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Clips from The Office - Paper Airplane (S09E09)

"But, to speak my truth,"
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"it wasn't out of the way,"
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"'cause I felt like a tea anyway, so one trip."
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"Well, to speak my truth,"
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"I switched to coffee in March."
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"But I still acknowledge and appreciate the gesture."
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"We are rolling, and action."
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"This video is to demonstrate"
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"the HPRDC chemical handling protocols."
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"These protocols could save you"
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"from severe injury, even death."
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"Okay, stop."
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"Why are you smiling?"
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"who really likes what he does"
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"and enjoys his job."
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"Okay, well, maybe no smiling on this one."
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"So how do you want-- how should I do it?"
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"I don't know. Just like you're reporting the news or something. Okay?"
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"- Action. - This video is to demonstrate"
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"the HPRDC chemical handling protocols."
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"It's Tom Brokaw, the newscaster. Come on."
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"- Who was that? - Tom Brokaw."
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"- Come on, Clark! - Come on, Clark!"
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"- Whoa! - Yeah!"
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"Oh, eat it, piggy. Eat it."
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"Oink oink oink oink."
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"We still got to work together, so we should keep it civil."
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"[Snorting]"
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"[Snorting]"
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"You get your slop? [Imitating pig squealing]"
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"All right, you know what, this is completely unnecessary."
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"- You already won. Just stop. - Erin."
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"- Erin. - What?"
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"- Relax. - Next up we have Dwight"
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"- and Phyllis. - You can do it, baby."
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"No, you can't, baby."
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"- Watch and learn. - Wow."
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"Dwight, you are through to the semifinals."
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"- Yes. - All right."
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"Oh, Esther,"
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"- what are you-- - Hey."
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"You're here early."
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"'cause I knew I was seeing you tonight, so..."
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"there might just be a little bit of feather"
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"inside of your pillow."
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"I like a little feather in my nuggets."
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"All right, ladies and gentlemen,"
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"we are now down to the final four--"
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"Dwight, Erin,"
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"Angela, and, God only knows how, but Toby."
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"One of you will walk away with $2,000."
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"Yeah"
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"Okay, here you have just knocked over the beaker."
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"The chemicals splashed in your eye."
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"- Which is insanely painful. - Yeah."
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"And I've already picked a few childhood memories"
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"to tap into to really express that pain."
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"That's great."
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"So what you're gonna do then is come over here to the eye washing station"
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"So I just lean over this thing and then"
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"you'll add the water special effect later?"
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"What water special effect?"
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"Yeah, just hold your lids open with one hand"
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"and let the stream bathe your eyeballs."
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"Like that."
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"I'll go full Lena Dunham, but I--"
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"Dude, we don't need you to go nude, okay?"
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"- Absolutely not. - Just do the eyewash thing, okay?"
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"That's all we're asking here."
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"Darryl, what do I do?"
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"Hold up, I'm looking at my spit in the microscope."
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"So?"
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"I've never even used an eyedropper."
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"So, Andy, you saw how to use this?"
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"You step on the pedal. Water squirts in your eyes."
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"Carla!"
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"Carla!"
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"It is time for a little "T" and "A.""
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"I give you Toby and Angela."
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"- Oh, my God! - Wow!"
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"Oh, my God. Okay, it's your turn."
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"Well, Angela is the winner."
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"Yes."
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"Yes, I pity her."
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"She was recently in a situation where she could have had it all,"
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"and instead she lost everything."
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"Is she a gambler?"
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"In a way, but not in a stand-up-and-cheer kind of way"
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"Andy, if you don't stick your eyes in that machine,"
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"I'm gonna call every production in Northeastern Pennsylvania."
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"You won't even make an appearance"
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"on a security camera."
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"What's the holdup here?"
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"The actor's crying."
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"Oh, God."
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"She yelled at me."
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"I can't wash my eyeball. I can't do that."
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"I can't."
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"Andy Bernard can't squirt water in his eye"
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"and act like it doesn't freak him out."
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"But you know who can?"
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"Older male lab assistant number one."
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"You believe in me?"
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"I believe..."
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"I want to go home."
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"Yeah! Okay. Beat that."
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"[Chuckles]"
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"Whoo!"
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"- Okay. - Damn it!"
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"Damn it!"
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"God-- sorry. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine."
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"- Okay. - I got mad."
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"- Yeah. - 'Cause I don't like losing,"
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"Pete. I just gotta--"
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"Sorry, I'm mad, Pete. I'm mad."
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"I'm really mad. I wanted to win. We were gonna win a lot of money."
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"I was gonna buy you a sweater. So this is stupid."
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"It's just the whole contest is stupid,"
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"I don't like losing. I thought I was going to win."
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"Okay, hey, hey, hey."
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