griffin. We need to talk."
Family Guy
"Okay, well, make it fast, 'cause I'm starting to crown."
Family Guy
"Mr. Griffin, all our executives require a high school education."
Family Guy
"And your file says that you never passed the third grade."
Family Guy
"Well, that sounds hilarious but it also sounds like it might take a while."
Family Guy
"I'm afraid that's your only option."
Family Guy
"Well, I mean, if that's what I got to do, then I guess I--"
Family Guy
"Next time you got a fortune cookie don't open it."
Family Guy
"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
Family Guy
"All you got to do is finish third grade and you'll get that promotion."
Family Guy
"Ladies and gentlemen, the Quahog mens chorus."
Family Guy
"Hey, hey, hey! Clap one more time, you're not coming to my birthday."
Family Guy
"- Who did that? - Giggity."
Family Guy
"Good morning, class. Starting today we have a new student."
Family Guy
"Hi, my name's Peter Griffin, um--"
Family Guy
"I was actually in third grade a long time ago but I've never finished."
Family Guy
"Back then we had a teacher named mrs. Wilson."
Family Guy
"We called her mrs. Killson. 'Cause she had an abortion."
Family Guy
"I know, I know, it's kinda silly but we were-- You know, we were just a bunch of kids."
Family Guy
"I'm sorry, go ahead, mrs.-- uh--"
Family Guy
"Wilson. Thank you, Peter."
Family Guy
"Omar is our top student"
Family Guy
"and we're hoping he'll lead us to victory next week in the district "Spelling Bee"."
Family Guy
"What are you doing in our class? You're old. Are you stupid or something?"
Family Guy
"Aw, picking on a new kid, huh?"
Family Guy
"Well, at least my parents didn't name me Gaymar."
Family Guy
"Wow! I never knew you can make fun of someone for being homosexual."
Family Guy
"And by laughing at other people's sexuality"
Family Guy
"somehow I feel better of it at my own."
Family Guy
"[Quahog Cabana] [Grand re-opening]"
Family Guy
"Hey, Brian, where are all the people?"
Family Guy
"They'll be here, Franck. We just got to give them time."
Family Guy
"And wouldn't you know it, there's our first customer."
Family Guy
"So, thanks for coming. How are you doing tonight?"
Family Guy
"Glad to hear it. Any requests?"
Family Guy
"Play on the dark side"
Family Guy
"like John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band."
Family Guy
"Give it up, Brian, noone wants to go to a stupid big band club anymore."
Family Guy
"You know, I could help you make some changes around here that would bring in customers."
Family Guy
"Well, what do you have in mind?"
Family Guy
"Just trust me, Brian, I know exactly what to do."
Family Guy
"You've got to be aggressive."
Family Guy
"Even more aggressive than Michael Jackson's treatment of his own groin on stage."
Family Guy
"[Martin Mull elementary]"
Family Guy
"All right, Suzie. What have you brought in for Show and Tell?"
Family Guy
"This is my Malibu Barbie doll that I got for Christmas this year."
Family Guy
"She comes with a hairbrush, a pocketbook and two different dresses."
Family Guy
"Oh my god! Who the hell cares?"
Family Guy
"Peter, I would like to remind you that you are in a classroom."
Family Guy
"Not for long."
Family Guy
"Hi there, my name's Glenn Griffin. Um, I'm here to pick up my son Peter for a ball ga--"
Family Guy
"Uh, doctor's appointment."
Family Guy
"- Peter is your son? - That is affirmative."
Family Guy
"Because you look a lot more like that child over there."
Family Guy
"- Daady? - Oh god!"
Family Guy
"- Papa? - Oh god!"
Family Guy
"Oh, thank god!"
Family Guy
"[pLace]"
Family Guy
"What the hell did Stewie do to this place?"
Family Guy
"Hey, get a load of Meaner J. Cribbs(?) over here"
Family Guy
"he's rubbing the records with his hand."
Family Guy
"Hey! Hey! You gonna ruin that, you know."
Family Guy
"He-hey, there they are."
Family Guy
"Stewie, what is all this? What did you do to the Cabana Club?"
Family Guy
"Ew, we don't call it the Cabana Club anymore, Franck. It's now called pLace."
Family Guy
"Little P, big L."
Family Guy
"Congratulations! You two now own the hottest spot in town."
Family Guy
"Wow, that's a lot of people. I hope we have enough rhye(?)."
Family Guy
"How'd you pay for all this?"
Family Guy
"I got a job as a field reporter for Channel 5 News."
Family Guy
"And all the juice is being collected underneath?"
Family Guy
"Yes. And whoever collects the most is gonna win a free weekend"
Family Guy
"here in the chateau with interhational food and wine tastings."
Family Guy
"Stop!"
Family Guy
"Oh, I can't breathe."
Family Guy
"I can't breathe."
Family Guy
"Oh, gosh, I-- I hope he's all right."
Family Guy
"Well, we'll have to send someone to make sure that he is."
Family Guy
"[Martin Mull elementary]"
Family Guy
"Hurts donut."
Family Guy
"Dumbass."
Family Guy
"Wow, he effectively silenced Omar by hitting him in the face."
Family Guy
"My dad hits me but I bet, if I hit others, the pain stops."
Family Guy
"Someday I'll use what I've learned here on my wife."
Family Guy
"Peter, is this your homework?"
Family Guy
"[Homework is for buttlickers]"
Family Guy
"Yeah, that's mine."
Family Guy
"But buttlickers is three syllable word."
Family Guy
"Not even Omar can spell those."
Family Guy
"So, you're joining him at next weeks districts "Spelling Bee"."
Family Guy
"I you'll lead our school to victory, I'll let you pass third grade."
Family Guy
"But if you lose, you fail."
Family Guy
"I accept that challenge."
Family Guy
"Light 70's Bruce Jenner, take me home."
Family Guy
"Hup on, Peter."
Family Guy
"You think this is cool? Look at these people."
Family Guy
"I'd rather go bankrupt than cater to pretentious jerks like this."
Family Guy
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