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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Luminous Fish Effect (S01E01)

"Anyway, when he went on the lnternet to get some..."
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"...a man from the government came by and sat him down real gentle..."
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"...and told him it's against the law to have yellow cake uranium in a shed."
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"- Well, what happened? - Well, poor boy had a fit."
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"Locked himself in his room and built a sonic death ray."
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"- A death ray? - Well, that's what he called it."
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"Didn't even slow down the neighbor kids. Heh."
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"It pissed our dog off to no end."
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"You know, you two make a cute couple."
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"I-- No, no. No, we're not a couple. We're singles."
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"Two singles. Like those individually wrapped slices of cheese that...."
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"Or friends."
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"- Did I pluck a nerve there? - Oh, yeah."
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"Okay. All right, everybody, it's time to eat."
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"Now, after a moment of silent meditation, I'm gonna end with "in Jesus' name"..."
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"...but you two don't feel any obligation to join in."
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"Unless, of course, the Holy Spirit moves you."
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"Oh, my God, this is the best cobbler I've ever had."
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"It was always Sheldon's favorite. You know what the secret ingredient is?"
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"- Love? - Lard."
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"- Hey, look who's com-- - Shh. You'll spook him."
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"He's like a baby deer. You gotta let him come to you."
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"This is ridiculous."
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"You're a physicist. You belong at the university doing research, not in your room."
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"You don't hunt, do you?"
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"Good morning, Snickerdoodle."
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"- Morning. - Oh."
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"Well, that looks awful fancy. What is that?"
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"It's my idea of what DNA would look like in a silicon-based life form."
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"But intelligently designed by a creator, right?"
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"What do you want, Mom?"
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"You know how your daddy used to say that you can only fish for so long..."
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"...before you gotta throw a stick of dynamite in the water?"
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"- Yeah? - Well, I'm done fishing."
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"- You put those on. - What for?"
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"Because you're gonna go to your office..."
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"...apologize to your boss and get your job back."
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"- No. - I'm sorry."
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"Did I start that sentence with the words "if it please Your Highness"?"
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"I'm not going to. I didn't say anything that wasn't true."
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"Now, you listen here."
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"I have been telling you since you were 4."
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"It's okay to be smarter than everybody, but you can't go around pointing it out."
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"- Why not? - Because people don't like it."
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"Remember all the ass-kickings from the neighbor kids?"
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"Now, let's get cracking."
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"Shower, shirt, shoes and let's shove off."
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"Problem solved."
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"Really? That's impressive."
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"Leonard, the Lord never gives us more than we can handle."
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"Thankfully, he blessed me with two other children..."
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"...who are dumb as soup."
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"Excuse me, Dr. Gablehauser, are you busy?"
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"- Well, actually-- - Sheldon, he's just doodling. Get in here."
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"- Dr. Gablehauser. - Dr. Cooper."
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"Let's go, baby, we're losing daylight."
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"As you know, several weeks ago in our first encounter..."
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"...we may have gotten off on the wrong foot..."
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"...when I called you an idiot."
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"And I just wanted to say that I was wrong..."
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"...to point it out."
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"I'm sorry, we haven't been introduced."
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"- Dr. Eric Gablehauser. - Mary Cooper, Sheldon's mom."
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"Oh, aren't you sweet. His father's dead."
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"- Recently? - Long enough."
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"Please."
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"Sheldon, shouldn't you be working?"
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"Okay."
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"Hey, how did it go?"
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"Really? What happened?"
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"I'm not quite sure."
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"It involves a part of the human experience that has always eluded me."
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"Well, that narrows it down."
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"I'm very proud of you, honey. You showed a lot of courage today."
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"Is Dr. Gablehauser going to be my new daddy?"
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"We'll see. Sleep tight."
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"Sounds yummy."
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"And we all thank you."
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"I also have an idea for a bulk, mail-order feminine hygiene company."
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"I'm taking a sabbatical because I won't kowtow to mediocre minds."
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"Oh, Lord, we thank you for this meal and for all your bounty."
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"I didn't know what to do. He's lost all focus."
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"Sweetheart, your little friend is concerned about you."
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